Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? No honestly, don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Gosh..well DON'T YOU??? for f***s sake!!!!Hi guys I'm like so English, I love complaining about the weather and annoying the poor bastard whose sitting behind the till and blaming him because the f*****g bread hasn't been baked on time...oh Also on a Sunday morning, I will annoy the people working in the local supermarket and get up at flipping 6am, get dressed then be outside till opening time which is at 7am..just to buy the bloody Sunday paper. And when the supplements haven't been put in, then I will shout at the poor bastard whose sitting behind the till once again, because it's his fault. Yes anyways Gosh..I'm so English that I can never smile or be nice to people...I sit on the tube reading my newspaper and eating my Chicken and mushroom pastie that I bought from some shabby Train station takeaway and have this evil look on my face. If somebody talks to me, I will look at them as though they have just made derogatory remarks about my mum...yes cuz I'm English. I will always....i repeat ALWAYS be suspicious of people on the train, and stare at them. I like staring and giving evil looks...I guess it's because my life revolves around my IPOD and other such material things, which I hold dear to me on my train journey...not forgetting to mention that I simply MUST rush to grab a copy of the METRO...if I don't then it's like the day of judgement and I will start swearing...ahh but alas..thanks to those annoying bastards who impose the LITE and LONDONPAPER on me dressed in their lovely yellow and purple uniforms...I may settle for one of these, but whilst reading them, the thought still lies in the front of my mind and my eyes are wide open, scanning all sections of the carriage for a battered scrunched up copy of the METRO...once I find this, I will rush towards it like a starved person rushes towards a bowl of rice. I hold onto it and my life feels complete...maybe because there is no substance to my life. Just holding this METRO makes the sunshine in my head...did I mention I HAVE to go to STARBUCKS and buy a coffee latte..frockalocka mocka motha f***a whatever fancy names they have now..and hold it in my hand and walk into work. That's enough ranting from me, I've got to go on facebook and start adding people..because my life has no substance. TOODLES CHAPS!!!!
