We went from high school to high class to higher than highnesses
Don't take this all too serious
Im Neave. A homeless man once told me I am very interesting. I made him say that. 3.50$ is all it took.
My dad is Iranian. My mom was Russian.
I left myself a drunken voice mail message once.
It has been one the best self discovery methods I have ever experienced
I rather get stabbed in the eye than to lie about something to impress you.
I hate when a motorcycle rolls by and it sounds like a fucking riot of angry animals.
Raves are soo 1997
Drugs are for the boring folk.
If you think people who get a lot of comments from the opposite sex, sleep with all of them, you are mentally challenged.
I am sarcastic.
I have fun with me.
I am amazing at opening jars.
I like baby carrots and ranch.
I could probably drink ranch instead of water.
Ranch smoothie?
Hell, maybe I'll one day buy a ranch.
I put ranch on my ranch
Ranch markets are yay.
What does it mean for something to be yay? hmm.
Yoplait strawberry yogurts are yay.
Asian girls with platinum blond hair = what the fuck
Asian girls with contacts = you aint foolin no one
A Road raging son of a bitch
It makes me happy when I see a car full of Mexicans who have overloaded the car with their existence.
Get creative, come original
Beer gets me drunk faster than shots of Tequila. Weird.
If you say stupid things around me you will get called out.
If you have a low I.Q hanging out with me and my friends would not be good times...for you.
I am pretty easy to entertain yet I get bored of people easily.
I ask a lot of questions. I like hearing peoples stories. Good stories though. I don't care about your pregnant cat that has an eating disorder.
I was born to be a skinny white DJ dude named DJ Shitmypayants who collects dunks....I don't know what the fuck happened.
I give good hugs. If there was an event like the Oscars but for hugging, I would definitely be nominated. twice.
I don't like Basketball. I wouldn't mind going to a game though.
I am good at talking like a redneck.
I am also good at murdering sentences when I get excited. Takes me a couple of tries sometimes.
Person selling movie ticket:Thank you sir, enjoy your movie....
Me:Thanks!! You too!!!
I am the guy who does that. Who cares. Psh.
Famima!!is the shit
I cuss. I pick some gnarly cuss words
I hate the word gnarly.
I read Maxim for the random stories and facts.
I impress you at the bar with Maxim random fax.
Echo friendly cars are like Vegans hanging out with you on Thanksgiving dinner. It sucks balls.
I drum along to songs in my car like I'm the drummer for Avenged Sevenfold or something
I like hotels and motels because i don't have to make my bed.
I pretty much turn into a Filipino break dancer in my sleep...Everything is wrapped into each other, and my pillows go missing...That's why I hate making my bed in the morning.
As long as I am laughing, its all good.
I fucking hate gas from Arco. It's watered down and shitty. Makes my car go slow.
I become such a bitch when I am hungry. It's pretty bad.
I don't like when the costumer service person does not speak proper English
getting a table, and bottle services are just dumb. Though I'm all for it if someone else gets it and invites me.
I am into legs. Go show off your boobs to old truckers on the 210 freeway.
I am going to make it big
I lie about my penis size to midgets. That passes as charity work
That makes me feel like I did something nice pretty much....
I like staring at those really huge TVs at Best Buy. They are so huge for no reason. Everyone looks fat and shitty in it. Victoria Secret models? Forget it, they look like Rosie O'Donnell
I hate my alarm clock and how it sounds, it sounds like a riot in Africa; where theres one bag of rice and 37 thousand hungry people yelling. Its the only thing that wakes me up.
Its pretty hard to get me to say what you would like to hear.
I get excited when I see people I haven't seen or talked to in awhile.
I would like to Ghost Ride The Whip one day. Join me?
I love watching old people pull out of a parking space. It's like watching the Discovery Channel. HD!
I Don't do dates. People put up a front on dates. I hang out.
A miniature pony and a midget friend is on my top "To Get" list.
I am actually a pretty nice person deep down, you just have to give it a chance, and not fuck around. This isn't your aunts house. That makes sense to the ethnic people of the Persian land.
I have a lot to say.
I think boring people bore me.
People on roller blades make me feel uneasy.
Jumba Juice is pretty cool. The workers have to do crack or something. They are too happy to be in a fruityland place.
I have an expensive taste, at the same time I don't.
It is hard for me to become interested in someone.
I get really hyper during a long drive. I guess that is when you know I am going to go crazy
My car is black.It gets dirty fast.It's fucking annoying
I like tattoos but I don't have any. I will though pretty soon.
The word Latte pisses me off.
I will have my own radio or TV show.
My name rhymes with Leave.
I hate low pressure showers. They make me feel like as if a hired Iraqi dude is peeing on me....
whatever
I don't like it when people smell like soap
I am picky with girls perfumes. I like 3 of them and the rest make me gag. So...stay away if you suck at smelling good.
I don't go to wal-mart before midnight. Late night wal-mart trips make me happy
Give people good hugs. Don't stick your ass out. Or use one shoulder. Bitch.
Hooka is alright I guess.
High fives are rad.
You've gots to spend some of your own time to know me.
Neave 102
(For the advanced level)
Its nice to meet you.
special agent Neave.
The government thinks of me as a 30 million dollar human weapon, I like to think of myself as a somebody who likes to throw a party... a party of pure death
I was born and trained in a spinning underwater room with a gravity of a hundred saturns.
I can jump 60ft into the air, punch through walls. Needles to say, it is a huge risk to make love to me, but women still do it.
I can kill a dog in 6 ways, 5 of them are throwing missiles at it.
I can speak fluently in over one language, poorly in another, and almost none in the 4th.
Salam. Man Chelo Kabab Hastam. Befarma Too, Chayi Bade.
Mon nom est neave. Mon cheese est rouge
Shhhh.....Mi casa es su coche.
Anyway.
I'm trained in over 85 fighting techniques. Including Karate, Boxing, Kick boxing, claw, disappointing make out session, and of course, drunk racist distractioning...
"hick!"
"did he say something racist?!"
BAM!!!
Yea, that's right. That's how I get politically correct.
They say "That's not appropriate!"
BAM AGAIN!
I just stole your face.
I've gone on missions that are more secretive than someone having a crush on their best friend for 10 years and never telling them!
My name is:
Special Agent Ass Kick
"Hey, uh, do you have the time? do you know what time it is?"
-Oh who wants to know?
Special Agent You're Fucking Dead.
"Hey do you where around here they sell Silk, you know the gay soy milk?"
-Oh who wants to know'? oh i don't know? How about, Special Agent You're gonna get your face kicked in by my fucking super awesome fists.
"hey I'm sorry to bother you but do you know where the closest A-Train is?"
-Who wants to know? oh I don't know, maybe Special Agent I'm going to kick you so hard in the dick you're gonna cum fear.
Je suis, le Coup de pied d'Agent Spécial Votre Visage de Mamans
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