Big Jon, Etiquette Rex profile picture

Big Jon, Etiquette Rex

About Me

Oh yeah! I went and made another myspace that I could 'friend' bands on. Just to keep things neat. Check it out. It's pretty.
"Because you know, when the world misunderstands me,
Only you can make me feel alright."
Pope Big Jon XXII, The Joyful & Exuberant
Medium Male Humanoid (possibly monstrous)
2nd-level Cleric
Hit Dice : 2d8 + 4 (15 hp)
Initiative : -1
Speed : 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class : 13 (-1 Dex, +4 Natural Armor*) Touch 9, Flat-Footed 14
Base attack/Grapple : +1/+2
Attack : Slam +2 melee (1d8+1) or bite + 2 melee (1d6+1) or gore +2 melee (1d8+1) or chain belt +2 melee (2d4+1) or club +2 melee (1d6+1) or heavy mace +2 melee (1d8+1)
Full attack : Heavy mace +2 melee (1d8+1) and gore +2 melee (1d8+1) or Club +2 melee (1d6+1) and 2 slams +2 melee (1d8+1) or Chain belt +2 melee (2d4+1) and bite + 2 melee (1d6+1) or Gore +2 melee (1d8+1) and bite + 2 melee (1d6+1) and slam +2 melee (1d8+1)
Space/Reach : 5 ft. / 5 ft.
Special Attacks : Turn or Rebuke Undead, Smite Evil
Special Qualities : Scent*, Damage Reduction 5/Non-punk*, resistance to cold 3*, Aura of Fun*, Brew Potion, Divine Defense
Saves : Fort + 1, Ref -1, Will +5
Abilities : Str 13, Dex 9, Con 14, Int 15, Wis 13, Cha 15
Skills:
Balance [DEX] - 2
Bluff [CHA] - 2
†Concentration [CON] - 4
†Diplomacy [CHA] - 5
Gather Information [CHA] - 2
†Heal [WIS] - 2
Intimidate [CHA] - 8
Knowledge (Local) [INT] - 9
†Knowledge (Religion) [INT] - 7
†Knowledge (History) [INT] - 7
Knowledge (Geography) [INT] - 6
Listen [WIS] - 7
Perform (Act) [CHA] - 5
Perform (Comedy) [CHA] - 7
Perform (Dance) [CHA] - 3
Perform (Oratory) [CHA] - 7
†Profession (loremaster) [WIS] - 4
†Profession (bookkeper) [WIS] - 4
†Profession (punk) [WIS] - 7
†Profession (siege engineer) [WIS] - 3
Search [INT] - 3
Sense Motive [WIS] - 8
†Spellcraft [INT] - 3
Spot [WIS] - 4
Survival [WIS] - 1
Swim [STR] - 3
Tumble [DEX] - 2
(† = class skills)
Feats : Endurance, Diehard, Alertness, Toughness, Defend*, Collective Fury*, Exalted Smite*, Exalted Turning*, Nimbus of Light*, Stigmata*, Sacred Vow*, Vow of Absitnence*, Servant of the Heavens*
Environment : Urban (specifically Chicagoan)
Organization : Unique
Challenge Rating : 3
Treasure : Satisfaction of an Ogre well-killed
Alignment : Neutral Good
Advancement : By character class... and protein intake.
Level Adjustment : +2
(* = various feats and bonuses and such as a result of me being me)
0-level spells
‡Create Water
‡Guidance
‡Resistance
‡Virtue
-Mending
-Inflict Light Wounds
-Detect Poison
1st-level spells
‡Cause Fear
‡Divine Favor
‡Bless (Domain spell, Zeal)
-Detect Evil
-Endure Elements
-Entropic Shield
-Inflict Light Wounds
-Protection from Evil
-Sanctuary
-Shield of Faith
(‡ = favored spells)
Domains : Joy & Zeal
Brahma then cast off his third body and assumed a fourth
that was made of the energy emitted from his mind.
With these thoughts, human beings,
the thinking creatures, were created.
Then he discarded this body
and it became the moon.
To this day human beings love the moonlight
for dancing, singing, and making love.
- J.F. Bierlein , Parallel Myths "The Thoughts of Brahma"
To you, O Sun,
the people of Dorian Rhodes set up this bronze statue
reaching to Olympus when they had pacified the waves of war
and crowned their city with the spoils taken from the enemy.
Not only over the seas
but also on land did they kindle
the lovely torch of freedom.
**If ever I were a Colossus**
" Shield eaters and world leaders have many likes alik e" - Old Hyrulean Proverb

" If you can walk, you can dance.
If you can talk, you can sing. "
-Old Zimbabwean Proverb
And now, a message from our local communist skin band:
You've never had it so good,
the favourite phrase of those who've always had it better
You've never had so much, is the cry
of those who've always had much more,
MUCH MORE THAN YOU AND I!! "

-The Redskins "Bring It Down"


And the local oath:

In brightest day, In blackest night,
no evil shall escape our sight!
Let those who worship evil's might,
beware our power... GREEN LANTERN'S LIGHT!!!

-Hal Jordan's Green Lantern Oath,
one hell of an oath to live by...
This little website explains it all! A fun read!


You should create your own MySpace Layouts like me by using nUCLEArcENTURy .COM's MySpace Profile Editor !

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


-Godzilla
Are you fuckin' kidding me? I would love to meet this guy. I do believe he and I have a lot in common. Radiation. Gargantuan size. Cult following. And a penchant for senselessly beating monsters that wonder onto our Kaiju turf.

-Dr. Seuss
Speaking of senselessly beating monsters, this here guy taught me the value of imagination. And spoke volumes to generations in the most innocent way possible. Subversion ftw!

-A girl whose hand I'll take and we'll make it I swear as we sing "Livin' On A Prayer" in the middle of a restaurant. Hey... waitaminute...

-Uncle Joe (Joe Strummer)
Here, he's been dead for... goin' on 6 years. And I still hope to God that I can meet him. How does that work?

-Carmen Sandiego
First things first... where in the world is she ?

-Count Orlock, the Nosferatu
I do believe that my pale-skinned extroversion and charm would complement his pale-skinned awkwardness, vampirism, and rat-like features very nicely. Our next ally? Sunscreen.

-Kathleen Hannah
Why would I want to meet her? Why wouldn't I? Too many reasons to list. Ask me in person. Let's start with the mind, the fury, the lyrics, THE VOICE, & the glare.

-The Wizard, Merlyn
Dag, yo. Don't even play me like that. This guy. THIS GUY! An alchemist. A sorceror. A scientist. All rolled into one. If he can mentor one of the greatest kings in both fictional and non-fictional history... then I can learn just a bit from him. Oh! And you just know he's fun. ^_^

-Albert Einstein
Merlyn's modern real-life equivalent. Except he calls sorcery 'science'. What a goofy name. Plus, I would like him to explain that whole complex, enlightened worldview. Crazy greatest mind of the 20th century.

-John Henry "Doc" Holliday
Now... him. I would like to know, personally, the man behind the legend. Gentleman? Gunfighter? Outlaw? Gambler? DENTIST??? Was he so charismatic? Or was Val Kilmer just too sexy?

-AND JESUS! So I could ask him what he really meant...

-And probably you as well. Yes, YOU!

My Blog

Big Jons New York Odyssey! And a Hallowmas adventure!!

Big Jon's New York Odyssey! And a Hallowmas adventure!!This is going to be a long story. I recommend you just take it into consideration in terms of chapters. So then if you wish to comment on somethi...
Posted by on Fri, 07 Nov 2008 00:11:00 GMT

And this, is one of the most inspiring things ever...

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9508850 3&ps=cprs Just read it. It'll take 5 minutes.
Posted by on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:55:00 GMT

World Infernos, Heartwarming Happenings, & Anarcho-Minstrels!!

The Chronological Adventures of Big Jon of Cimerria, by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Vol. 4 or, Anarcho-Minstrels come in many forms, in many places The 26th, a Friday in September. Ba de ya, say do you re...
Posted by on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:50:00 GMT

This one may be rather urgent... and a rollercoaster...

Okay, gang! These past few months have been... interesting. The past few weeks have been... eventful? These past few days... have been... not really difficult... but trying. I would say difficult, bu...
Posted by on Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:47:00 GMT

An epiphany beneath the stars... on the 4th of July!

Okay. Yes. I have been busy one way or another since July 4th. Otherwise, I would have posted this much earlier. Flash back to July 4th, the other side of Lake Michigan. I was in St. Joseph with Pip...
Posted by on Mon, 21 Jul 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Some notes on bicycles jaunts. And words on Bigotry!

A few weeks back... I'll say two... I attended the Hellfire Club's full moon bicycle jaunt! Fun times! I got to see oodles of people I have not seen in far too long:JESS!!! (I LOVE JESS!! SHE IS SO AW...
Posted by on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:05:00 GMT

AND NOW... SOME NOTES ON GAY MARRIAGE...

Ok. Ok. That pride parade was over the weekend. People proud of being in defiance of God's sacred laws. Lakes of hellfire for all those in attendance. Cunnilangus Rice! With your ching-chong, and your...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:12:00 GMT

The Adventures of Big Jon: The Ever-So-Brief Chronicles. (A side volume)

The Ever-More-Brief Chronological Adventures of Big Jon of Cimerria, by Dorothy ParkerOur hero had departed the company of Diaz and Akuma... and gingerly made his way down Belmont... an oversized, ove...
Posted by on Sat, 21 Jun 2008 06:55:00 GMT

The Adventures of Big Jon, Francis, & THE PHEOMENAUTS! (Vol. 3 in the series!) ver 2.0

The Chronological Adventures of Big Jon of Cimerria, by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Vol. 3or, Earth-bound Adventures of the Heroes of Earth's Capital, with an Ogre Cleric and a Gnomish Barbarian in towIt wa...
Posted by on Sun, 27 Apr 2008 10:53:00 GMT

How I came to kiss a young man at the Metro.

The Chronological Adventures of Big Jon of Cimerria, by Edgar Rice Burroughs, Vol. 2 Or, How I Came to Kiss A Young Man at the MetroTonight was the Anti-Flag and Street Dogs show at the Metro. I went ...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 22:22:00 GMT