ayla profile picture

ayla

She got stars tangled in her hair whenever she played in the sky.

About Me



I am the phantom of pieces, pieces. I am the phantom of you. I am the phantom of past places, faces. I am the phantom of lies turned true. I am the phantom of times spent dreaming, dancing in the rain. I am the phantom of worthless wishing, wandering through pain. I am the phantom of fine intentions, time’s extensions slurred. I am the phantom of breathy tensions, late preventions lured. I am the phantom of muddy sweaters, wiping away tears. I am the phantom of triptych landscapes, dying through the years. I am the phantom: Of love I thought they gave. Of shoulders meant to lean. Of friends I’d thought I’d made. Of corners never seen. Of well loved shows. Of happy middles. Of tattered clothes. Of warn down riddles. I am the phantom of all you left me, I am the phantom of none. I am the phantom of empty letters, I am the phantom of something -better-.

My Interests

Music, singing, musicians, mosh pits, crowd-surfing, love, gymnastics, photography, the evening light, hugs, nights, injuries, performance art, frisbee, tossing a softball around, downtown, bruises, bandaids, doodling, underwater, the sky, my yard, tea, dandelions, Portland, safety-pins, flying, spinning, time, beauty and decay, back-alleys, walking, the seashore, shells, memories, passion, homemade gifts, dancing, crying when it's needed, trees (and climbing them), lyrics, eyes, writting, white christmas lights, nearly normals, nostalgia, pain, talking...*really* talking, tragic romance, Europe, concerts, Japanese food, having a good time, swingsets, guys, mangos, Kawaii, shooting stars and satellites, treehouses, holding hands, moonlight, Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, 11:11, secret spots, smells, the sound of settling, you.Math boredom.Well, there's a story...Thrice In A Blue Moon. In loving memory of my dear friend, Konani.Happy Birthday (Self-portrait)Under the Weight of Your WingsDancing Through DrudgeryHold It InFace Me Now Theatre's a party.Sometimes a bit -too- much of a party...Horseback riding in British Columbia. ♥

I'd like to meet:

Scissors

Add to My Profile | More Videos Someone old, someone new, someone to stick around and pull me through. Someone to love with all I have, who will truly love me back. Just try me. I dare you. x:X:x♥x:X:x It goes so fast.

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Music:

/In no particular order...Immaculate Machine- The Cure- The Clash- The Decemberists- Caitlin and the Shot Glasses- The Mars Volta- Abandoned Pools- Koufax- Cake- Mates of State- The Magnetic Fields- Modest Mouse- The Decemberists- Neutral Milk Hotel- The Jackson Five- The Violent Femmes- The Briggs- My Chemical Romance- Franz Ferdinand- Piebald- The Stack- Anti-Flag- Plain White T's- Stoner- Nine Inch Nails- Marimba music!- The Subways- The Fray- Iggy and the Stooges- The Used- Rise Against- Snow Patrol- Matchbox 20- Eagle Eye Cherry- Lifehouse- The Smashing Pumpkins- Billy Idol- Boy In Static- AFI- The Alkaline Trio- Weezer- The Matches- On The Rocks- Arctic Monkeys- Bouncing Souls- Hawthorne Heights- Silverstein- The Pixies- The Smiths- Death Cab For Cutie- Bright Eyes- Rancid- Tsunami Bomb- The Dead Kennedys- Tiger Army- The Ramones- The Killers- Dire Straits- Jack Johnson- Anna Nalick- Echo and the Bunnymen- Rockapella- The Mountain Goats- The Red Hot Chili Peppers- Rancid- Gregory and the Hawk- The Sex Pistols- Motion City Soundtrack- Street Light Manafesto- Third Eye Blind- Hot Hot Heat- Iron and Wine- The Postal Service- Something Corporate- The Distillers- Against Me!- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Jonny Lives!- The Shins- Letter Kills- Coldplay- The Arcade Fire- Ok Go- The Beatles- Lightweight Holiday- Catch 22- The F Ups- The Real Mckenzies- The Kinks- The Casualties- Not Very Good- Thursday- Blink 182- Matchbook Romance- Johny Cash- Speaker Rhodes- The Misfits- NOFX- The Strokes- Cat Power- Flogging Molly- Maxeen- The Unseen- Taking Back Sunday- Pulley- Queen- Throw Rag- Hazen Street- Hootie and the Blowfish- more... a

Movies:

Donnie Darko, Fight Club, Frida, Amelie, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Empire Records, Mirrormask, Sin City, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Millions, Kung Fu Hustle, Garden State, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Boondock Saints, The Breakfast Club

Television:

Not terribly into TV - Family Guy, Futurama, That 70's Show, Crossing Jordan...

Books:

The original story of Peter Pan...A LOT. Hardcore Zen

Heroes:

Chris and Andy are BEASTS...Buddies! :) Friends are beautiful.My favorite uncle...my only uncle. Nothing like wind in your face. This dude taught me how to surf. Thanks, this dude. Man, I miss Kawaii.I'd like to think it's a decent likeness... No one to tell us no, or where to go, or say we're only dreaming.John Winter, you made me smile.

My Blog

Mirasol.

If all goes according to my parents plans, I'll be headed to the Mirasol residential treatment center in less than two weeks. It's in Tucson, Arizona. The minimum standard treatment time is two month...
Posted by ayla on Sat, 14 Oct 2006 09:52:00 PST

I'm not heartbroken.

I'm just really fucking sick of this.  
Posted by ayla on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 07:36:00 PST

I want to quit school and be a dancer.

I want to quit school and be a dancer. I want to quit life and be an angel.I want to paint these walls with the beauty of my memories until nothing but moonlight dare shine through the cracks.I want t...
Posted by ayla on Sun, 17 Sep 2006 05:08:00 PST

Secret House Vinyard

So, the Death Cab/ Mates of State concert was flipping AMAZING. We made it to the front row, just off center (thanks to a quite tall, very kind, indie-loving man). Kendra came away with ...
Posted by ayla on Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:57:00 PST

Did you blink?

I think, maybe...I just got over him. Maybe. I feel weird.  
Posted by ayla on Thu, 27 Jul 2006 02:23:00 PST

A Tale of Two Rediculous Personifications

Once upon a time there were two sides of the earth: two sides of the sky, smoothly breached by a void of blue. The moonrise prequel(ed) the sunset so that the asphalt was warm with youths glow. The ri...
Posted by ayla on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 09:17:00 PST

Fireworks

They come from all over town to gather in hoards. Carrying waterproofed and heat-insulated tarps, tubs of Cool Whip and light beer, hundreds pack into several acres of un-ownable riverfront property. ...
Posted by ayla on Mon, 10 Jul 2006 09:15:00 PST

I mis him.

I miss him so.
Posted by ayla on Thu, 29 Jun 2006 07:59:00 PST

Confessions from Newport - "That might be Venus..." ~ "You might be Venus..."

(Here's to betting on the safe side that he never, ever reads this)   I swam in the ocean today. Man, am I crazy. My breathing's still a little sharp. I love my teddy bear and I don't care where ...
Posted by ayla on Mon, 03 Apr 2006 05:36:00 PST

I'm...heartbroken.

Heartbroken.
Posted by ayla on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST