I often get asked, Nick, how is it that you are so awesome. I've always just smiled and walked away. But you know what, I'll tell ya, since it's you, but I'm only telling you. Everyone-else will spend the rest of thier lives wondering.
The truth is it's in the genes, the D.N.A. See, I am the make believe love child of Ronnie James,(DIO if you're slow), and Lita Ford.
My make believe childhood was a good one, there was always a party to go to, Mom gave me wood even as a youngster and Dad wasn't really a threat, I've been taller than him since I was 3. But it could be rocky at times like any real fantasy childhood. When mom and dad would fight they'd start waling on thier guitars at all hours of the night waking up everyone that was too drunk to go home, I remeber Slash a few times stumbling in my room and hiding under my bed. And when all thier strings had broke they would start trying to see who could hit the higher note and hold it longer, dad always won that one.
The final straw was broken when mom did a song with Ozzy. Dad had taken his spot in Black Sabbath years before and he was fully aware of what Ozzy would do if mom closed her eyes for even a couple seconds let alone forever. Dad continues to rule the world but I haven't seen mom lately, I think she married a banker.... or Chevy Chase, someone like that anyway, and had some brats.
So now you know the story of why I'm so awesome. It's all because of my fantasy make belive childhood as the love child of Dio and Ms. Ford.
