FROM THE SEA

www.spencervanderzee.blogspot.comif i could, i would change my last name so that it started with two "a"s (like aardvark), so that i would always be first for role call. then i'd go back in time (in a time machine) to first grade, and start basking in the glory, ultimately growing up with a higher self-esteem and sense-of-purpose. however, arriving in first grade and realizing that i had gone back to a time that existed before i had legally changed my name (in the future-present), i was faced with the realization that i existed only as my past-self, in the past-present, and existed only as my future- self, in the future-present, and that i had essentially reduced my worldly presence to two isolated time-space vortexes, effectively leaving no point of cognition for my purported frame-of-mind. i still exist somewhere, though unsure of my name or purpose and completely unaware of my own body.