fading_sunset profile picture

fading_sunset

I never meant to be so cold...

About Me

What to say, what to say... Well, I am not anything special... Who knows what my friends would say, but I'm basically a semi-normal teenage girl, filled with angst and hatred. I'm clinically diagnosed as depressed, but I have my good days... I'm fighting a losing battle with anorexia, due in part to wrestling, but mostly because I hate myself and enjoy the extra punishment of starvation. That's about it really... sad isn't it?
People that hurt you aren't worth your time. The truth never hurts as much as a lie will. Learn to be honest.

My Interests

I'm registered at JC PENNY for my graduation. Listed on it are item I'll need for my apartment when I move... Thanks!
ana/mia... sports... the wonderful world of erika. if you dont know it, lucky you, you got off easy.
im addicted to rough sex. this can be wonderful, but only if someone is willing to do that for me. i like to be used... to be hurt... to lose all control. if that's interesting in any way, feel free to contact me. or not. whatever.
it seems that i only fall for people that don't give a shit.
i am ana. I am worth $2,117,104 on HumanForSale.com

I'd like to meet:

Myself when I was 13 to warn myself of all the heartache to come, maybe I could have avoided it. I'd like to meet someone that accepts me for who I am... but I can't even do that. I'm fine with simply hating my miserable existence.

I'd like to meet someone who gives a damn about someone other than themselves. I've gone through life caring about everyone else. It never mattered what I wanted, what I deserved. I gave everything I had to everyone else. Last year I changed that and people couldn't handle it. What, ERIKA? CHANGE? I never change. That will probably be the last time for a long time. I lost someone I cared deeply for, someone I thought that I would be in love with forever. I've lost a lot of meaning. I've lost myself.

But I don't need to get any of it back.

Music:

I'm special when it comes to music... I'll listen to everything from Yo Yo Ma to Hatebreed, Dillinger Escape Plan to the Newsboys. some favorites... silverstein, bloodsimple, napalm death, kottonmouth kings, a perfect circle, evanescence, and... CKY.

Movies:

Goldfinger - the best bond ever...
XXX. (not only the porn)
Nightmares Before Christmas.
Donnie Darko.
movies that dont make you think, or even pay attention.
i like not watching movies...
THE LONGEST YARD! even though i was too giddy to really remember to watch the screen...

Television:

House
E.R.
The Simpsons
X-Files
Family Guy
basically anything that runs on the sci-fi channel... SG1, Atlantis... yep...

Books:

I'd like to say that I don't read, but that would be a lie. I LOVE Laurell K. Hamilton books, especially Narcissus In Chains... just the name gives me chills... I love reading about werewolves and vampires, love, sex, creepy-crawlies... Hamilton ties them all into a great series called the Anita Blake series. Fantastic books. 7 on the Erika scale of 1-5.

Heroes:

♥ The people who've changed my life, for better or for worse. ♥

Jonathan Downing... like it or not. I'm more for having had you in my life.
Dan Kelly
Jamal Porter
Mike Tuttle
Kevin Duquette
Jay Costanzo
Josh Slish

IconoCatalyst: I noticed I am not on your myspace influential people, aren't you forgetting that I taught you how to walk?
How could I forget? EVAN CURTIS!

Ashley Oliver
Angela Kelly
Kristie Dangerfield
Kate Dzikas
Rebecca Finelli

More often than not, I hate these people. They've changed my life so drastically that I can never be the same.

But that is why they mean the world to me.

My Blog

11 Amazing Months

Thus ends the 11 month mark of this truly wonderful relationship. Joshua Slish - I love you more than I ever thought possible. No stupid blog will ever express that... but you know.You're the only fri...
Posted by fading_sunset on Mon, 18 Sep 2006 09:06:00 PST

so yeah...

yesterday was a bad day 11 more cortizone/prolotherapy combination injections. 9 in my ribs and 2 in my right hip. if josh hadn't been there with me... i may have killed the doctor, it hurt so much. ...
Posted by fading_sunset on Wed, 01 Feb 2006 12:30:00 PST

Awakening...

Ignore the fragmentation, this happened last night and I was& just wowed.   2 years ago or so, 10th grade. Danny and I had broken up recently. I had a dream where I was on the floor in front ...
Posted by fading_sunset on Mon, 05 Dec 2005 05:49:00 PST

no friggen way

yeah, im a thief. no, i didnt take your money. i dont take money. especially not from friends. but i guess we aren't friends. couldn't have seen that coming. in 4 years i've never stolen from you....
Posted by fading_sunset on Mon, 05 Dec 2005 04:31:00 PST

wow i hurt

just got home from my first set of injections. 13 shots of 40ml of cortisone. All in my left rib cage. I'm going to be in some major pain when the initial numbness wears off in about half an hour. ow...
Posted by fading_sunset on Wed, 23 Nov 2005 09:47:00 PST

stolen survey thing

Time started: 8:30pm Full Name: Erika Anne Calabro Single or Taken: Taken Sex: Female Birthday: 11 April 1988 Siblings: 2, Chris is 19 and Sebastian is 3 Eye color: grey blue Shoe size: 8.5 H...
Posted by fading_sunset on Wed, 23 Nov 2005 08:55:00 PST

fucked up world

spent 2 hours with a new doctor today. dr wilmot in albany. i literally cried as he found my tender points. the ones on my chest were marked... 16 on just my left side. over 20 on my back, 2 on the ...
Posted by fading_sunset on Fri, 11 Nov 2005 01:25:00 PST

random 99 questions

1. What time is it? 8:28pm EST 2. Name: Erika 3. Nickname(if any) none that Im willing to share 4. If you were a skittle: red 5. Single or taken?:  taken 6. zodiac: aries 7. Hair color: n...
Posted by fading_sunset on Mon, 07 Nov 2005 06:51:00 PST

convo that i felt needed posting

[22:34] perdylildumdum: ttyl [22:34] *** Auto-response sent to perdylildumdum: it was a great night until my father was mentioned. guess what, the fibromyalgia is my own fault...   in better new...
Posted by fading_sunset on Sat, 05 Nov 2005 08:31:00 PST

So.

I'm alive. our souls they speak of something more, but we cant look beyond ourselves. we implore empty skies because our hearts hold room for no one else. Sólo en tu calor Me acurruco ...
Posted by fading_sunset on Tue, 25 Oct 2005 08:14:00 PST