Clayton

I am Clayton.
Stubborn. I fit into the mold, but don't fill it out. Cute beyond comprehension. Prideful beyond words. I want my own planet to rule with my brilliant friends. Type A; I am a leader. Painfully aware of my shortcomings, but utterly incapable of admitting them. You can't be neutral to me; hate me or love or leave me, just remember me.
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I stared death in the face...
and death blinked.
I beat death - so what possible chance
do you have of beating me?
My heart is yours to break or bury,
Or wear as jewelery, whichever you prefer.
I'm getting better, my nurse assures me
But I'll infect you before you can cure me.
(myspace.com/thelasttruebeliever)
My Quote Wall
The Personally Entertaining
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"Did you know? No, nevermind. I'm not even going to say it."
"Was it penis?"
-Ambo and I
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"What happened?"
"They blew up tons of hideous kids and the world rejoiced!"
-TT and I
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"May I call you boo boo kitty f**k?"
"No you may not."
-Myself and Krystal
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"Do you have a girlfriend?"
"No, I don't. But you're my guy pie!"
-Myself and Levi
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"I'm gonna be jealous of our child!... I'm not so sure I can deal with that... Oh well, we can always send him back to the adoption agency or sell him as a slave or something."
-Carly, on our future child
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"I'm reading the best series ever, it's pure genius."
"So, not Harry Potter?"
"... you bitch."
-Ambo and I
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Once the chickens have fully commenced,
then they will know us as their forefathers.
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"Then why does he dress up to go to work?"
"Cause he's gay!"
-Myself and Ambo
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"I think he's on crack. I swear that little kid's a psycho."
-Brittney, on her two-year old nephew
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"Hold my hand."
"Why? Did you just pee???"
-Mason and Carly
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"He's gonna get rid of that fifteen year old girlfriend and start having sex with skanks. ...I hope I'm the first one."
-Amber, on Gregg
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"Oh my god, this is so hideous... I'm in love."
-Ambo
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"Real friends have wet dreams about each other."
-Me
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"You're so evil... I think I should eat you."
-Me
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"I never want to date one of my brother's ex-girlfriend's. I'd look at one of my kids and be like 'Okay, he looks like me... but me and Andrew kinda look alike!'"
-Me
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"So you could be a good person if you really wanted to."
"You see, that upsets me."
-Ambo and I
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"I'm a bad person."
"Oh god, what did you do?"
"I raped a kitten!"
-Ambo and I
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"But why?"
"Cause Bowser is a bitch."
-Jenna and I
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The Otherwise Entertaining
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"If you're going to hire a machete to kill the bad guys, you better make damn sure you're not the bad guys!"
-Machete preview, Grindhouse
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"Oh please, we're gay - there's no such thing as just friends."
-Ugly Betty
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"If your life had a face I would punch it in the balls. Seriously."
-Scott Pilgrim
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"If this is one of those lectures about how we're all supposed to whatever and blah blah blah, we have it all memorized."
-Lindsey Bluth
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"I love your sweater!"
"I love your... *silence* ... okay."
-Ugly Betty
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When I'm done you won't be able to get a seat in a chair factory.
-Weeds
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"You listen to me. I'm the one who tells you what your mom says, okay?"
-Scott Pilgrim
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"Well, I was thinking of tracking down the tennis whore and beating her to death with a tire iron, but I forgot to set my Tivo for The Shield, so I think I'll go home."
-Weeds
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"They were so used to quarreling and making it up again that they got married so as to go on doing it more conveniently."
-Narnia: The Horse and His Boy
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Remember, we only make others feel bad
to make you feel good!
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We are that family. We'd kill each other for that last piece of pizza, and then rape the dead one. Even if we weren't hungry. Or horny.
-Reno 911
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"It looked like you were going to ambush us
and snap our heads off."
"Who, me? No!... Well, maybe a little."
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"I don't know what a hollaback girl is, but I want her dead."
-Family Guy
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"Who are you calling a cooty queen, you lint licker?!"
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"And you better do what he says, or else... or else you're going to wake up tomorrow morning and find your tires slashed or something. It won't be good, I promise."
-Dirty Sexy Money
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"You're taking p***y to a whole new level."
-Weeds
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"You seem like a man of taste and class."
"I'll give you $2000 to touch me."
-Arrested Development
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"How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?"
-Ramona Flowers
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"For all I know she's calling to break up with me.
I don't answer, that doesn't happen."
-Gob Bluth
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The Lyrical
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When I offered you survival,
You say it's hard enough to live,
It's not so bad, it's not so bad
How do you know that you're right?
-The Killers
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I know that I'm being used,
but it's okay because I like the abuse.
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You gave it all away before you could lose it.
-Julianna Theory
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So should I just get along with myself?
I never did get along with everybody else...
-The Killers
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Does it scare you that I can be something different than you?
Would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't?
You can't control me and you can't take away
from me who I am...
-Lifehouse
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And if I need a rhythm
It’ll be to my heart I listen
If it don’t get me too far wrong
-Roisin Murphy
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I've put millions of miles beneath my heel,
but still too close to you I feel.
-Audioslave
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My heart is stone
but still it trembles.
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I'd give you my hand
If you'd reach out and grab it
Let's walk away from this hell
-Julianna Theory
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Cause what I feel
is so sweet
and i'm scared that even
my breath could burst it
as if it were a bubble
-Elisa
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And I'm sick of all my judges,
I'm so scared of what they'll find
-The Killers
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You would live a hundred years
If I could show you how
I won't desert you now...
-Les Miserables
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I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you.
-The Pretenders
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Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken.
-Evanescence
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Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it.
-Lifehouse
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I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well.
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I want the sun, and if it's not here soon I might be done...
-Shivaree
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Now I know you're not a fairy tale,
And dreams were meant for sleeping,
And wishes on a star just don't come true.
-High School Musical
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So I put my arms around you... around you...
And I hope that I will do no wrong...
My eyes are on you...they're on you...
And I hope that you won't hurt me...
So I put my arms around you...around you...
And I hope that I will do no wrong...
My eyes are on you...they're on you...
And I hope that you won't hurt me...
-Elisa
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Some people search the world
to find something like what we have.
And I know people will try,
try to divide something so real
So til the end of time I'm telling you that
No one, no one, no one
can get in the way of what I'm feelin'
-Alicia Keys
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What are you doing the rest of your life?
North and South and East and West of your life,
I have only one request of your life...
That you spend it all with me.
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I have no doubt that I could love you forever
The only trouble is, I really don't have the time...
-Dreamgirls
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I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
-A Fine Frenzy
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Are you gonna fight for me,
Die for me,
Live and breathe for me?
Do you care for me?
Cause if you don't then just leave...
-Kelly Clarkson
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If I told you this was killing me, would you, would you stop?
-The Julianna Theory
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It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this,
it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss...
-The Killers
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You can say what you mean, but it won't change a thing
I'm sick of secrets...
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose
But you came along and you cut me loose...
-Coldplay
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Is this how the gods reward the faithful through the ages?
Forcing us to prove that the hardest things
we've done are easy... so easy...
-Aida
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My heart is yours to break or bury,
or wear as jewelry, whichever you prefer.
-Dashboard Confessional
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A thousand miles seems pretty far,
but they've got planes and trains and cars,
I'd walk to you if I had no other way...
-Plain White Tees
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And I swear to God I’ll have found myself in the end...
And I swear to God I’ll have found myself in the end...
And I swear to God I’ll have found myself in the end...
And I swear to God I’ll have found myself in the end...
In the end........
-30 Seconds to Mars
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The Random
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"Have you ever thought that even if I am Satan and an adulterous bitch that I still might be the love of your life?"
-Addison, Grey's Anatomy
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Love. Worship. Deify.
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Hell. Rot. You.
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"I love you so bad."
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"Sure baby, you can do whatever you want
because you're fabulous."
-Carly's Spanish Teacher
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"This isn't chocolate... it's insanity!"
-TT O'Dell
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Don't raise your voice - improve your argument.
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"Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed."
-Narnia: The Magician's Nephew
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I just think it's bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
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Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest one of all?
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"Aw sugar, you just gone and done the dumbest thing
you ever did in your whole life."
-Sin City: The Big Fat Kill
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MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL!!!
-Anna Nicole Smith
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"It's mercy and compassion and forgiveness I lack...
not rationality."
-Beatrix Kiddo
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"Apparently you're a bitch in every universe you inhabit."
-Nip/Tuck
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"Do I frighten you? Is it my scar?"
"It's your car."
-Death Proof
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"It's not that I burned bridges; I never built them."
-Nip/Tuck
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"You should be kissed, and often.
And by someone who knows how."
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God done seen fit to put you in my path,
and I aim to cure you of your wickedness.
-Black Snake Moan
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"Never underestimate the power of denial."
-American Beauty
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"Be who you are, wear what you want,
just learn to run real fast."
-Marc, Ugly Betty
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Do you find me sadistic? This is me at my most masochistic.
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"Roger's arm was conditioned by a civilization that knew nothing of him and was in ruins."
-Lord of the Flies
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"It was very nearly worth having the nightmare in order to have the joy of waking."
-Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
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"Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan."
-John Kennedy
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So, am I a bad person?
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"Am I so beautiful you've no words left?"
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I stared death in the face...
and death blinked.
I beat death - so what possible chance
do you have of beating me?
-100 Bullets
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The Important
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"Even being alone is better than sitting next
to a lover and feeling lonely."
-Julie Delpy, Before Sunset
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Lie to me boy... tell me I'm the one.
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"He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward is to be set to do another and harder and better one."
-Narnia: The Horse and His Boy
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As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods;
they kill us for their sport.
-A Brave New World
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I don't know if that's good or bad. I don't know if it's better to have your kids happy and not go to college. I don't know if it's better to be close with your daughter or make sure that she has a better life than you.
I just don't know.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower
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Human history began with an act of disobedience, and it is not unlikely that it will be terminated by an act of obedience.
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"You are my creator, but I am your master; -obey!"
-Frankenstein
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Nothing you confess can make me love you less.
-The Pretenders
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I'm getting better, my nurse assures me
But I'll infect you before you can cure me.
-Andrew (myspace.com/thelasttruebeliever)
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When I lay my head on my pillow at night,
the only thing I want to feel is accomplishment.
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Do I even want to get over it? I say I'll use it to help me do better next time, to not make the same mistakes, to be smarter. But you can't be smart in love, and as sweet as it sounds, heartbreak is no teacher. It's merely a reminder of reality that serves only as a companion to fresh heartbreaks. It won't stop others from coming, but it'll keep them company when they show up.
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Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris.
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For you I'd bleed myself dry.
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Will you be my muse? Inspire me when I'm dead,
and enlighten me to my subconscious. Be my muse, please.
I desperately need one.
-Me
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"Our sense of power is more vivid when we break a man's spirit than when we win his heart."
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"Real fathers want their sons to be more than they are -
not carbon copies."
-Nip/Tuck
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I really do love you.
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Words of yours may cut my heart, but still it keeps on beating.
-Me
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We accept the love we think we deserve.
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Sometimes in my darkest thoughts,
I wish I'd never learned
What is to be in love, and have that love returned.
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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love,
and be loved in return.
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If I were an angel I swear I'd fight the devil
But I'm only man - I'm on his level.
-Andrew (myspace.com/thelasttruebeliever)
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Desperate Housewives Quotes
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"You agreed to marry him to be nice?"
"Well, obviously there's a downside to good manners."
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"Honey, she's a virgin. Who knows why virgins do anything?"
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"It's not like I said 'let's go out for burgers and birth control!'"
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"Well we'll just have to find someone who's not good at gay math."
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"Where are you going?"
"To bed - alone! It's something I've always wanted to try but never gotten around to!"
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"I can't believe you tried to kill me."
"Yes, well I feel badly about that."
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"You wasted your time, and your doughnuts!"
"Not if you choke on them!!!"
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"He's a perceptive man."
"He thought I was cheating on him with two gay guys... you sure perceptive is the word you want to use?"
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"Excuse me! Did you smoke that bong
before you hit the man with it?"
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"I'm sorry, betrayal makes me cranky!"
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"It'll be at church... people will be judging you."
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"Men are genetically incapable
of realizing their dreams are stupid."
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"Come on, there's never a good reason to hit a woman."
"That's what I thought, until I met you."
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"Oh honey, the gloves are off. They're 70% OFF!"
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"No one cares about virginity in this country.
It went out of style in the 50's, and trust me honey,
it ain't making a comeback."
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"So... thank you."
"What?!"
"I'm not going to say it again; it hurt my teeth the first time."
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"I'm not going to be able to fix your house. I've had a personal problem."
"Well I hope no one died... which is the only excuse I'd accept."
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"I love you."
"I know, but it scares the hell out of me."
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"Bad enough you cut off his cojones,
now you want to juggle them?"
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"So you're taking money to sleep with a man you don't love? Gee, if that was a job I wonder what they'd call it."
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"You might've gotten your first diaphragm with milk money, but that doesn't give you the right to corrupt my daughter!"
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"I hate to admit this Lynette, but every time that man screams in pain I do a little jig inside."
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"How can you know you had sex?"
"...and he said it was amazing, which totally sounds like me."
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They both had the same thought: they would be having sex again... just not with each other.
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"You're like a hot groom and gay best friend
all rolled into one."
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"You were a natural - the people loved you."
"Well the feeling wasn't mutual!"
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"And just so you know, if I was a lesbian
I would totally do you."
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"Andrew, do young people still say awesome?"
"Um, not really. Try 'off the hook.'"
"'Off the hook?' But that doesn't even make sense!"
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"It's bad luck for the groom
to see the bride on her wedding day."
"You know what's really bad luck? Marrying a wife-killer."
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"Better a bastard than a whore."
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"Oh my god - she just screened me! I have been screened!"
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"And what is history, but a set of lies agreed upon?"
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"You're a conniving bitch."
"I see you've heard from our lawyer."
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"You shouldn't listen to woman who's
just had her heart broken. We tend to lie."
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"The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference."
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"Don't mistake my anal retentiveness for actual affection."
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"Think of how good men are at lying on the spot - God forbid you give them time and a pen."
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I KNOW WHAT YOU DID
IT MAKES ME SICK
I'M GOING TO TELL
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