Jared

I'd like to meet:

I'll say it. I like to fuck. I do it a lot. And sometimes it gets me into unfortunate situations. Like right now. Right now I am royally fucking fucked. See, I went to this big dinner party the other night, trying to stay out of trouble, but lo and be-fucking-hold, who's there but one of the fuckfiends from our sales team, wearing fuck-me pumps and this little green skirt. So I fucked her. Twice. First time quick, second time slow. And then I fucked her friend Michelle (a great fuck), and Michelle's boyfriend, Alec, and his ex-girlfriend Rina, who's a fucking Persian sex goddess. Same bed, same night. Fucking incredible fucking. Then it hits me: Fuck. Rina is my boss's daughter, that fucking fuck Alec fucked my sister last year, and my damn wife told me last week that if I don't stop fucking other chicks she's going to "walk out that [fucking] door and never come back." And it takes a fuckload of nerve for my wife to say that. But look, I'm not some two-bit fuck who fucks up and then expects some other fucknut to clean up his fucking mess. A man's got to take some responsibility or he'll never amount to shit. I fucked my way into this, and by God, I'll fuck my way out. I'm so far the fuck up shit's creek, I can't see straight, but that's my own fucking problem. If I'm between a rock and a hard fuck, I'm going to choose the hard fuck every time. No regrets. I saw an out-of-this-fucking-world gorgeous piece of ass-meat, and I pounced like a fucking cougar. Any fuckhead who thinks I should have fucking walked away is a fucking fucktard and I'll say it to his fucking face, the fuckface. But fuck if I know what to do next. If my mom were still alive, I'd cry on her fucking shoulder. Man, I really stuck my fucking cock in it this time. I know a lot of fuckwads who wouldn't do fuck-all about this predicament, just fuck off for a while and wait for the whole thing to blow over. But you see, that's just not this motherfucker's style. What the fuck ever happened to accountability? I can be a real fuck, sure, but I fucking finish what I start, and not just when I'm fucking. In the end, I only see one way out of this: more fucking. Much more. An all-out, nuts-in-the-guts fuckfest. Yes, one false-fucking-move and you're ass-first in a fucking genuine clusterfuck real fucking quick—but do I look like a green-eared sportfucker to you, fuckrod? Item Number Fuck on my agenda? Swoop home like a fuck-falcon and fuck my old lady like I love her. Keep fucking the skirt girl, plus hot-fuck Rina to keep that screamer quiet. Then line up a pity-fuck-and-suck with that fat-fuck deli chick, roll on out for a balls-out fuckfest with the redhead twins (ménage-à-fucking-trois, for you French fucks), and a three-day, four-night fuck-stravagaza down to Mexi-fucking-co next weekend to see the fuckable Miss Esmerelda. At the end of the day, I don't really give a fuck. These women can fuck me around, but they know not to take it too fucking far. You know why? Because you don't fuck with a fucker, that's why. And if you fuck with a fucker like me, you'll end up being the fuck that gets fucked. Simple as that. Fuck.
Create Your Own!

Music:

You scored as Eaten. Your death will be death by wild animals. You will probably get eaten by a bear or shark something because you don't know the natural safety precautions and are ignorant.

Eaten

Stabbed

Disappear

Drowning

Cut Throat

Gunshot

Accident

Suffocated

Suicide

Posion

Disease

Bomb

Natural Causes

Movies:

watch thisThe Smurfs Lost Episode

Heroes:

Treedog, Ozzie Smith, that fucker can ride.
ABOUT
Name: Jared
Birthday: 11/09/79
Birthplace: Oskaloosa, IA
Current Location: Springfield area
Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 6'2''
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: German/English
The Shoes You Wore Today: Pumas
Your Weakness: midget porn
Your Fears: who I may wake up with
Your Perfect Pizza: candian bacon and pinapple
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: move my trailer to a nicer park. this neighbor hood is going to hell.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: fuck you treedog
Thoughts First Waking Up: where am I
Your Best Physical Feature: i have nice ankles
Your Bedtime: usually around 9:30pm
Your Most Missed Memory: racing
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither
Single or Group Dates: none
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Beer
Do you Smoke: out of a light bulb
Do you Swear: no
Do you Sing: no
Do you Shower Daily: depends on if I make it home or not
Have you Been in Love: Yes
Do you want to go to College: to damn dumb for Colage
Do you want to get Married: someday
Do you belive in yourself: probably too much
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: cockmoney
Are you a Health Freak: i eat well, get plenty of sleep and stay away from alcohol
Do you get along with your Parents: they are the most important people in my life
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: skin flute, and I am getting pretty good at it
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: not that i can remember
In the past month have you Smoked: yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: i hate girls
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: i hate the mall, but yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes
In the past month have you been on Stage: yes, I moonlight at Sassy Reds
In the past month have you been Dumped: like a truck
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: yes
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: i stole the neighbor kids bike, but i took it back after i wrecked it
Ever been Drunk: i got a buzz off cough syrup once
Ever been called a Tease: by Jody, I know he wants my weiner
Ever been Beaten up: twice last week
Ever Shoplifted: once when I was 5, I cried when I got busted
How do you want to Die: i am pretty sure i am invincible and may never die
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a concert violinist
What country would you most like to Visit: one without extradition laws
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: dark
Favourite Hair Color: i brake for brunettes
Short or Long Hair: Long
Height: less than 6'
Weight: between two-twofiddy. i like to feel safe.
Best Clothing Style: i prefer most girls to be nude
Number of Drugs I have taken: 17
Number of CDs I own: 437-i called my mom and made her count them
Number of Piercings: 4-my prince albert and jacobs ladder-it was hard finding barbells that small
Number of Tattoos: i have a fairy on my left foot
Number of things in my Past I Regret: letting 1 crazy bitch try to fuck up my whole life-other than that nothing
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