j u l z

i dont care if you don't like me..but tell me to my face, fuck up and find the courage to confront me. dont hide behind lies and bitch behind my back. because i will find out; so whats the point of trying to hide it?.
so many people on here, say how they know exactly who they are. how they know exactly what they want, exactly how they feel. they have found the one person in the world that makes them happy. they have the best friends in the world.
well, i cant say that about myself.
im not strong, i dont know who i am. i am still searching for what i want to be. i do have amazing friends, and someone special.. but i know people go through stages and in a few months they will probably be sick of me and will move on to the next lame person that they will call their best friend.
in the last few months, my entire life has changed. this was one of the hardest things to deal with. i am not complaining here by the way. i am simply explaining some of the reasons why am am who i am.
it started when my parents divorced. i dont know why this came as such a surprise for me, because they had been fighting for years, and most of my childood memories are of hiding from them. but for some reason this did impact me alot.
then most of my friends started changing and leaving me. i guess thats how i found out who my real friends are.
they are the ones who have stood by me always.
i dont even know why i try to exlain myself on here.
maybe its because i need to see it for myself..
to try and figure things out.
I like what i like.. so accept it fukers.. I have no one to impress.
So grow up, get some class and then maybe I'll notice that you're alive.
This is me, Hate it, or Love it.
i hate everything about chistmas.
everything
i know its about jesus and celebrating his birth, but it always reminds me of when i was little.
the days where my whole family was together.
the days where i was happy.
now, i know i'll never get wat i really want for christmas, because nothing i want can truley make me as hapy as i was back then.
i hate how in every christmas movie, there is some miricle that gives the really needy people what they've always wanted. but the thing is.. i dont even know what i need to make me happy.
last year, i spent christmas alone. i ut up the tree by myself and wrapped all my presents. i sat home by myself and waited for my dad to get home, but work was more important.
that pretty much wrecked my christmas.
the thing about my family is that, the only people who i actually related to that i care about are my brothers, jarod and dean. knowing that they are there for me has pulled me through. well, except that they moved so far away.
i have kind of chosen my family. my friends. they are the only ones that matter to me. and my life wuld actually be better if my mum and dad, uncles and all just dissapeared.
thats my awful truth.Myspace Graphics
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