P-Dawg

Created by dependable-ventures.comWhat up everyone? Hmmm...where do I start? I guess it all goes back to when I was 11. My brother had been saved as long as I had known him and as far back as I could remember, I wanted to be just like him. So I walked up and told the church that I had gotten saved. But it wasn't true. I walked up just because of my brother. For the next three years I walked, talked and lived the christian life. I had everyone fooled, even myself. But there was one I couldn't fool, and that was God. During those three years God was trying to speak to me but I wouldn't listen. "I am a christian" I would repley. "Don't you remember God? I got baptized and everything." Even though I was living like a christian, I wasn't truely saved. But it all changed one summer at a church camp. One of our friends, whom everyone looked up to, confessed that he had just gotten saved. It shocked everyone because we though he was already saved. He gave his testimony of what happened. He said that he walked down front and told the church he had gotten saved to impress his brother. That's when it hit me. The youth leaders told us to seperate and pray. I remember breaking down and I couldn't stop crying. I asked Christ into my life for real and for the first time, I had truely been saved.Later that summer I went back to school anxious to show everyone what Christ had done for me. But something you gotta realize about me is that I was never the popular kid. I didn't hang with the popular crowd, even though we all went to the same church. I hung with the losers and outcasts. I did witness to that group of people but to be honest, I didn't want to. I wanted to be with the popular crowd even though I had made some pretty good friends with these so called outcasts. Especially one named Andrew. Now Andrew was not saved. And even though he acted like he was not interested in what I had to say about Christ, he always listened. My freshman year in high school came and went and now it was time for our yearly summer church camp. I had a blast. But not for the right reason. I had a blast becuase I got in with the "cool crowd." At the end of the summer school started back. That first day of school my sophmore year I will remember until the day I die. It was time for lunch. I got in the line and of all people Andrew was in front of me. We had a nice conversation about what all we did over the summer and things of that sort. We went through the lunch line and as I came out, I saw Andrew sitting by himself with a seat he had saved for me. What I did next I still regret to this day and I will regret for the rest of my life. I just passed him and sat at "the cool table." I ignored Andrew like he was nothing. I became what I promised myself I would never become, a snob. Andrew was not the only person I did this to. Many other people I hung out with had said that I had stopped talking to them and that I was stuck up. But I was too blind to notice. The whole irony of the situation is, while I was ignoring my old friends, my new friends were ignoring me. Looking back on it now, it doesn't bother me that my new friends were ignoring me. What does bother me is the many witnessing opportunities I threw out the door just so I could be with the cool crowd. I would do anything to be able to go back in time and smack myself in the back of the head. Although I probably wouldn't pay any attention to it.I went on like this for all of my sophmore year and half of my junior year. Being one of the most stuck up snobby people in school, while at the same time being ignored and rejected by the cool people I thought were my friends. Finally what happened was that God had to slap some sense into me. I went to a Winter Retreat in January and the speaker I will never forget. I could see that it was not him talking, but God talking through him. God convicted me that weekend. He opened my eyes and helped me to realize what I had become. And he taught me that I needed to be myself. And that's what I decided to do from that point on. And then that is where more irony came in. Because once I decided to be myself everyone decided that I was cool. But I didn't care. I went back to hanging out with the losers and outsiders. Not just because they were the only ones who truely accepted me for who I was, but because Jesus himself, even though he was a popular person, chose to hang out with losers and outcasts. And you know, What Would Jesus Do.Time went on and I graduated being labeled a loser and a geek and loving it. After I graduated I ran into an old friend of mine who had just gotten saved. All his life he dreamed of being a rapper and now he dreamed of being a christian rapper. Something else I will never forget. He came over my house with a beat that he had made. We were over there listening and something happened. I had never freestyled in my life, I can't freestyle now, and I will probably never be able to freestyle ever again. But in that moment, words began coming out fo my mouth. I know, many of you probably think it's bogus, but I could feel God telling me to do this. To be a rapper. Why? I really don't know. I'm not really any good. I can't stay on beat, I have to practice for hours, even days just to get one track right. But God has given me a gift of poetry. Ever since I could remember I was always making good grades on papers I had to write in school. I can remember my teachers always being amazed at how I wrote. So that is why I am doing what I do. As I said in "P-Dawg's Here." when God gives you a gift, you better use it.Get Your Own Voice Player Manage