Ostensible profile picture

Ostensible

So it goes.

About Me

I want to take back everything that I've broken..
You got lost for a while. You've been trying to find a smile. You got stood up, then you fell down. And when you needed, there was no one around. Love the previews and hate the movies. Scream at the screen, 'something move me!' before you start to fade away."
If nothing else, I am a writer.
I need a moment in a world where time is gone before we have the time to open our eyes.
I will never understand why we're so quick to hate one another.
Why we teach hatred and fear as a way to control what we do not understand.
Why do we kill people
who kill people to show people
that killing is wrong? Better yet, why we place ourselves in a box that confines our minds. Do we have such little confidence in ourselves?
Are we that afraid of our brilliance that we shy away from it?
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?"
-Nelson Mandela
We move so fast, yet we take no time to enjoy what's around us.
Our minds race, and we have to constantly sprint to catch up.

I shall never simply settle. Life is far too short to spend it being someone that I detest.
I enjoy the un-extraordinary. The flawed and imperfect, to me are the most beautiful of things. The charm that resonates through the simplicty wakes me up..
I have spent more time in my life falling out of love than finding out what I define love to be. Yet I cannot help but hold the people in my life in high regard.
They hold me down and I am constantly amazed with how brilliant they are, and am humbled to know them.
From this, you cannot begin to know me...this poetic and slightly neurotic piece is but a tiny part of what makes me who I am, it's what makes me human.
Examine your own flaws, and love them, that's what makes you human, it's what makes you beautiful..
Measure your life by the moments that take your breath away, not the labored breaths that you take.
"I'm a mess, I'm a wreck. I am perfect, and I have learned to accept all my problems and short comings, cause I am so visceral, yet deeply inept." ..but the bridges behind me are burning and smoking.

My Interests

♥
Music.
My heart, my love, my band...Note To: Self.
Rain, and long walks in it.
Hypothetical situations.
Spooning.
Mix tapes
Friends.
Laughing.
Photography.
Zombie movies.
Dusk.
Painting.
Writing music.
Writing anything.
Bad weather.
Grass.
Camping.
The L.
Stars.
Humanity.
Learning.
Campfires.
Conversation with good friends.
People watching.
Passion.
Museums.
Social equality.
Documentaries.
My guitar.
Daring escapes.
Walking.
Coffee.
Dawn.
Creating and recognizing beauty
Wonder.
Unfailing Belief.
Prayer.

I'd like to meet:

I've got some friends some that I hardly know...
The people that I already have, and those that I will.
Really, no one really cares enough, or will learn enough about me by reading this so for my pure enjoyment...things that make me happy.

I Carry Your Heart With Me
E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

...but we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world.

Music:

Music
Butch Walker. Marvelous 3. Imogen Heap. Alkaline Trio. Tsunami Bomb. Prosepect. LUDO. A Lesson in Learning. Tourmaline. Eisley. Svoy. Smashing Pumpkins. Tegan and Sara. Keane. Snow Patrol. Funeral for a Friend. Pretty Girls Make Graves. Jack's Mannequin. Green Day. The Donnas. Foo Fighters. The Hush Sound. Tracy Chapman. The White Stripes. Joe Wilson from Feeling Left Out. Dashboard Confessional. Muse. Boys Like Girls. All American Rejects. Jet. Guns N Roses. Badly Drawn Boy. Taking Back Sunday. Rise Against. Jimmy Eat World. Saves the Day. Ivory Wire. Veruca Salt. Radiohead. Sublime. Save Ferris. Ben Folds. Miles Davis. Bullet for my Valentine. Billy Talent. Wyclef Jean. The Dresden Dolls. Hole. The Smiths. Asian Kung-Fu Generation. The Ramones. Black Flag. The Clash. The Who. Anti-Flag. Bush. Flogging Molly. NOFX. The Casualties. At the Drive-in. Brand New. The Veronicas. Feeling Left Out. Finch. Death Cab for Cutie. The Postal Service. Bjork. Tori Amos. Pete Yorn. Damien Rice. Enya. Billie Holiday. Etta James. Gershwin. James Bianco. Cary Brothers. Frou Frou. Mozart. Plain White T's. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Bright Eyes. Queen. The Rolling Stones. Pearl Jam. My Chemical Romance. Daivd Bowie. Bob Marley. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.

Movies:

Movies
Crash. The Shawshank Redemption. Amelie. RENT. Anything Tim Burton or Johnny Depp. Godspell. Singing in the Rain. Casablanca. Anything with Fred Astaire. Pi. I Am Sam. Bowling for Columbine. Trainspotting. Fight Club. Requiem for a Dream. American Psycho. Four Brothers. Lord of War. Memiors of a Geisha. An Inconvenient Truth.

There are so many more..

Television:

T.V.
Conan, Family Guy, InuYasha, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and the Colbert Report.

Books:

Books
I collect books. All kinds...I love them. Dictionaries...Thesauruses...Catch 22. Anything by George Carlin. Anything by Nietzsche. Catcher in the Rye. Song of Solomon. Invisible Man. Modern Irish Poetry. The Nanny Diaries. Franny and Zooey. The Danish Girl. A Reporter's Life: Walter Cronkite. The Great Gatsby. Invisible Bones. Fences. Dubliners. American Theocracy : The Peril and Politics of Radical Religion, Oil, and Borrowed Money in the 21stCentury . The Good Fight. Angela’s Ashes. The Republic. Armed Madhouse. Night. Where the Wild Things Are. Good Reading. Dante's Inferno. All's Well That Ends Well. Poetry/Literature Anthologies. Slaughterhouse Five. 1984. Animal Farm. Harry Potter (all of them). The Chronicles of Narnia (all of them).

Heroes:

Heros
"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget."
-Arundhati Roy

The lost, but never the forgotten.

My Blog

Forget yesterday.

It has been entirely too long since my last concert. So I will remedy that by going to a show relatively soon.Also coming up:A nose piercing.A tattoo.A new job.A few songs.And a rockabilly summer.I wa...
Posted by Ostensible on Sat, 19 May 2007 09:48:00 PST

My, I want to be harpooned in the head face.

My jump drive was in a computer in the Tech Center, I left for a moment, came back and it was gone.All of my songs were on it. I am about as pissed as it gets.All of them..they were all on there. All ...
Posted by Ostensible on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 04:53:00 PST

It's Like I Really am the Cobra Commander

"Blog Control Center"I have never before noticed that. It makes me feel as if I am doing something spectacular when I post my blogs.It reminds me of David Bowie. Oh, David, you make my heart swell.Reg...
Posted by Ostensible on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 05:38:00 PST

I wish you were a stranger I could disengage

I have a client meeting tonight with the OPRF Day Nursery for PR. I am nervous.Essentially, thre are two agencies working to get their PR initiatives picked up the the Day Nursery. And while this is s...
Posted by Ostensible on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 01:57:00 PST

The beat in my head, it goes oh, oh-oh-oh.

I wrote it for my Magazine Writing class.I don't like it, but it felt good to write. The lighting was just soft enough to cover the grief in the room, and the room was just big enough to find an obscu...
Posted by Ostensible on Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:40:00 PST

I am too self deprecating not to be a writer

[On writers]"Because all of them are vulnerable and all of them are tense. They are driven by a compulsion to put some part of themselves on paper, and yet they don't just write what comes naturally. ...
Posted by Ostensible on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 10:15:00 PST

Tell me that everything is alright.

Sometimes I feel like I've lost who I used to be.I haven't decided if this is a bad thing, or simply growing up.Am I really growing up?
Posted by Ostensible on Mon, 11 Dec 2006 10:41:00 PST

Thanks.

It's nice to have sisters who you know will be there no matter what.I got this in an e-mail and I love it....
Posted by Ostensible on Fri, 08 Dec 2006 11:58:00 PST

Here we're nothing more than fools and whores with sad eyes.

I am a strange bird, I shall preface everything I say here with that statement....I have a list in my mind.A mental reminder to be creepy I think, but really just a mental list of people whom I find t...
Posted by Ostensible on Mon, 04 Dec 2006 04:47:00 PST

It was the roar of the crowd that gave me the heartache to sing.

"Our Lord, our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smi...
Posted by Ostensible on Sun, 29 Oct 2006 02:50:00 PST