I suggest messaging me before any friend requests. Cause I'll just fucking ignore you, or tell you off for being a stupid whore. I don't collect friends. Period.
If love was a choice, who would chose such exquisite pain?
I really don't know what to say in here, I've said so many things over the last 4 years that I've been on here that I'm tired of editing.
I'm kind, too kind. I care about those I barely know and I want people to be happy. I put others before myself and I've been taken advantage of too many times. When I try to make things better I usually make them worse. I don't pretend to be anything but me. I can't fake or lie my way out of a box so take it as it is. I've gotten into trouble and people have accused me of leading them on etc for the things I did when I never told them I wanted more. Like I said I can be too kind. I will go out of my way to bring a smile to someone's face. I try to be a true friend.
I work in an office right now and I'm not liking it. Its deffinitely not something I want to be doing the rest of my life, but I still don't know what I want to do or what I want to learn and this is paying the bills so here I am.
I have an insatiable appetite for knowledge, the only problem is it has to interest me at least a little bit or I'm going to go off and think about something else. My mind is always running, it never stops. Just once I wish I could stop thinking, just for a little while to know what its like.
I like all kinds of music, I'm ecclectic but I do have my favorites. I was brought up in and around the theater so yes quite frequently I listen to show tunes but some of them are pretty damn funny (I.E. Avenue Q ) so you can bite me if you don't like it.
I'm tired of trying to win people over. Either you like me for who I am or I couldn't care less. I'm not the party type, I like going out but I don't need to be blasted to have fun and there doesn't need to be a million people around. I don't like being the center of attention and more often than not I drift into the background and watch the people around me. I've notice more and more that I watch more than I do. Which is good because you learn to pay attention and you get to know people more if you listen and watch. However, I'm tired of JUST watching. I'm bored, incredibly and endlessly bored. Perhaps restless is more the word for it. I don't smoke, I barely drink and that's that. Don't ask me to join you I'll just shake my head and there's nothing you can do to change that.
I'm not high maintenance, or a sissy priss type. I don't worry about my hair all that much and I don't need to wake up in the morning wearing make up. The only time that happens is because I happened to put some on the night before and fell asleep with it on, which also means it will be smeared all over my face. ^_^ I don't keep up with the latest fashions nor do I really care that much. I wear what I like and I could care less if it's 'in' I once had someone say to me "I need new clothes, these are two years old" I wanted to punch them in the face. I thought that was rediculous. But anyway, Long story short, I'd rather be in comfy clothes sitting on the couch than wearing stripper shoes to a club.
We all have our problems and sometimes mine overwhelm me. I have my bad days like everyone else, but just know that if someone needed me I'd be there in a heartbeat. I am last in my book, its fucked me over too many times but I can't seem to break this habbit of being there for my friends.
I'm not very confident, I try to fake that, I won't lie but sometimes its what you have to do. You can't hunch your shoulders, hide under your hair and shrink into the corner every chance you get. My job doesn't allow me to be meek and quiet and withdrawn. Unfortunately the jobs I have had over the past few years have been unable to accomodate the shy timid side of me. I have trouble speaking up for myself and I often just sit and take it. Unfortunately because of that character flaw that also means that when I've had it. I've really had it. I'm already gone and moving on because I just can't take anymore. I don't have much self esteem but I'm working on it. I know that I'm worth more than I allow and I shouldn't make it so easy for people to walk all over me.
Contradictory to some prior statements. I'm a bitch, and a goddess. You don't like it that's just too fucking bad. I should be treated like the goddess I am and I deserve it. Don't fuck with my friends or fuck me over because I will more than likely knock your ass out. I don't sit by while those around me hurt those I love and care about. I'm tenacious and its not always a good thing. I'm a stubborn little Aries and if I have to I'll knock you out to prove my point. Sort of like when Ron White thought he won the debate by saying "yeah well Fuck you!" if nothing else I will revert to this childish tactic....you've been warned.
Bad song, but funny as hell!
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