ATTENTION! Independent booking agents. WE DO NOT want to play your pay-to-play showcases and we never will. Cease spamcontacting us or we will MELT YOU. Pay-to-play makes bands do the work, while promoters and clubs sit back and count cash. Bands should ROCK; promoters should promote. Nuff said.
The first recorded music disc of OMEGA MONSTER PATROL! Rubber stamped on 100% post-consumer recycled cardstock. 26:48 running time. Eight dollars in early-21st Century American currency (postage included).
This is a set of 3 buttons measuring approximately ONE INCH (or .5203 Neftilon morbitts) in diameter. Apparently, buttons are cool. Colors vary slightly, though your underdeveloped human eyes most likely can only barely tell the difference. The cost in early 21st Century American currency is five dollars.OMEGA MONSTER PATROL! is a special unit of the Intergallactic Consortium a thousand of your years in the future focused on one thing: keeping the denizens of the Unified Controlled Firmament safe from monsters. That's right. Monsters. They're everywhere. Fortunately for you, in your time, monsters haven't reached your sector - nor are they interested. You pretty much have nothing they want.However... our temporal scientists have now discovered that a small dominion of monsters has somehow broken the laws of time travel and is attempting in your time and in your space to seize power and take control to affect the future. Their influence is already abundant in your governments, corporations and interest groups.Certain members of the Prime Council initially suggested that we simply erase your planet from existence, but they were thankfully outvoted. Your culture, your planet - they are salvageable. Liberty is your birth-right.And that's where WE come in. OMEGA MONSTER PATROL! Don't worry, Earth-people. We will win. FEAR US, MONSTERS. Every dark creature, hellion, savage beast, horror of the shadow - be you leviathan or imp - you have no place here!And while we're vanquishing foes here in 21st Century "Earth", we're going to throw some sweet dance parties.
