I am employed by ddr to be his personal stalker.He pays me handsomly,which is just as well because i am handsome and extremely intelligent to boot.I have more friends than anyone ever in the world ever.I invented the English language but forgot how to spell.I go deep sea diving in puddles and somehow always end up dry.You may or may not see me because i blend into any surroundings at will (except kettles,i seem to have a problem with those only because there must be a design fault).I may let you be my friend,but that would practically be impossible as you are probably already my friend (see above).I don't like to namedrop,but Eric Clapton said that i was a better guitarist than he could dream of being then i went out to a club with Mick Jagger,Mick Hucknall,Shirley Crabtree,Jesus and Miles Davis AFTER he died.I could play trumpet but i thought that it would be a bad move as i would be the best trumpet player ever to grace this planet and all other trumpet players would be out of pocket and broke because i would have all their gigs.Therefore,you may catch me playing percussion every now and again,but with one arm tied behind my back to make it fair on the other percussionists.Thats all for now,Toodlepip.....Oh yeah,check all my top friends out because they all try to keep up with me,but never quite manage it apart from "Post Office" which has me involved in it,thus it's a bit to good to describe.Thats all for now,Toodlepip.
