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I'm 23 years old living in Bangkok which I don't wanna say it's my home because I don't feel it's like a "home". I have never felt it until I graduated and left ratchaburi. I've got a chance to go back " home ", then I knew what home is. A place which is fulled of love of my mom, aunt, uncle and my grandpa..I could still feel it even he passed away. I used to think I wouldn't be able to be alived without them, I couldn't imagine how I would be if I had to go somewhere else but then time made it happened. I didn't even realized..it just happened and I had to accept it because it is a life. I decided to work in Pattaya last year in a fancy hotel which I thought it was a good decision but I was wrong. I made a big mistake in my life..I couldn't stay with someone I love until he left me...forever...I would never let that happen to me again so I moved back to Bangkok and work in the airport to be closed to my home. I do understand the feeling well when you miss someone so hard but you will never get to be with that person again. You can't even think of it because it would hurt you and it will never happen.
I sometimes think to myself " why do I have to be in this world?" for what..to study..to work..to fight with people so I can be the winner...or to learn the experiences..when it's enough..then i die? I've always tried to look forward and think positive which it's not that easy in this world. I don't understand why they have to fight..what they get from that? to be gratified? Who knows, it might be the end of the world tomorrow and you will never get a chance to say sorry for what you have done...or you would rather die with your anger so everyone would praise you that you are the " winner"?
