Mayor of Mattropolis

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
(Please note that there are Zero units available at this time. Shawcorp thanks you for your interest in The Matt, but has no immidiate plans of production. At this time there is also no ETA for future units. Thank you.) Are you looking for a low maitenance, no drama, laid back kinda person? Do you often wish there was someone around to make the wiseass remark that you yourself either can't come up with fast enough, or simply don't have the gonads to say out loud? Have you ever longed for sudden bursts of noise, or wondered what several of your household objects would sound like if used as a drum? If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, the Matt may be just what you are looking for!!The Matt comes pre-set to "Optomist", and this is his primary function. Other settings such as "Philosopher", "Prankster", and "Pervert" are also included...but should be used sparingly. The Matt has too many settings to list here, you'll have to push his buttons for yourself to get the full range of effects!The Matt has been stripped down of unwanted and faulty parts and has been totally refurbished for your enjoyment! There is a 100% satisfaction guarantee.(Warrranty not valid in Turkey)AND THAT"S NOT ALL!!!!The Matt is a complex wielder of words, a skilled listener, a fountain of useless information, and expert in music trivia...especially in the rock and metal generes, a competent cook, a video game operator, a guru of typos, and a devourer of snack foods!To keep your Matt happy and in optimum working condition, Shawcorp recomends the following: Once a week allow the Matt to watch football all day without interuption. Not sure what to feed the Matt? As a genreal rule of thumb stick with the "O's" I.e.: "cheetos, fritos, tostitos, Doritos, and Burritos" But do keep in mind that the Matt will eat just about anything. Allow the Matt to play drums at least once a day, this keeps him happy and relaxed. The Matt enjoys females immensely..in all types and variaties...exposure to females is GREAT for the Matt.Things the Matt will take to immidiately are, and are not limited to: Three stooges films, World of Warcraft, Blondes, Brunettes, Red Heads(may overheat), Breasts, Buttocks, Coca-Cola, Nurses, Rock Music, Video Games, Food Network, The Oakland Raiders, Tabasco Sauce, Roller Coasters, Coffee, Pastries of all types, and anything shiny.Keep the Matt away from: Country music, shopping trips, and sharp objects.Shawcorp is NOT responsible for the Matt if he happens across a guitar playing, frosting covered, red headed female. If this should occur you are advised to get as FAR AWAY from the Matt as possible untill he rocks, eats, or humps himself to sleep.....We hope you enjoy your Matt for many years to come! We guarantee you will not find a comparable product anywhere!Thank you for your buisness!-ShawcorpI found my rollover effect at pYzam.com , They're awesome!