b.f. profile picture

b.f.

... the Young and the Rest-stop...

About Me

Guitarist, songwriter, creator of BFE (Brett Flowers Element), (http://www.myspace.com/brettflowerselement) my rock band with Rod Jansen and Billy Pixley, that serves as my personal sonic soap-box from which I rip, rant and rave about all those things that I think demand to be ripped, ranted and raved about. Why? Because I am that which is to be feared the most in this world of mundane, sub-standard, low-browed, self-absorbed, lip-flappin', namby-pamby, punk-ass no-talent poser-afflicted purveyors of endlessly whining accounts of personal self-victimry set to the most mind-numbingly poor examples of musical construction that redefine the term "cacophonious din", and which have no reason whatsoever for their continued public performance other than the fact that, until now, no one has had the balls to tell them that they suck. That's right, I'm a motherfucker that thinks he's got something to say, and BFE possesses the skills to deliver the message,with the style and confidence that only the truly proficient practicioners of the craft can achieve. Just because music is original and local doesn't mean it has to be inferior... demand more from those that aspire to create... and hold them to their words.

My Interests

Primarily forming, then freely distributing my opinions and wild speculations, (even occasionally reversing them). If you don't like haters, or people who judge, then take your sappy ass on out of here, 'cause I come from a long, distinguished line of judging-haters... that's what makes the acts of kindness and loving forgiveness so precious, their rarity. If you're one of those people who thinks that "It's all good", then you're a moron, because, clearly, it ain't.

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet the person that people see when they meet me, and see if he's really the asshole they all say he is. I bet he's a pretty cool guy!!

Music:

All kinds, really, if it's good and doesn't waste my time. Right now, Audioslave is really big for me, but Chris Cornell is absolutely the shit, always. System of a Down, in my opinion, has redefined the parameters for "rock songs", that is unmeasurable... after Serj with at least 5 different personas going on, just yelling into the mike with one hand on your dick and your cap flipped around backwards won't cut it anymore. Anything Johnny Cash has ever done... the first Fiona Apple was just devastating, everything since that I've heard is horrible... Locally,(Dallas, Ft. Worth) I'd say them Trimm boys (Altered) really did it for me for a long time, but it was the c.d. that delivered the juice... fuckin' monstrous songs. Lots of great local guitar players, Michael Grubbs played right straight from the heart, Russ Contreras, tons more, but it's the songs that get my attention, one guy Chris Burdick, first in Temple, then briefly had a band Peacemaker, nothing but the finest quality of music from that boy, Matt Eaton and Billy Hagan's (Spittin' Jonah) "Fight the Flesh", classic... Joe Manalisay, unholy fusion boy. But around here, for every good band, there's at least 25 that are truly fucking horrible... no names, but if I yell out, "You suck!" well...

Movies:

Some all-time faves... "Death Race 2000", "Help!" (the Beatles), both "Conans", most of the "James Bondage" flics, "Real Genius", ("Don't touch his head... don't ever touch his head.") "Top Secret", "The Doors", "Salton Sea" (Val's the shit), anything with "Godzilla", "Secret Life of Walter Mitty", "Road to Morocco", "No Time for Sergeants", most of John Carpenter's shit, "Blade Runner", "Crossroads" ("I got a big white boy, Jack Butler, cuts heads every Saturday night!"), "Usual Suspects", ("Give me the keys, cocksucker-motherfucker!!")"Billy Jack", "Raising Arizona", "Road Warrior", "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly", ("If you come to shoot, shoot, don't talk.") "Apocalypse, Now", (He's close... he's real close..."), "Planet of the Apes" (1 and 2), all of the "Aliens", (yeah, all of them),"Last Resort", "Scrooged", "African Queen", "Zulu", "Twelve Monkeys", "Point of No Return", ("All bricked up, Bob..."), "Get Carter", "Run, Lola, Run", "Bourne Identity", thousands of bad Sci-Fi, thousands of bad S-n-S... Now some of my least favorite movie stars, (even if I like some of their movies), Tom Cruise, (squeals like a 12 year old girl), Mel Gibson, (thinks exaggerated facial expressions signify good acting), Juliette Lewis, Albert Brooks, Woody Allen, Hugh Grant, many more... And my faves, Johnny Depp, Val Kilmer, Joaquin Phoenix, Brad Pitt, (American treasure), Billy Bob T., Nicole Kidman, (at least her ass!) Bridget Fonda, many more, just very obscure...

Television:

Out here in the sticks, sometimes your options can be limited, but there's never a shortage of religious channels with the most surreal collection of Hair-Sprayed Charlatans... right now the Reverend Bob Tilton's show is one of the most entertaining displays of shameless pandering I've ever seen, with his heavily medicated wife and their pampered poodles... "Ha-ba-la-goo-ba-la-hoo-ba-la" indeed! Almost as macabre is the Jack Van Impe show, complete with dire prophecies, questionable credentials and creepy personal anecdotes of his Belgian boyhood, but the real star of the show is his ditzy, vacuous yet strangely erotic wife "Rexella", with her baby-talking, Marilyn Monroe-ish dialect, ("Ooooh, Jack! I just love it when you ramble on about the Rapture! Boop-boo-pe-doo!"). But my favorite is Paula White, the diminutive white-trash High-Priestess of the Upwardly Mobile with the James Brown-Jesse Jackson preaching style. Now I was raised to "Fear God and Love Jesus" but if we'd had a preacher like her when I was growing up, I'd probably be the Holy Pope of the All-Mighty Dollar by now. "Testify, Girl-frenn!" But aside from the religious shows, and all kidding aside, the best television show ever created is, without a doubt, the incomparable "MXC Most Extreme Elimination Challenge". "Remember, don't get eliminated!!"

Books:

When I was a kid, the Internet was called "books", and I read thousands of them. I loved "Tom Sawyer", "The Three Musketeers", "Scaramouche", then got into the Sci-Fi thang, "Dune" (the first one only, the rest sucked), Edgar Rice Burroughs stuff ("John Carter of Mars", etc.), tons of Robert E. Howard books (author of the "Conan the Barbarian" tales, and "Red Sonya"), and as I got older, I had a big Piers Anthony phase, but I'd have to say that Carlos Casteneda's "Don Juan" books probably affected me the most, good and bad. I'll just leave it at that.

Heroes:

My dad.

My Blog

In Memoriam: Robert (Bobby) Rodgers

I met Bobby Rodgers in 1976... I had barely turned 16, and had started working part-time that summer for my sister-in-law who ran a country club/golf course in Stephenville. She paid me $2 an hour and...
Posted by b.f. on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:14:00 PST

Sly and the (Kidney) Stone

Okay, a couple of weeks ago, (actually, it was the morning after the Pleiades Meteor Shower& yeah, what a bust that was,) I woke up about 4:00 A.M. with the most god-awful pain in my innards and after...
Posted by b.f. on Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:46:00 PST

Into Each Life, a Little Rain Must Fall...

Some of you may have noticed that I haven't really been doing the myspace thang much lately&. Don't really know why&. Could be due to the fact that, to a certain degree, the emotional roller-coaster t...
Posted by b.f. on Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:35:00 PST

I Shall Not Mow That Yard!

For all you leisure-hating grass-hacking yard-nazis who are constantly berating me for not mowing my yard on a regular basis, (or ever, for that matter) I will not be using the following reasons to ju...
Posted by b.f. on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 06:25:00 PST

From the Myspace Mailbag... Issue #1

This week's e-mail comes from little Page Logoff (not her real name). Page is a myspace newbie, and as such, is beginning to encounter some problems and situations that are actually quite common to ma...
Posted by b.f. on Mon, 11 Jun 2007 10:18:00 PST

Deleted? Here's Why...

Okay, it's that time again... if you're on my friends list and you've never sent a message, or left a comment, or made yourself known to me in any way other than your original friend request, then you...
Posted by b.f. on Thu, 24 May 2007 10:22:00 PST

Guitar Player's Letter to Dear Abby

Got this from Google Groups: alt.guitarLetter from a professional guitar player to the "Dear Abby" help column in anewspaper.Dear Abby...I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and,...
Posted by b.f. on Tue, 22 May 2007 03:18:00 PST

Brett Flowers Center for Feline Advancement

What once was only a dream has now become a reality. The highly anticipated Brett Flowers Center for Feline Advancement officially became open for business this week. The complex's design was inspired...
Posted by b.f. on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 09:53:00 PST

It's a b.f. Valentine!

Valentine's Day When I think of Valentine's Day, I don't think of the Hallmark/DeBoer's corporate fueled spending debacle that's being relentlessly hawked in all the newspapers and on t.v. ...
Posted by b.f. on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:16:00 PST

Why There Are No Gangsta Rednecks.

Been thinking about this one for a while, I'm sure it will evolve as time goes by... Why There Are No Gangsta Rednecks.Twenty-two inch wheels and spinners just look stupid ...
Posted by b.f. on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 09:50:00 PST