Dirk Redwood

I am Dirk Redwood, enigmatic styrofoam wonderchild. I live in my guitar case, my guitar is now out in the rain. I make independant films on beta. My goal in life is to obtain a chocolate weather vane (as opposed to the marzipan vane I now own). I am not donating my organs, but plan to have a garage sale. I believe telephones can feel pain, and therefore sending electical pulses into them to make them "scream" is cruel. As an athiest, I believe in spontaneous human combustion, but am unsure why; other than that I enjoy table tennis, like everyone else.