Johnny Ryan Von Otter of the McNuggets

I am the boy walking down the street with a swagger in his step and a bandanna around his neck. Boston by way of Jersey.. (shut up). I battle the evil minions of Ivalice for fun and create intimate environments for women to shop and discover for a living.. Prints and Pattern died with Cuba.. time to roll out the UNISEX! Do you know how to crack an egg over a bowl with one hand? I do. I used to be afraid of flying, now I'm just afraid of flying sober. I put bologna in my left pocket. I am young, strong, but more than that. I like big three wicked candles. I am fortunate enough to be raised amongst catalogs. I'm a green. I'd rather take a midnight train than a 45 minute flight. I AM the social chair. I rock the laborador. Beards and bandannas. I think everyone should know how to do the following THREE things: drive a manual car, type without looking at the keyboard, and use chopsticks. Pelicans are the drunken pirates of the animal kingdom. I've moonlighted as a piglet, bumblebee, cub and otter. The only thing sexier than a newly woken boy is a wet one. I like texting on my cell phone better than talking. I have late night dance parties with Pharell on a regular basis. I'd be an air bender. I prefer flip cup to beer pong. i have an extensive vocabulary and continually try to confuse people with ten dollar words. My paradise is getting lost in a tide pool. i justify wearing outrageously expensive jeans by pairing them with a ratty old tshirt. I love my family. Someday i will teach science to fifth graders. My jade plant has more personality than a lot of people i know. My hair dresser is my best friend in the world. There i said it.. so what about you?