A Recent Conversation With My Mother |
Mom: You remember Jeff Tanner?Me: No.Mom: You don't remember Jeff Tanner?Me: No.Mom: You remember him! He's Mike Tanner's older brother.Me: Don't remember Jeff, don't remember Mike, for that ma...
Posted by on Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:58:00 GMT |
The List |
In honor of the DVD release of The Bucket List, now available in your video stores, I've decided to compose my own list -- The Fuck-it List. As opposed to The Bucket List, which are things you want t...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:41:00 GMT |
More quotes from Mom... |
While discussing the upcoming birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's baby, Shiloh:Me: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie... That is going to be the best looking baby ever!Mom: Oh, it doesn't always work th...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 16:52:00 GMT |
Okay, heres a question... |
Okay, here's a question...Do all mentally retarded people KNOW they're mentally retarded? And, if not, is there a chance that I'M seriously mentally retarded and everyone's just being nice to me? Th...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 10:40:00 GMT |
Great new diet! |
In my struggle to lose weight, I've invented a new diet. You see, I find most of them too complicated. Read a book to go on a diet? That's two things I don't want to do. My diet, on the other hand...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:18:00 GMT |
Oh The Joy! |
"I just wanted to call and tell you that this is about the time you were born, so this was when I was at my most miserable..." -- My mother to me on my birthday.
Posted by on Sat, 01 Mar 2008 16:32:00 GMT |
It Takes All Kinds... |
"I was a close personal friend of Lew Wasserman's. But, that's neither here nor there... Right now, I have some monetary problems..." --The panhandler I met in Beverly Hills, who was then disappoint...
Posted by on Fri, 22 Feb 2008 23:14:00 GMT |
The big 45... |
As I near my 45th birthday I've come to realize that I am about to reach a pretty significant milestone. Not mid-life, but more importantly mid-diaper. Very soon I will be positioned as far from the...
Posted by on Thu, 21 Feb 2008 17:24:00 GMT |
What’s Worse? |
Okay, here's a question... What's worse? To be raped, or to be raped by someone who's bored?'Cause here's the thing... Say you're getting raped. Terrible, yes, of course. But, then, you sense him...
Posted by on Mon, 18 Feb 2008 14:54:00 GMT |
Having children... |
After spending the weekend in Chicago visiting some of my friends and their children, I have to say I feel more confident than ever of my decision not to have children. Not that children aren't great...
Posted by on Tue, 27 Feb 2007 00:19:00 GMT |
