Special K < Real K

I have decided to go back to the beginning....to the way i used to be, to the way i used to live....just living and living happy....for a while now i have been doing things and not doing things for people and not for myself and then i would beat myself up about it but a certain hurtful event helped me realize i dont need other people, friends are good yes but at the expense of them lying to me and talking behind my back i dont need that...now i'm not gonna go out and tell them to fuck off....i'm just gonna keep goin...thats why my hair is gone...but to the way it was before all the drama that almost messed up my life...the certain event was that there was this girl i cared alot about....and well i thought she did too...maybe she still does but apparently she is gettin married....not sure when or if it will even happen but that one event crushed me like nothing has....alot of my heart was into thinking that maybe we could become more..it hurts when u want so much to be with a person and they make you believe the same thing and then somethin this happens...how do u handle somethin like that....i didnt know what to do for a while it was hard for me to even fake being happy...just sorta stopped caring about everything....but somethin happened and i realized that she is missing out...maybe that guy gives her somethin i didnt or couldnt but i know it wasnt anything wrong with me now...............and to that certain girl all i have to say is i'm happy you found someone for you and i will always have love for you.......i know how good a person i am, i know how good a friend or boyfriend i am so i shook off the depression and everythin and now its about me....i realize i need to get stronger in everything mind, body and spirit....i mean i'm even doing good in college....yea its community college but atleast i know i'm not that stupid....now i'm not sayin i'm gonna go out and start praying to god and preaching to people but i'm not gonna beat myself up anymore or feel bad about the people that lose my friendship because in reality they are losing a whole lot more than i am....this whole thing just made me wake up and remember how i used to be and so i'm goin back to that way...i'm not gonna let people put me down or try to hurt me....hopefully i will be able to find a place to be real for once....but i just realized its time to wake up and stop being afraid of everything....its my life and i decide what i do with it, with my money, with everything i possess and i imagine myself getting stronger this year a whole lot stronger than i think i can...just wanted to let the real people i love and love me in return know that everything is good now....... MyGen Profile Generator