The Bottled Water Debacle |
So check it. Apparently, water never goes bad. Buy you a 32 pack of Arrowheads from Costco, drink half of one of the bottles, then leave the remaining amount of water in the bottle in the backseat o...
Posted by Patrick on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:35:00 PST |
This Blog Has Been Brought To You By AT&T |
This Blog Has Been Brought To You By AT&TMan, zero used to have it good. "Used to" being the key words.These days, when you call a customer service or technical help or general line to talk to/compla...
Posted by Patrick on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 09:09:00 PST |
That Smell (A True Story) |
It was a virtual hostage situation. Me, cornered in my car without an escape plan. An unnamed person sitting next to me, his shirt wrinkled like scrotum, with a breath so foul, it makes unflushed B-...
Posted by Patrick on Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:18:00 PST |
Crying, Turd-Burglers, Universal Hand Motions Etc.. |
Crying works.Let's face it. If you've ever tried to break up with someone (for the first time) and they've started bawling -- sometimes you've backed off on your decision. If you've ever been faced ...
Posted by Patrick on Tue, 21 Aug 2007 03:01:00 PST |
She Bangs! (I Shit You Not) |
You may or may not remember the time(s) when I got a really really bad haircut and I called into work because I looked like a really awful lesbian.(example: )And despite the fact that such a story bel...
Posted by Patrick on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 12:07:00 PST |
Keep Dreaming. |
Chivalry is officially dead.That's because while chivalry was still alive (thanks to me) and I went around opening doors for old folks, people with walkers, possible neighbors carrying boxes with both...
Posted by Patrick on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 10:15:00 PST |
When Employee Health Loses Your Inoculation Records/ DVD Shopping With Mother Love |
If you've ever gotten a shot from a nurse, then you've also probably experienced the most annoying, non comforting thing ever.It's that moment when you've sat down, the nurse has prepared your arm wit...
Posted by Patrick on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 10:23:00 PST |
My New Fear |
I fear the cushiony ball.I guess I'll have to come clean and tell you that I am not a good basketball player. I was never a fan of running up and down a basketball court, I was always travelling with...
Posted by Patrick on Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:10:00 PST |
An Open Letter To You, China Gate Bartender. (The Cheap Vodka Entry) |
An Open Letter To You, China Gate Bartender. (The Cheap Vodka Entry)Look, Mimi Miyagi. It's time to face the facts.You are the bartender, lady. -- and that means one very important thing. No, it doe...
Posted by Patrick on Mon, 18 Jun 2007 08:00:00 PST |
I Am Hesitant About Bogus Phony Non Brand Name Yogurt. |
I Am Hesitant About Bogus Phony Non Brand Name Yogurt.Do you like yogurt?Do you enjoy the thick and cool feeling it creates on your tongue as you shove a spoon of the stuff in your mouth? Do you enjo...
Posted by Patrick on Fri, 15 Jun 2007 12:29:00 PST |
