Daniel James Young - The Story So Far
It was about 10am on the 30th December, 1991. After having been delayed on my flight by 6 days I finally graced this miserable crap hole called Earth with my presence. I believe I ordered the midwife to fetch me a Magners, with ice, and then gave her a firm backhand in return. BITCH.
A few years later, I had grown up - surprisingly - and did both good and bad. I saved Godzilla from a burning house, but sadly killed him with my ninja grip as we flew through the air. I also became the world record holder for the quickest time in completing a rubick's cube in 0.0000000003485778 seconds. However, I foolishly forget that by completing a rubick's cube in 0.0000000003485778 seconds it implodes the universe. I then spent the next 3 years rebuilding the universe out of popsicle sticks and blutac. But eventually the job was done.
Now I know what you're thinking; how can one man find the inspiration for such awesometastical events? The answer: MRS T (aka Ciara M Litchfield). What better way to top Mr. T's historic presence in the universe then by stealing his bitch? THERE IS NO BETTER WAY YOU FOOLS SO SILENCE . Smart, intelligent and well mannered are a few words that have never been used to describe such a woman; come on - you can't have anyone thinking they're better than Mr. T can you? Though I do think she is lovely ;)
Many years later I heard about this MYSPACE contraption, and was dumbfounded that a human could invent such a thing and spent 15 years killing anyone who let the name pass their lips. Then I realised that it was true, there WAS such a thing so I did what anyone would do; I called Chuck Norris up to ask for a favour in return for the previous summer having mowed his lawn, that he reverse time for me. HE DID, COS HE'S COOL
So now I'm on here, ADD ME, COMMENT ME, COMMENT MY PICTURES, MESSAGE ME AND REPLY TO MY BULLETINS OR YOU WILL UNDER GO A SLOW A PAINFUL DEATH MOTHER FUCKERS. Unlike Ciara Litchfield because she is extremely nice and lovely ;) love love kiwi
ps: OLI SYKES IS A DOUCHEBAG
IF YOU LIKE HIM - YOU'RE AN EVEN BIGGER DOUCHEBAG
