BACKNBLACK

I'd like to meet:

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A nerdy little accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and put in a cell with a huge bruiser."I wanna have sex," the brute groans.
"Are you gonna be the husband or the wife?"
"Well," croaks the trembling nerd, "if i have a choice, I guess I'd rather be the husband."
"Ok," the bruiser says, "now get over here and suck your wife's dick."

A husband walks out of the bathroom naked and is climbing into bed when his wife says, " I have a headache."
"Perfect," he replies. " I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with aspirin. Would you like it orally or as a suppository?"

A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door, and shouts,
"Honey, pack your bags! I just won the damn lottery!"
"Oh my God!" screams his wife. "What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
"It doesn't matter," the husband yells back, "just get the hell out!"

A grocery store cashier quickly deals with an unruly customer demanding a discount on a damaged carton of eggs.
Later on the manager says to the cashier, "Im really impressed-you really think on ur toes. Where you from?
"Canada, sir," he says.
"Why'd you leave?"
"They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"My wife is from Canada!"
exclaims the manager.
"What team did she play for?"

A Greek and an Italian are arguing about whose culture is superior. The Greek guy says' "Well, we have the Parthenon."
"We have the Colosseum'"
The Italian replies.
"We gave birth to advanced mathematics," the greek retorts.
"But we built the Roman Empire," the Itailian challenges.
Finally the Greek says triumphantly, "we invented sex!"
"That may be true," he replies.
"But we introduced it to women!"

The: BLUEPRINT,

How'd I get stuck in this dead-end job when
I can rap.
But of course my bill collectors, they ain't
trying to hear that.
Matter fact they asking Black when I plan to
pay back?
On a long line of credit that they lent me
way back,
Way back at the turn of the century, the
notice they sent me.
Is a saying essentially; If I don't pay that
balance off along with a extra fee.
Penitentiary or criminal charges are probably
soon to follow. If your dead, disregard this.
And that got me feeling nautious and feeling
precautious.
Cause the fruits of my labor aint bearing no
harvest.
At least as an artist, cause at least as an
artist.
You can call whoever when your time gets the
hardest.
But who you supposed to call when they all
think your garbage.
And figure that you washedup, damn they so
heartless.
Cause when I call the office,
they act stiffer than starch is
(Production Is Underconstruction............)

FACT OR FICTION:

One night a man barges into his bedroom with
a sheep under is arm and stands in front of
of his wife.
"This is the pig I screw when you have a
headache," he says.
The wife looks at him and replies, "Thats a
Sheep under your arm."
"I wasn't talking to you." he replied.

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A Depressed-looking regular enters a bar

and orders a soda. The bartender asks why he

doesn't want his usual shot.

"I quit drinking," the man replies. "Last night I blew chunks."

"Whats so horrible about that?" the bar-tender ask. "Everybody gets sick once in a

While after drinking."

"No, no," the man replies. "You don't understand. Chunks is my dog."

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