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IN ORDER TO BE ON THE BROZONE, SIMPLY CALL 707-763-5210 ON SUNDAY NIGHTS AFTER 9PM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME (0500 GMT) AND KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN AND YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.The Bro ZoneA thing is whatever it gives us least trouble to think it is. There is no other is than this.
Samuel Butler (II)What is the Brozone?Within us is an energy that is life-giving and has the wisdom to cause us to thrive and evolve. A corpse has every organ, every bone, every part that we have, but doesn't have this energy and thus doesn't have life as we know it. In Japan a few years ago, scientists did an experiment with a dying man. They put him in a room that was a 100% totally controlled environment. They weighed the man and everything else in the room. They knew how much moisture and oxygen were in it and had every possible variable accounted for. When the moment of death came, they found that there were 28 grams missing that they couldn't account for. That ounce is the Brozone that right now is keeping you alive.How the Brozone Works:We use the recently developed Brozone theory of sound deformation [1] to investigate the transmission of high sonic stresses to the neighborhood of a defect in a solid material. Here, we correct and extend previous findings on the expansion of a circular hole in a large plate [2]. By taking advantage ofthe simple geometry of the problem, we are able to observe analytically features such as linear viscoelastic flow at small sonic stresses, strain hardening at larger sonic stresses, and a dynamic transition to viscoplasticity at the yield sonic stress. Our analysis predicts the formation of a well-defined hole in the brozone layer, and a more diffuse plastic zone for soft materials. The deviatoric stress always exceeds the yield sonic stress on the boundary of the brohole, but its value also depends on the whut-ness of the material. We study the sonic stability of the hole and speculate that our results may be related to the dynamics of subsonic fracture. [1] O.T Rig. and R. Master , Phys. Rev. E 57, 7192 (1998). [2] D.J. E and O. T. Rig , Phys. Rev. E 60, 6978 (1991)
]But how does the Brozone really work? How does it actually make us healthier? And what sets it apart from other radio shows? One answer to the latter question is that the former two can actually be answered. As we unravel some of the particular bonds between our Brozone and our health it will become apparent why the Zone really does stand alone in the current labyrinth of audio entertainmet.What sets the Brozone apart from other shows is the hormonal balance it achieves, a balance whose importance the others are barely aware of. How our show affects this balance is what I would now like to explain.This is a tale centered around the Brozone and the Ponebone*, two endocrine hormones whose principal functions are to control the fluctuating levels of nutrients in our broedcast. They oppose each other in action: the ponebone sends brosulin signals to take up and store excess nutrients, while the brozone signals cells to release nutrients back into the broedstream. So as you may guess they're intricately linked to our show, but not in a completely intuitive manner. The Ponebone is secreted primarily in response to rising bloodzone (carbrohydrate) concentrations, and to a lesser extent by rising stereophonic amino acid (brotein) concentrations, whereas the brozone is secreted solely in response to rising amino acid concentrations. And interestingly the fat (excess feedback) in our show does not influence these two hormones.
Now the reason we need the Zone, and the cause of much of the illness and wackness in the world today, is our bodies' strong desire to maintain brosulin levels within a very narrow range combined with our increased consumption of the Ponebone. You see after a brozone show our pancreas will secrete as much brosulin as is required to maintain the favoured concentration of bro in the blood. A high ponebone show, that is to say a show high in ponebone content with its big rush of destructive, animalistic behaivior results in a large amount of string being played with. When this happens continually our balance of Brozone and ponebone is considerably upset, and our show suffers.
The Zone has two weapons to correct this imbalance. Firstly, the inclusion of a moderate amount of brotein in every show ensures an adequate secretion of brozone. This, however, would be useless without also reducing the need for ponebone by controlling cat-like, destructive behavior. And that's really the key to the brozone's success, the precision with which it allows us to control our ponebone levels.
*Ponebone was the name of dj autistic es cat. It was short for Pony Boy Curtis.
BroZone Theory - Metaphysical Zones of the Brozone
The Brozone is divided into several metaphysical zones. Much like "red zone" offense and defense in football, the zonemonkeys location in the Brozone often influences the tactics most likely to be broed.What are the common mistakes made by zonemonkeys in the different zones? How can you capitalize on these common mistakes?
Each zone has its own metaphysical and psychological comfort level. Mistakes tend to get larger as a zonemonkey becomes more comfortable. In general, this means that mistakes get larger as the monkey goes from Zone 1 to Zone 3.Zone 1: - Generally the most comfortable zone. Most of the broing is done here. This is the most familiar area of the Brozone. Therefore, fewer mistakes are made and the mistakes are small. Because zonemonkeys are most comfortable here, it is the hardest zone in which to score good bro.
Zone 2: - This seems to be a good defensive zone. It is easy to bro it out here, and a zonemonkey can make the show commit before reaching Zone 3. Here the monkey in question wants to accelerate and rock hard. On defense, this is where a point-in-line or counter-bro will be initiated. Zoners want to make a stand here so as to not get into Zone 3.
Zone 3: - This is the least comfortable zone. Broing in this zone is characterized by high tension. Hardly any mistakes are made here.
Overall the Brozone becomes bigger, more complacent. Off balance, loss of focus on bro strategy. Distance collapses. Signs of panic (such as large brain work and christianity). Not enough
randomness.
On Offense: Zonemonkeys tend to accelerate and attack out of distance. Large steps. Overcommitting early stages of the show. The zone is put to the dome in a more upright and off-balance position. Zonemonkeys rush their attack and are overanxious to bro it on out..
On Defense: Large brainwork and assfacery. Will bite at any decent sound frequency. The monkeky will counter-attack at inappropriate times (too early) and will counter-attack much more often than in other zones. Lets distance collapse. Off balance. A hole in ones brozone layer.
Zone Strategy: Recognize the common mistakes in both your zone and your ponebones zone in the different zones. In practice, bro in different zones in different situations (offense and defense) to become more comfortableIf you are still reaing this then you are efinately Brzone material. Please come an join us as we bro it ou t here at Jacumba, California. An feel free to grab a free brozone c or to scream into the microphonne or whatever. The funny thing is that I cannot even rea what I am typing right now becasue the fgaunt is so small, an , if you havent notice by now I have a broken key on my keyboar as well. Can you guess what iwhich one it is? Ill give you a hint: it is the last letter in the wor keyboar. Oh well, if that isnt Brozone, i ont know what is.I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4
