piquant nicole
Ya know, I've been uncool for years now, but it was just recently that I gave in and admitted it. Turns out life ain't so bad in the uncool lane. I still get mine. It's Nicole Stetter, and maybe I'm vein, but I feel like you've heard that name. Well, I'm an interesting species, I feel, or maybe that's me being vein again. Let me start by describing just what you might expect from me. I don't believe in being lady-like. It's a new day and age. Just because I do my makeup daily doesn't mean I have the same I.Q. as my bra size. I am an artist because I create visuals of my inner thoughts in the form of fashion, prose, and speech. I drink beer with meals, with no intentions of getting drunk. I am a firecracker. I fear practically nothing and I will very likely do whatever it takes to make you laugh. It shouldn't take much, though. I've gotten into fist-fights with boys and even loved one of them for the duration of my youth. I was adopted at birth because my birth mother was a crack head. My moms met at JC Penney. I was poor as shit growing up and got used to food banks. I have a little brother who we adopted while he was 2-years-old. I've been living in the same house for 18 years. It even burned twice within a 9-month period. I lived in a hotel for 8 months. I've never switched schools before graduating from them. I used to want to be a little boy and even called myself "Nick" and wore boys' clothes. My first boyfriend was in 4th grade, my first kiss in 7th, and my first fuck in 10th. I progress well. I've had 11 jobs and was once a mover for A-Team Moving Co. I carried the little boxes. I came extremely close to celebrating a 5-year anniversary with a boy, at only 19-years-old. Many people marry before reaching their 5-year anniversary. I won first place in a karate tournament in 5th grade then went on to be cheerleading captain in 11th. I'm not the most stunning bitch you'll ever see, but I think I'm the most enriched. So fuck you and your stunning desires. I am an exceptional blunt roller, one of the greatest females I must say. I ran from the cops in 5th grade and returned home to my friend's house where her mom had finished prostituting herself. She handed us $5 in foodstamps and off to 7/11 we went. I'm so forward that people often think I'm lying or, more frequently, think I'm being sarcastic- none of which are happening. I fell in love at 13 because I believe strongly in compatibility. I have already lived with a guy for a year before I was 20. I was arrested in the middle of my waitressing shift, and then took pictues in the back with the girl who got me arrested. I started driving when I was 13, also got my nose pierced at 13, and got my belly button pierced at 12. I threw house parties which college kids attended (ultimately resulting in mass destruction of my property) when I was in the 7th-9th grades. I used to be a wigger. I collected retro MJ's and I can still braid like a black girl. I once had to protect my family from an unknown drugged out neighbor who came barging in my front door. I have tried ecstacy, shrooms, crystal meth, cocaine, and a few pills in my life, in no particular order. I've never been snowboarding. I hit a school bus once and acted as if I didn't know my license was suspended when CHP arrived. I had lice for about a year straight in the 5th grade and anyone who went to El Oro Way Elementary school remembers that. My parents, the genuine folks who adopted me, are borderline mentally retarded while my father also has cerebral palsy. I think that makes my family and I pretty fucking spectacular because we're all alive. I had a car repossessed before I graduated high school. I once got caught in my boyfriend's closet while trying to hide since I wasn't allowed over- ever. See, some parents thought that I would be a bad influence to their children. Go figure. I am what I like to call an extraordinary machine. I just work beautifully. And in no way do I think that makes me cool (here comes my disclaimer). I've had to endure things that I wouldn't wish on anyone, but wouldn't take back. I have learned more than many, but still less than many. I think that I am absolutely beautiful and amazing- but I feel the same about you. I am superior to no one, and inferior to no one. I am who I am. I am
Nicole Stetter the Uncool. Thanks for your time.
Hey Nicole...
