tony mutha fuckin danza

yo! tony here and boy am i excited! i'll keep you updated on all the cool shit that i do on a daily basis. i really like crapping on things, mostly on the chests of women. i come from a very religious family. just kidding. i actually come from a very dysfunctional family. my step dad was a paraplegic/alcoholic. my mom was obese and ran a sweat shop. my step dad used to get drunk and beat the living shit out of me, then i'd have to massage my mom's feet afterwards. but it didn't matter cuz i started getting ass while i was still shooting blanks. i'd just go out and bang a few pre-pubescent chicks and it would make the nightly beatings feel like little love pats. i know what you're thinking! yes, my semen is fully matured now and down right tasty if i might add (that info was for you ladies, you know, in case any of you skanks wanna get knocked up or swallow a steamy load of danza gravy). sometimes i eat raw meat. i heard somewhere that raw vegetables have more nutrients than cooked vegetables, so i figured that the same applied with chicken and beef. of course i was the first one to ever think of that. no one realizes how superior my brain is. i should start charging people that add me to their friends list because i can guarantee that you'll be at least 3 iq points smarter after reading this. i collect "magic the gathering" cards. every sunday me and my posse meet up at wendy's for chili and card trading. abba is the most badass band.......EVER and anyone that speaks unkind words about them in my presence will have a great deal of pain inflicted upon them. i'm currently doing a side project with gary coleman. it's a made for t.v. movie called " the boy that couldn't grow" i'm uncircumcized. this one time i put an entire butternut squash in my asshole just to see if it would fit. good news, it fit. sometimes i question myself, but we all know who the boss really is. did i mention that i was uncut? ..

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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Tony Danza
Birthday: I'm old enough to be your dad, but young enough to have sex with you
Birthplace: The floor of a sweat shop
Current Location: I'm a nomad. If I stayed in one place for too long I'd have so many bitches trying to collect child support.
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: browner than my eyes
Height: Tall enough to be intimidating
Right Handed or Left Handed: Depends. I write with my right but can jerk off with both.
Your Heritage: Italian
The Shoes You Wore Today: Some loafers that belonged to my step dad. He's a paraplegic so he didn't feel it when I took em right off his feet. He was passed out from an evening of heavy drinking. Fucking crippled asshole.
Your Weakness: Drugs and zoos
Your Fears: That I'll wake up black. Oh, and blueberry muffins also frighten me.
Your Perfect Pizza: extra cheese with a line of coke on the side.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: I really want to start my own reality tv show.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: My place or yours?
Thoughts First Waking Up: stupid boner
Your Best Physical Feature: Um, can we rephrase this? Cuz last time I checked all of my physical features are better than that of the average Joe. So all of them. I'm god's bragging right, cuz he made me perfect.
Your Bedtime: I don't have a set bedtime. I live by my own rules.
Your Most Missed Memory: My guest appearance on Growing Pains.....and most of my childhood
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: your mom's vagina
Single or Group Dates: gang bangs
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: coffee
Do you Smoke: no shit
Do you Swear: see above
Do you Sing: I jump at the chance, especially on live television
Do you Shower Daily: golden?
Have you Been in Love: no
Do you want to go to College: Do you wanna blow me?
Do you want to get Married: Fuck no!
Do you belive in yourself: what kind of question is that?
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: Hellooooo......I'm Tony Danza.
Are you a Health Freak: no, but I like to get my freak on
Do you get along with your Parents: I was abused as a child. Figure it out yourself
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: the rusty trombone
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Let's put it this way, I replace the milk in my bowl of lucky charms with Seagram's
In the past month have you Smoked: Um, can you be more specific?
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Is there a day this past month that I haven't been on drugs is the real question
In the past month have you gone on a Date: I don't need to go on dates to get ass. The bitches flock to me like hungry pigeons. So the answer to that would be no.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: I go to the mall all the time. First I like to snort crushed up oxycontin, have myself a few cocktails and then start a fight inside the Build-a-Bear Workshop. After the security douche nozzles throw me out, I take a piss in the fountain outside. It's my way of saying "fuck you"
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Oreos send out the wrong message. I don't approve of them. It should be white-black-white, not black-white-black.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I love Asian women. They have small feet.
In the past month have you been on Stage: I have my own show. Asshole
In the past month have you been Dumped: No, but I've been dumped on.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Well, it resulted in me getting arrested. I didn't have any hot water, so I jumped the fence and used my neighbor's hot tub to bathe. She just called the cops cuz she's bitter. I never broke off a piece of the Danza for her to chew on. I do have standards and fat chicks just don't peel my banana.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Only the virginity of a very intoxicated 17 year old girl
Ever been Drunk: Haven't we gone over this?
Ever been called a Tease: The Danza doesn't believe in teasing. Not enough time. I'm more of the wham bam thank you ma'am kind of guy.
Ever been Beaten up: Only by my step father.......
Ever Shoplifted: It's a long story. However, the end result was an orgy.
How do you want to Die: With my nuts exposed and a tall can in my right hand.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm all that I'll ever need to be
What country would you most like to Visit: I'm not sure. But I'll tell you this much, it ain't Africa
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: whatever, as long as they're there. One time I banged this chick with a glass eye. Fucking creepy.
Favourite Hair Color: yellow, at least after I piss in it
Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter
Height: Not a midget. I already have one of those in my life.
Weight:
Best Clothing Style: Clothing is not an option. If we're gonna get busy there can't be any clothing involved
Number of Drugs I have taken: that's funny
Number of CDs I own: 123
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: 2
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I regret nothing. Someday my life will be written down in bible format and people will start a religion based on my life's work
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS! tony danza --
[adjective]:
Visually addictive
'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com