't all began many many voyages ago on a dreary smoggy tide some 50 miles ou' t' sea off th' coast o' Great Britain. Captain John Singleton be leadin' a fleet o' British naval ships into battle. But this wasn`t jus' any battle, an' this wasn`t jus' any fleet. Th' three British ships be all captained by th' British navy`s best men. Captain John Singleton, his father, an' his laddie each great captains in the'r own starboard. As fer th' battle, nay one knew what John had planned. As th' three ships spotted th' two sea dog ships they be sent t' destroy, John started t' change. His behavior be erratic an' he started t' turn angry wi' his men. As th' two sea dog ships, which be t' be destroyed on accoun' o' they be interruptin' major shipments t' th' British ports, came closer, John hoisted th' white jolly roger. This be a sign o' surrender, an' his men be baffled. As th' sea dogs came close an' boarded th' ship, John suddenly turned his gun on his own men. He had led them into an ambush, which he helped create. He be well ahead o' th' other two ships so 't be too late by th' time they knew what be goin' on. John an' th' two sea dog ships turned the'r focus t' th' other two British ships. Thar be a mighty battle. 't be bloody an' vicious, thar be bodies strewn all o'er th' ocean. Th' waters around th' ships turned red wi' blood. In th' end, only one ship glided ou' o' th' smoke an' smog, 't be John`s. He had led his fleet an' his only family into a battle wi' th' sea dogs, an' turned on them. He had wanted t' be a sea dog since he be a lad, but be forced into naval duties by his father, only fuelin' his anger. So he did th' only thin' he knew how t' do ... he killed them all an' started his life as a sea dog. His crew renamed John Singleton; they gave th' lad's th' name Blackheart. So when ye hear th' tales o' Captain John Blackheart, reckon these words I speak. Ye do nay want t' cross a man who would kill his only family an' who truly has a very black heart!!
Our focus now shifts t' a dreary pub on a wee isle, arrr in th' Mediterranean Sea. A man sits in a corner all by hisself wi' his mug o' grog. He sits facin' th' crowd as he nereturns his aft on any man. While hardly th' vision o' a proud man, he be once one o' th' most feared sea dog soldiers in th' world. He be in many a battle an' won them all fer his captains. But now, after an errant cannonball struck th' lad's down in his prime, he sits in this pub all tide sulkin' an' dreamin' o' havin' his great life aft. 't turns ou'; nay crew will be havin' th' lad's now that th' hand that he used t' swashbuckle his legendary sword battles be taken. Damn th' cannonballs. Th' man, who`s real name be Erik McGee, has had enough. One night after one too many more grog, he decides that 'tis time t' show sea dogs an' land lubbers he still be th' toughest sea dog around. Jus' at that moment, a squadron o' thugs enters th' pub. One o' th' men approaches Erik. He tells Erik th' he can either move t' another table, or he be moved abroadside. Erik stood up, an' wi' a flash, plunged his hook deep into th' neck o' th' thug. Blood sprayed everywhere an' th' man fell. His crew attacked. Thar be a brawl, an' somehow Erik came ou' on top. Th' five men be all dead in a matter o' minutes, all 'ceptin' one. Thar be one man Erik did nay be seein'. Th' man attacked from behind an' plunged a jackknife into Erik’s eye, jammin' 't into bone. Erik turned in extreme pain an' somehow gathered th' strength t' break off th' jackknife an' use what be port t' stab th' man t' Davy Jones' locker. He then collapsed an' be taken t' a nearby house an' nursed aft t' health. From that tide on he be known as th' Ruthless Jackknife McGee. He ruled th' streets o' that wee village fer several moons when somethin' quite unexpected happened!!
As th' moons wore on, Captain John Blackhearts crew began t' dwindle. They be tough but they be only one ship. John needed another ship t' make a fleet. He put th' word ou' that he needed another captain t' run a ship wi' his fleet. Word got aft t' th' lad's o' a rough an' ready scourge that ruled an isle, arrr in th' Mediterranean Sea, So john set fore t' find this man. Tales o' th' mans toughness came pourin' in from many sources. Each tale taller then th' next, but nay matter, John needed this man fer his crew. They sailed fer se'en days straight t' get t' th' isle, arrr 'ere this man made his homeport. They pulled into port an' docked the'r ship. John asked an old fisherman sittin' on th' docks 'ere he could find a man named Jackknife. Th' old man suddenly looked very nervous, an' he pointed t' a pub a ways down th' wharf. John tookst his toughest men jus' in case. As soon as he entered th' pub an' scanned th' room he knew which man he be lookin' fer. Thar be a scruff man sittin' in th' corner facin' th' crowd, wi' a hook on his starboard hand an' a patch on his port eye. Th' hook be stained wi' blood an' th' eye patch be wearin' thin. John approached th' man an' told th' lad's he wanted th' lad's t' captain a ship in his sea dog fleet. Th' man eyeballed th' lad's skeptically. Jackknife th' reckoned who he be talkin' t'. He told John he would do 't but he would need th' toughest crew around. Th' next tide th' men set sail t' find a fast ship an' a tough crew. Several days later they ran into a Spanish Armada ship an' attack wi' ruthless abandon. 't be a bloody battle but th' Spaniards fell t' John an' Jackknife. Th' ship became part o' th' fleet an' be now led by Captain Jackknife. As they sailed th' world they gathered more men an' tougher men. They became th' most feared sea dogs in th' entire world. Nay ship be safe, nay e'en naval ships. Captain John Blackheart an' Captain Jackknife, two men ye hope ye nereencounter.
Th' Two captains reckoned that th' men, although tough an' loyal, needed t' be entertained. Th' men came together t' decide what ought be done. They tried lasses but after a while th' novelty wore off. Pillagin' cities an' towns an' burnin' them t' th' poop deck jus' wasn’t doin' 't anymore. Then John had an idee. One night he be listenin' Peg leg Swantoon play th' squeezebox an' had a thought. What if he got all th' men that new how t' play some instrument together an' form a sea dog band t' play fer th' men. They could write new songs t' keep th' men happy all th' time. He sproged several men, includin' Captain Jackknife an' they all formed a band. They wrote glorious sea dog songs in a style that had nerebeen heard before. In th' centuries t' come th' style would change a wee an' evolve an' prosper into a style we now know as hardcore. While th' styles may be a wee different, this band be way ahead o' its time. They became known as JOLLY ROGER!! T' this tide Captain John Blackheart, Captain Jackknife, an' the'r sea dog band set sail th' globe playin' the'r sea dog hardcore t' sea dogs an' land lubbers!!!
This be th' story o' how JOLLY ROGER came into bein'. From here on ou', ye be more then welcome t' follow JOLLY ROGER around th' world an' listen t' the'r sweet brand o' sea dog hard core. Now based ou' o' Cleveland Ohio, after they accidentally sailed down th' Saint Lawrence Seaway into th' Great Lakes, JOLLY ROGER will gladly show ye folks what sea dog hardcore be all about!!!
Ya scurvy cur!
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