"I can beleive things that are true and I can beleive things that aren't true and I can beleive things where nobody knows if they're true or not.
I can beleive in Santa Claus
and the Easter Bunny and Marylin Monroe
and the Beatles and Elvis and Mister Ed.
Listen- I beleive that people are perfectible,
that knowledge is infinite,
that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis,
nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs
and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our women.
I beleive that the future sucks
and I beleive that the future rocks
and I beleive that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyones ass.
I beleive that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating
and that the decline in good sex in america is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.
I beleive that all politicians are unprincipled crooks
and I still beleive that they are better than the alternative.
I beleive that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes,
while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.
I beleive that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt
so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like the Martians in War of the Worlds
I beleive that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis,
that jade is dried dragon sperm,
and that thousands of years ago I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.
I beleive that mankind's destiny lies in the stars.
I beleive that candy really did taste better when I was a kid,
that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumblebee to fly,
that light is a wave and a particle,
that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time
(although if they don't ever open the box to feed it, it'll eventually just be two diffrent kinds of dead),
and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.
I beleive in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do.
I beleive in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hand with her girlfriends and dosn't even know I'm alive.
I beleive in an empty godless universe of usual chaos,
background noise,
and sheer blind luck.
I beleive that anyone who says that sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly.
I beleive that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.
I beleive in absolute honesty and sensible social lies.
I beleive in a woman's right to choose,
a baby's right to live,
and that while all human life is sacred
there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly,
and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.
I beleive that life is a game,
that life is a cruel joke,
and that life is what happens when you're alive
and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it. "
-Neil Gaiman
