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I'm an age old bastard, randy one at that, like to live forever, then complain about the weather. I been everywhere, Dad, I bump my head everywhere I go, I'm too goddamn big for this little mortal world...I had wieners with Kaiser Wilhelm once, then he sent me to the trenches, the pointy headed bastard. I had tea with Churchill at Geneva and finished all the krumpets. Too slow, fat boy! I had a beer with Bukowski and Kerouac in '55, then kicked Charlie's ass for smokin my last cigarette. I slit Sid's back with a razor blade at a Pistols show in '77, cuz he asked me nicely, then shot Reagan in the '80's and blamed the other guy, chilled with Saddam in the bunker 'til it got too hot in Baghdad, like with Hitler in Venezuela, I told 'em all, "eat it good, eat it please, eat it raw, then you're yesterday's news..." Nobody listened. I'm the only one left.