Bacon Von Güttervieb profile picture

Bacon Von Güttervieb

I forcefeed meatloaf to vegans.

About Me


Get Your Sexy Name


Hi. I'm Jess.
You've never met anyone like me.
And I did start the fire.
Some people didn't think my 'about me' was very me, so I now submit to you:
I am a lethargic 20-something hell-bent on getting my bachelors so I can get the hell out of El Paso and onto making money and getting famous.
I have the coolest dog in the world. His name is Banjo. He is almost 9 months old. He's an awesome Frisbee dog, and the smartest person I know.
For the most part, I'm invisible.
I'm also creative, funny, outlandish, silly, witty on occasion, loud, opinionated, intelligent, sometimes belligerent, typically interesting, sometimes complicated but mostly simple, distinguished, charming, a gentleman, articulate though often times not, honorable, trustworthy, honest, loyal, a dog lover, allergic to cats, lonely, friendly, intense, acrimonious, bull-headed, and a pretty good kisser.
I don't bite, and if you've read this far, you either know me in real life or are at least a little curious, so send a message, leave a comment, or something. I'm probably watching my page, refreshing every 10 seconds, bored out of my mind. Give me something to do.
Jess --
[adjective]:
Fuzzy to the touch
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com
I might seem a little mean at first, but trust me: I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Aww, Crap. I have a levitation class at 25:131. Better set the alarm to 'cinnamon'.
I love crashing on the couch and waking up to find the sun shining. I love being alive. I love feeling the sun on my face, the beer in my belly, and the air in my lungs.
I will change your life. I will change your world.
All I need is the chance.

My Interests

ZOMBIES!, Music, Movies, Comic Books, Video Games, Smallville, Superman, Batman, Deadpool, Iron Man, House, Battlestar Galactica, Texas Music and Singer/Songwriters, Witty Banter, Vintage books, Guitars, Guns, Philosophy, Political Science, Computers, Reading, Thinking, Rain, Rafting, Snowboarding, Surfing, Swimming, Road Trips, Texas, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Chips, Beer, Beer, Beer, Singing, Songwriting, Writing, School, Cooking. Scaring children and eating small dogs are frequently in my repertoire as well.

I'd like to meet:


Haven't you been paying attention? You want to meet me.

I need some new faces in the crowd, so anybody that feels like chatting, hanging out, drinking beer, or exchanging random comments and messages should click on the 'add to friends' link above and to the left.

"Did he just go crazy and jump out the window?"

My favorite short film:

Not that you care, but here's what I'm after, in descending order of importance:

1. Smart.
2. Creative.
3. Not obese.
4. Not anorexic.
5. A face that doesn't set off fire alarms.

Again, anybody interested can click on the links above and to the left to get in touch.

Music:

Here comes a long list: Dream Theater, Spock's Beard, Transatlantic, Liquid Tension Experiment, Marillion, Flower Kings, King's X, King Crimson, Fates Warning, Stratovarius, Explorer's Club, Symphony X, The Kissers, Nightwish, Racer X, Paul Gilbert, The Jellyfish, [Daryl], American Blackbelt Academy, Lights of Dragna, Pat Green, Jason Boland and the Stragglers, Kevin Fowler, Charlie Robinson, Dierks Bentley, Cooder Graw, Brad Paisley, Charlie Daniels, Chute Nine, Ed Burleson, Willie Nelson, Todd Snider, Roger Creager, Reckless Kelly, Randy Rogers, Radney Foster, Eric Church, PovertyNeck Hillbillies, Cory Morrow, The Doug Moreland Show, The Texas Jewboys...The list goes on. More when I think of them.

Movies:

SIN CITY, Any Zombie movie, American Beauty, American History X, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Any Superhero/Comic book movie, The Last Samurai, Out Cold, Van Wilder, Moulin Rouge!, Spaceballs, High Fidelity, Shawshank Redemption, and the old Star Wars trilogy.

Television:

These days, my TV is parked on HDnet, MojoHD, and the Discovery channel. I'm still a huge fan of Smallville, Mythbusters, Heroes, Smash Lab, House, Bones, and Man vs Wild. That may seem like a lot, but more often than not, I record a weeks worth of shows and veg out on Saturday.

Books:

I'm a NaNoWriMo participant this year. I did it last year, but got sick and couldn't catch up after missing a week. This year, my story isn't quite so ambitious, and it's a lot more fun.

Thanks to a friend in Arizona, I've been reading the Twilight series. The stories and mythology are pretty good, but the writing itself bothers me. Also, the stories' structure seems almost secondary to Bella pining over Edward, but hey- I'm hooked.

These days, I'm just reading what I can get my hands on, everything from metaphysical pseudo-science to comedic satire and the occasional issue of Mens' Health.

Heroes:

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman 85%
Robin 82%
Spider-Man 70%
Iron Man 70%
Green Lantern 70%
Hulk 65%
Supergirl 60%
Batman 45%
The Flash 35%
Wonder Woman 30%
Catwoman 30% You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

My Blog

The Housing Crisis

I promised Zakk I'd post this, but it's worth it for everyone to check out.I listen to "This American Life", which is a public radio show out of Chicago, from WBEZ, every week. Well, I subscribe to th...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Thu, 25 Sep 2008 10:44:00 PST

Myself Again

I'm not going to make this very long if I can help it. I just have a few quick words, as I have this new policy about actually talking about what's on my mind, rather than letting it build up and affe...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Sat, 20 Sep 2008 08:53:00 PST

Back to Normal(-ish)

So for those of you who don't remember, November is, in addition to my birth month, National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo or NaNo for short. The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel (which is barely...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Tue, 16 Sep 2008 08:12:00 PST

Continuing, With Some Clarification (Take 2)

Goddamn computer dropped the whole thing. I'm trying this AGAIN now, with a bit more fury.A few people have magically reappeared in the mix lately, very unexpectedly, but it's turning out to be a good...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Tue, 09 Sep 2008 10:22:00 PST

Choices Were Made

So here lately, I've been under a lot of stress. Some of you have listened to my tales of woe, but for the most part, it's the same old bullshit.I'm trying to get my annual bit of soul-searching done ...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Mon, 08 Sep 2008 03:09:00 PST

Phrases That Piss Me Off

This list is basically infinitely long, but I'm going to look at 3 in particular. Here we are, in ascending order of how much they piss me off."That's your opinion."This is normally heard at the end o...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Fri, 08 Aug 2008 08:17:00 PST

Following Suit

Erin posted a blog with a link to a brilliant article, so I'm going to link to it as well as a couple of other choice sites as well. Let me rant a bit myself:If you're a dude, and you wear Crocs, I ha...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Sat, 02 Aug 2008 09:51:00 PST

The Last Lecture

For those of you who have been under a rock since September, let me give you the backstory:Carnegie Mellon university in Pittsburgh, PA, hosts a lecture series formerly known as "The Last Lecture" (it...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:17:00 PST

Update

Hello, ladies and germs.As Scott has observed, I've been rather invisible for the last few days. I humbly apologize, but I do have my reasons.Mostly, it's because I took Banjo to get neutered on Frida...
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Wed, 30 Jul 2008 08:02:00 PST

The Dark Knight

I'm not going to say very much about this, because everybody's going to see it and know how good it is for themselves before long.The Dark Knight is hands down the greatest comic book movie ever made....
Posted by Bacon Von Güttervieb on Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:00:00 PST