I'm a big fan of snacks. Meals are great, too, but who has time to sit down and eat a whole ham these days? That's why I get most of my chow from the Vending Machines. Fills me up and it doesn't empty my wallet. I don't get why it's just food in there, though. Why can't they throw a pair of briefs in the machine for a buck? Sometimes mine break down and I don't have next month's pair with me, so vending machine skivvies would be the perfect replacement.
There's one lady who might fit the bill and her name is Louise. She works as a toll collector at the Wilkes-Barre exit on the Pike. Lou's a big woman, really fills out her uniform and I like it. I'm going to show up at her tollbooth next weekend wearing my lucky socks and my sex pants. Then I'm going to read her a poem I've been working on, in the style of my man Willy Carlos Williams. After that, I'll spray paint all the windows in her booth black and show her why they call me "The Guiding Principle." It's going to be smooth. Don't know if she's rich, but she definitely has access to a lot of change and that's good enough for me.
Don't get me wrong: I love music. Music is the only thing I can really remember for at least half of my life and I couldn't live without it. Concerts, on the other hand, are like magnets for big dudes with hard fists. I had to swear them off -- too many jagged bottle cuts will do that to you. Concerts make me feel like a warrior and sometimes that's not a good thing. Especially in the eyes of the law.
You know what. I think most basketball movies are great movies. Because it's a great subject. There's one about a little kid who joins a professional basketball team and he's really, really good and he can dunk and he's like 3 feet tall. And he can dunk the ball. That, oh, I love that movie. That movie kind of, that movie makes me cry. I don't like to cry, but that movie makes me cry. Because it touches a cord in me about hoops. And basketball is like jazz, you know.
Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That's why I always start with a gun, because you can't top it, you just can't.
Books are great when you can't find a pillow.
Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning, and go into their normal jobs, and get a distress call from the commissioner, and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.