Another new reason I hate Myspace: There is no way to report offensive profiles and groups. My fake Facebook page for "Vagina McGinestein" was removed two times from Facebook, because apparently Irish Jews are offensive. But can a petition with nearly 500 names get rid of a Myspace group entitled, "Fuck the U.S. Troops?" No, it can't. I have personally sent several complaints concerning this group, as well as forwarded along the petition I received, and have yet to recieve no more than a list of FAQ's concerning groups and Myspace as a whole. If you're reading this, do me a favor and send your own complaint to Myspace concerning this group. The url for the group is: http://groups.myspace.com/fucktheUStroops
Or better yet, since nothing will be done about it, have at it with your own offensive groups. I've considered staring the "I inappropriately touch children, worship satan, smuggle condoms full of crack cocaine in my rectum, have several NAZI and KKK tattoos, eat deep-fried aborted fetuses, hide bodies under my floor boards, run Mexicans across the border, provide terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, and vote republican" group.
But here are the other reasons:
Why am I The Anti-Myspace? I'll tell you why. Not five minutes ago I had a wonderful explanation, but the stupid server didn't save the changes and so now I'm sitting here retyping what I can from memory. That's the new first reason I hate Myspace.
Secondly...
I once had a Myspace page that I primarily used to keep in touch with a really good friend. It was filled with private jokes and pictures of stupid stuff we did together. From that page, I began to realize that Myspace is the Mecca for the scary, soon-to-be-on-a-new-Dateline-special, I-still-live-in-my-parents'-basement people. I mean, to call Myspace a "freak parade" is an understatement. It was due to all of the creepy sexual advances from these types, and that director who found me on Myspace and offered me a career in porn, that I deleted that page and removed any indication of my identity from this website.
But the fact that Myspace has become the ultimate pedophile playground is not the only reason I dislike it so much. Do you know who owns Myspace? Nope, it's not that Tom guy. Not anymore. He sold the company to News Corp, owned by Rupert Murdoch. Every second you spend on Myspace is just more money that you spoon-feed him (maybe that's why the server crashes when I try to update my profile!). Congratulations, if you are reading this now, you are officially Rupert Murdoch's bitch.
And the user-customized designs aren't always a good thing. Most of the pages I've seen are so full of crazy, blinking gif images I'm surprised no one has gotten a seizure from them. And some of the html layouts you people come up with--SHEESH! Most of the time, the background pictures are too covered with text to actually make out the background picture, and the background pictures are too crazy to actually make out the text without highlighting it. It's enough to give a graphic designer a migrane. If you want to do layouts like this, fine it's your page, but you owe me some Advil.
But I still think that the worst mistake Myspace made, hands down, was allowing users to put songs on their profiles. I will be sitting on MY computer listening to MY music when I want to look someone up on Myspace and BAM!! AHH!! ATTACK OF THE ALL-AMERICAN REJECTS! I mean, some of you have some really shitty taste in music--MAH HUMPS! MAH HUMP MAH HUMP MAH HUMP! I keep thinking about it, and one of these days, I will put some Chumbawumba, Eifle 65, or even Los Del Rio (that's right, the Mackerena) on my profile. Just wait--keep tempting me with your Hips Don't Lie.
So why am I even on Myspace if I hate it so much? To keep in touch with people I care about and keep tabs on people I don't like (hint, if I have added you as a friend, you are in the former category). This is why I sincerely say:
"I hardly let you gaze upon my face
and you only know me as The Anti-Myspace 3"
