Hanz - ProfilesArchive

About Me

My name is Manuel Enrique Alvarado, and I am an asshole.I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, push my body through unreasonably insane workout sessions, compete and win in Mr. Universe competitions, am fluent in spanish and english, master musician of the guitar, bass guitar, humiliate fat and/or weak people, and just generally act like a raging dickhead.Layout made by ECD & C0 at CreateBlog.com .

LAYOUT BY: East Coast Designz

My Interests

Lifting!!! I love gettin a pump - its like cumming, only better. I am currently clean of anabolic steroids, however to partake in weekly consumptions of alcohol. But mostly I just lift. I also like to squash noodles with my giant legs and laugh at kegs.

I'd like to meet:

Man who invented steroids, Lucifer, and actors on the website meatspin (.com)

Music:

Anything in which the guitar sounds like it is being dropped repeatedly, double bass pedal, and the singer screaming his vocal chords out. I love screaming. I make Sarah scream. HAHAHAHA.

Movies:

Anything with Arnold in it - Predator, Predator 2, True Lies, etc.

Television:

True Life : Steroid Episode Beerfest

Books:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Gospel The Bodybuilding Encyclopedia

Heroes:

Myself and Arnold

My Blog

My Daily Diet

My Daily Diet In order to become and stay big, I consume this diet on a daily basis. Note: Most noodles cannot handle the intensity of this muscle mix. Morning Three bowls of Austrian Brand SteroidsT...
Posted by Hanz on Tue, 30 May 2006 10:43:00 PST

Girlfriend Application

Girlfriend Application 1. Name: 2. Age: (Minimum of 13, Max of 45) 3. Are you fat? (If yes, then cease application process) 4.Fave porn movie: 5.Fave song to strip to: 6. Most embarassing momen...
Posted by Hanz on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:01:00 PST

The Famous "El Ranchito" Story

The Famous "EL RANCHITO" Story I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years. I was wrong. Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer. The ...
Posted by Hanz on Sun, 03 Sep 2006 02:49:00 PST

I Fucked a Keg Story

We've all done it. We've all accidentally fucked a fat girl. You start the night with the best intentions, but somehow you end up in one of those blacked-out, where-the-fuck-are-my-pants drunken sta...
Posted by Hanz on Sat, 26 Aug 2006 11:49:00 PST