the ladies love it profile picture

the ladies love it

watch me die another day

About Me

it was only quarter to one, on another normal humid saturday night in jersey, a man sits alone, although considered this by law at the age of 22, a man is not quite what he felt like. While still living with his parents and not being there for anyone, he let his responsibility fall straight to the floor. He was forced to give up most of his friends, while they spent they re time out at the bar he sat in self reflection. The mind numbing adventure he had carried out today is what others would just call work. The amount of imagination and creativity that goes into this one day through the mind of this man is more than some can dream. He doesn't know where he is going and this scares him. After spending almost 50 dollars on a keyboard his only plan for the night was to come home and go on the computer. Always slouched it seems that he sits, u can watch him correct this by arching his back and appearing completely erect, but still completely uncomfortable. His small white cat searches the room, pouncing on shadows and bouncing back and forth. This for some reason strangely reminds him of his childhood and a smile grows upon his face. Although never having worked a "real" job he had many that he had worked hard to establish a good name at. It seems his whole life he has struggled to establish his own reputation only to be put back in another place where he must rise to the occasion to prove once again what is inside him. How sick of this he has become. Telling people doesn't make them think anything of u either he knows. Besides the fact that u have a big mouth and a big ego. Never was he allowed to be boisterous or suffer conceit and now he spends time destroying himself to never be happy with what he has achieved. Although it sounds so good he wants to cry tears of joy despair and then just dissapear. He knows that much more awaits him in the life that he has not yet seen in the crystal ball he holds. His throat slightly sore, always looking for another ciggarette or other poison to fill this empty void in him. Whenever he looks past nicotine another noose awaits. The depression of not being high after being high, or the lack of socialization that it brings with strangers. The greatness of the alcohol that befriended him like a large knife in the back. Hiding his smile and his ideas all cooped up in his head. And others wonder why he studders when he gets excited about what hes talking about like its the first time he has tried to speak. He wonders where the quiet self he used to be has gone and why those nights lieing awake didn't seem to bother him like the ones do now. Never wanting always doing, is this what a life of partying has done to a young "man"...... File save, File save, he clicks away and adds and adds and maybe the list of imperfections will make him feel complete and allow sleep for this night or sending randoms a message of what he truly is, while cringing in the dark wondering how crazy this must all seem to someone who has never even seen him. He is lost again and glad he grew out his hair and wished he had a beard to match to hide from the world that has now become so cruel and unforgiving.And who is this man, well of course he is the protagonist of our story.. the man on a mission to better himself, trying not to go crazy, and winning the hearts of others while cutting off pieces of his own to hand out to the undeserving crowd. He just smiles and says i didn't really need it anyway. So lets start at the beginning while it might jump around like his mind often does it will all end up somewhere.
Your Five Factor Personality Profile
Extroversion:
You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.
Neuroticism:
You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything. The Five Factor Personality Test
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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

someone who is physically attractive, doesnt care about acting goofy or weird or saying what is exactly on their mind at that moment, someone creative and that likes to do different things but also doesnt get bored easily, is funny....will pick on me and know that i will pick on them back, even if my come backs are lame, haha is smart and has goals and i guess just likes me for me.....i cant be much else than myselfYou Are 76% New Jersey!

You are definitely Jersey. Well done, my friend. You are most likely from this great state, and you fit right in. Odds are, you love being Jersey!

How New Jersey Are You?

Music:

sublime, grateful dead, bush, my chemical romance, thursday, casket lottery, silverstein, new found glory, poison the well, mudvayne, system of a down, taproot, taking back sunday, SENSES FAIL, linkin park, INCUBUS, green day, limp bizkit, cake, deftones, slaves on dope, adema, korn, brand new, catch 22, less than jake, panic at the disco, nonpoint, jack johnson, the postal service

Movies:

donnie darko, butterfly effect, requiem for a dream, fight club, boondock saints, friday night lights and im always up for a good chick flick with the right woman haha

Television:

i watch shows on mtv all the time otherwise its just random flipping of the channels waiting for something interesting to come on my screen

Books:

i love books by chuck palahniuk the author of fight club, he makes stories that are just really distorted backed with a lot of interesting factual information and i've also been reading this philosophical book called Illusions.

My Blog

and u know this

oh ive walked out on myself once againi wasnt ready for this conversationeven though i knew it was coming a cross road aheadand i ll give up all my friendsand this girl walks toward mebut she doesnt w...
Posted by the ladies love it on Tue, 16 May 2006 11:08:00 PST

a lot of work

i can't get this picture out of my headi saw a devestating crash in my dreamthere was nothing left of her at alland before she died she looked at me and smiled for a second i was happythen completely&...
Posted by the ladies love it on Wed, 10 May 2006 09:17:00 PST

looking back on yesterday

Give me another pair of shoes i ll tread on until this life dissapears rock me hard with ur treatise of war the weather is starting to break im ready for the breakdown if u ll be close i woke up yeste...
Posted by the ladies love it on Sat, 06 May 2006 09:56:00 PST

blah

when i come home i want to see ur faceim sick of being tired and lonelyanother beer another outing never really cures the pain i want to charge out into the night looking for nothing but looking for e...
Posted by the ladies love it on Thu, 15 Sep 2005 09:21:00 PST

-

u know u dont exist why do u keep bothering when the phone keeps ringing its just another sign that i want to keep u waiting and not knowing what im thinking u seem like a fly u keep buzz...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

how do u know

why do i try im sick of putting effort into u dissapear from my life like everyone else has done before who needs more friends friends to stab u in the back make u feel like shit and try to...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

put it on me

u cant see me for what i am how can i ever be what people dont see no matter how hard i try i cant come across like i want to can u ever be pleased and why am i the one who is trying cant u...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

thanks

i just want to be drunk drunk and forgetful of my past the things ive done would u ever look at me the same i dont even know who i am sometimes why do i even try to be with u without control...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

nothing

feel how soft my skin is i just need someone to lie next to where are u on this lonely night if u were sitting right there would i be able to look into ur eyes or would i just turn away from...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

11

u may miss me now but u wont miss me later when u realize that i am just like everyone else u ll realize u can do better whats right for u now wont be right for u later we both compromise our...
Posted by the ladies love it on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST