Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People. --------- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. --------- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. --------- Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" --------- The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. --------- There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist. --------- Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill. --------- The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer --------- Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING --------- Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. --------- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. --------- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.