Hayden

There once was an extraordinary man, standing in a pool filled with sweet vinegar. He was not extraordinary in the conventional sense of being superior; rather being more ordinary than the conventional male. This, in turn, made him extraordinary.
He had never known fear, sorrow or pain in his simple life: stationed within the vinegar. It protected him from the worst of the world, and he was grateful.Unfortunately, his life was consumed by the saccharine smell 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This meant he could never leave his post to mingle with the rest of the world.
When does he sleep you ask? He doesn’t. This unique brand of vinegar – reserved for only the king of kings – induced a sense of well being so magical, so divine that the smallest sample injected through the navel cavity would keep the man awake indefinitely.
Little did the extraordinary man know that behind the hexagon shaped billiard table in the corner of his workshop, was the face of purest dignity. (This face was actually an impostor – a creature from the deviant quadrant. But the man did not know this).
The creature crashed his talons into the ground, alerting the man to his presence. While this shallow view did alarm, shock and petrify the man, his mind was soon put to ease by the warming superficial glow created by the impostor. The man stood still, gazing into the creature’s eyes. The man let the warm glow of safety and reassurances fill him to the brim.
Suddenly, a vivid and vile sensation of vindictiveness overcame the man as he realised he was unable to lift his longest legs from the uniquely sweet vinegar. This sensation doubled as he visaged the same for every other part of his common body. His mouth, his eyelids, his scalp, the calluses within the substructure of his left and right feet were all as rigid as a romantic pair of socks stiffened by a windless night.
“Oh Golly,” the man thought. “What does this proper and percaline creature want with me?”
The creature cocked its head sideways and thought, “I originally just wanted this uniquely sweet batch of vinegar, but after that ‘percaline’ crack I’m going to make sure you never stand in vinegar again!”
The man responded in thought,“Telepathy is a cheap shot sir, but two can play that game.”
The two spoke to one another directly to each other’s minds without speaking, writing, signing or text messaging until they came to agreement. “Daytime television is the greatest invention since sliced bread corns,” thought the man. “I’m glad we can agree on that.”
With newly found common ground, the creature left the man to forever bask in uniquely sweet vinegar as a living statue emersed in ‘Days Of Our Lives’.
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