Interests? Music. G.I. Joe. Toys. General nerdery. Pen-and-Paper and Dice-and-Table and Mountain-Dew-and-Doritos Role-Playing Games. I used to be the best gamer I know. Now I’m Nothing. I still play video games a lot, mostly Real Time Strategy games on the PC. Not too much for console gaming anymore, but I am looking forward to Mass Effect (from BioWare, the guys behind the excellent Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic.) I do love and one day hope to own every SquareSoft title for the PlayStation One. I think I’m halfway there.
I’m really into the Warhammer 40,000 universe right now, playing the WH40K: Dawn Of War game, discussing it incessantly with my friend, and reading every omnibus I can get my hands on. Currently reading Dan Abnett’s “The Foundingâ€
I’m pretty big into comic books, or at least I used to be. Now I mostly only look forward to Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s Ultimates. Which means I’m going to be a sad, sad boy for a long, long while. I could go on all day about comic books. For some of my favorites, go to the “Books†section!
I’m not really political, but I have a hard fought opinion on most things. I have a tough time ignoring one side of an argument, so even though I may adamantly believe that something is wrong, I can usually see the other side’s point. This is not a good thing, believe me. I wish I had the conviction of some of those simple minded half-wits out there; it’d make voting a lot easier.
I used to try to convince myself that I could write, but that time has also passed. I used to have a short bit up that I wrote to get myself into character for a Shadowrun 2060 game, but only one person commented on it, and she was underage, and lives in England anyway. So apparently my fan base is one lonely teenage girl in London. Blar. No more writing.
I like the internet. I like reading. The internet is like a book you will never, ever finish reading. If you want a list of good sites, ask me, I’ve got the biggest list of “Favorites†I’ve ever seen.
If you know me, than you probably think my sorry existence means that I’m gay. Well, I’m not. And fuck you for thinking gay people are pathetic and can’t get laid. (Wait… what?) I like girls. Elisha Cuthbert, Adriana Lima, Laetitia Casta, Jenifer Connelly, Kim Smith, the Angelina Jolie, Leelee Sobeski when she isn’t smiling, Alicia Witt, Scarlett Johansson, Megan Fox in her patented pose, Nicole Kidman, Adella, Kate Beckinsale (especially with a partially obscured face), a young, blond, and clean Christina Aguilera, Lauren Sanchez, Keeley Hazel, Kelly Brook, Stacy Haiduk and the epitome of (physical) female perfection- the Nikki Cox of 1995. I really like girls. They’re like a fun hobby. Mostly because I don’t really know any, and that makes them easier to like. I tend to only really like girls who are famous, because that seems to give them more exposure, and you get to see more of them. It really sucks to see one picture of some really hot chick, and never get her name, and never see her again. It just sits there in the pictures folder, taunting you. So I only like famous chicks. I also like redheads. I like pale girls. I like chicks who wear combat boots and carry knifes. I don’t know anyone famous who is all of those, so occasionally, I go outside, just to see if she’s out there somewhere.
I -love- music. I can’t express it any better than that. (I guess that’s why I’m not writing) I can’t go without it. If I’m not listing to something aloud, I’m hearing something in my head. I feel that music can express things that words cannot, but after so many years of being misunderstood, I am slowly learning that I cannot even communicate though music. Why doesn’t anyone speak my language?!
I'd like to meet:
Role-Playing Geeks, Comic Book Nerds, and Hot Goth Chicks.
Also, Redheads. Yeah.
Also, Larry Hama, and Brad Pitt.
(Look, if you want to be my friend, just ask; if you’ve gotten this far I’ll probably say yes. But if you are a pretty girl, you better send a message because I will assume that you’re a spamwhore.)
Music:
I really hate when people just put up an 80 band list with no capitalization, and nothing to separate them but commas. No categories, no reasoning, just blah. It’s too dense, and then no one ends up reading it, and if no one wants to read it, what the hell is the point of putting it up here? YOU know what bands you like. Share with the group.
So, in order to keep this from being an 80 band list with no capitalization, and nothing to separate it but commas, I am going to give you an EXTREMELY distilled look at my clearly superior taste in music. Studio albums only. Which means I don’t get to brag about the fact that I have the first 12 “halos†from Nine Inch Nails, or a crapload of Garbage singles that Dave picked up for me when he was in Scotland. No EP’s , no compilations, “Greatest Hits†or live albums, which always suck any way. Unless you are Pantera, wielding “101 Proofâ€. Hell yeah. These bands are MY best of the best, bands that I have to own the entire collection of. If I don’t have all their CDs, I have to at least have most of them, and plan on getting the rest. So Metallica, whom I correctly recognize as making the Greatest CD Of All Time, with the brain splattering Master Of Puppets is sadly, not on the list. And it wasn’t even for that Metallikats bullshit. At least I bought that album, and loved 90% of it.(But seriously, can you see fucking Pantera or Slayer doing that shit? No fucking way.) But I did not, and do not plan on buying St. Anger. Or anything else they put out. So they’re off. What remains are my Personal Favorites. If you know me well, you can probably name most of them. But NO ONE I’ve ever met could ever name them all.
Which makes me very sad actually. And lonely...
Whatever.
Here are bands so awesome, that I love so much, who mean so much to me, that I would actually PAY for a CD instead of downloading it. Remember, I have to OWN ALL OR MOST OF their STUDIO ALBUMS. And I want the rest, so if you buy them for me, I will give you sexual favors. Assuming you are also Adriana Lima.
Without further ado, and In No Particular Order:
AmbroseKalifornia’s Favorite Bands:
Queens Of The Stone Age: (3/5 owned) A deceptively low number. There’s a reason for that. I first heard of them in a magazine several years ago, and so I downloaded a couple songs, then a few, then everything. So I’ve heard just about everything they’ve done, but the first CD is so rare that it goes for 80 bucks on Amazon. It’s also my favorite CD from them. Ha ha. And while I’ve got these all burnt on CDs somewhere, I love this band so much that I will give them money because that’s the only way I can think of that they will ever really appreciate just how much I love them. I like to pretend that I bought them lunch. This was the first band I listed, and with good reason, I’ve listened to this band more than any other in the last 6 or so years since I heard of them. I can’t tell you how I’ll feel about them in 10 years, but right now, I am so in love with them.
GWAR: (9/10 owned) Well, I guess we can dispense with the pleasant fantasy that I have good taste in music. GWAR is the epitome of bad taste in shock rock; baby raping, necro-bestiality, cross-dressing, and stiffing the waiter. It’s also the funniest band you will ever hear this side of the Bloodhound Gang. But I’m not going to waste any time trying to defend them, you either already love them, or you’ve never heard of them.
Faith No More: (4/6 owned) Awesome. Like just about every other band I like, this band is kaput. But that epic, massive sound they produced in “Angel Dust†has forever left a mark, and Mike Patton, like Bruce Campbell, is just one of those guys who will forever remain cool.
Soundgarden: (5/6 owned) Soundgarden is the closest thing my generation gets to Led Zep. A band with incredibly diverse musical offerings, a band made up of masters of their craft, a band doomed to tear itself apart. Known to most because of their Seattle roots, Soundgarden, like most from that era, didn’t survive all the pressures that the sudden rush of celebrity forced on to them, and serves as another chapter in the sad story of the demise the Seattle scene.
Nirvana: (3/3 owned) Oh, Nirvana. The very name means quite literally “Annihilationâ€. Poor Kurt never had a chance and the story of his doomed soul often overshadows the brilliant music that Kurt, Krist, and (eventually) Dave made, music that really did change the world, if only for a little while. It’s better than you remember, guys. Go crank up “In Utero†and have a smoke, and seethe in wonder at how much more awesome music he could have made if he wasn’t so fixated on death that he named his band after something defined as: “A state of liberation from unhappiness… Nirvana frees one from suffering and fear of death… "The blowing out of a candleâ€â€ Be upset, and then realize that without these self-destructive tendencies, he would never have been who he was, and you’d never have heard his music. And despite his loss, which we are all poorer for, we would have been poorer still if he had not lived the life he did and sacrificed himself to share his music.
Thanks, Kurt. I hope there’s music in Heaven.
Alice In Chains: (3/3 owned) First Kurt, then Layne; I’m getting pretty depressed. If Queens Of The Stone Age is the girl I love now, Alice In Chains is that first kiss, first time, first true love that you never, ever forget. I can’t really describe how it was that I was able to empathize with “Dirtâ€, a CD filled with harrowing tales of heroin addiction, misery and suicide. But I feel personally that it is my favorite CD, surpassing even “Master Of Puppets’†guitar heroics, tales of drug addiction, fear of an inevitable loss of control, insanity, and death, with guitar heroics, tales of drug addiction, fear of an inevitable loss of control, insanity, and death AND unearthly harmonies. The sheer pain and ugliness of life never sounded so beautiful. And it killed Layne too.
Stone Temple Pilots: (5/5 owned) Another early ‘90s band tragically ruined by heroin. But, as of this writing, at least Scott Weiland isn’t dead yet. The band has broken up twice, and is broken up right now, but I’m optimistic about another CD at some time in the future. I will admit that these guys aren’t the artistic geniuses I tend to like my musicians to be, but at least their willingness to patch things up for a buck will mean that I will probably get to enjoy more of their very capable brand of the heroin grunge rock that I do love so much. Also, they remind me of my cousin, who’s musical tastes are so all over the place this band is about all we have in common, musically speaking.
Helmet: (4/6 owned) Finally, an angst-free ‘90s band! Helmet were metal, boy, no doubt there, but they did it their own way, eschewing the standard “rock†accessories of long hair, stupid tattoos, self-indulgent 14 minute drum solos, and the inevitable sellout for pop stardom in the form of a pathetic, spineless, fan-betraying ballad. What they did do is ROCK. Heavy, but not without a rhythm, harder, but never really faster, like a velvet locomotive cast in iron. I don’t even know what the hell that means, but it sounds right.
Toadies: (2/2 owned) I can’t believe I almost forgot these guys. I’ve got lists of stuff to use to update my MySpace page, but somehow these sneaky little nutria made it off the list. But wow, I’ve never heard a band be so creepy with so little effort. Marilyn Manson can creep you out with incredible distortion effects, feed back loops, invocations of apocalyptic revelations, and his biggest super weapon, the bass of Twiggy Ramiez. (Or hell, just Twiggy.) But the Toadies manage to frighten me on a level Marilyn Mason couldn’t touch, hell, even a place Charlie Manson never hit, not even when I read “Helter Skelter†all alone in an empty house late at night with the front door wide open. And they do it with WORDS. No shock, no loud noise to startle, just the growing revelation that what is happening is very, very wrong. It’s the only band who I’ve had to turn off because it scared me.
Garbage: (3/4 owned) I love Garbage. Sweet, sweet, redheaded, beautiful, talented, sultry, redheaded, pale, redheaded Shirley Manson and some guys standing over there too. But seriously, these guys made a great band, and the fact that Butch Vig is such an awesome producer made their first effort the best because it had all the raw emotion and power of a band when it first starts off, and combined it with that same shiny rock polish that he gave Nirvana’s “Nevermind†and Smashing Pumpkins’ “Siamese Dreamâ€. The first CD was an instant classic with songs like “Stupid Girlâ€, “Supervixen†and (*lusts*) “Vowâ€. I used to have the biggest crush on this band, but with distance, I can now see that I like every CD less, and that’s a bad progression. But I still want the new one, because I’m sure it will have at least a couple songs that I love.
Portishead: (2/2 owned) See, you guys suck. I say “Portisheadâ€, and your ignorant ass says, “Who?â€, or worse yet, “Is that that whiny song about how nobody loves her?†Losers. This band is amazing. I admit I wasn’t sold at first, because a good friend with excellent foresight in music told me I’d like it because it “sounds like a rainy dayâ€. Well, I was already into Garbage, and another chick band sing about rain was gonna make me a pretty easy target for any wandering homosexual press gangs. So I passed, but a few years later, I borrowed a Portishead disc from a (gay, oddly enough) friend and I listened and waited for “Sour Times†to come on, and it never did. It was honestly the best thing that ever happened, because, if it was on there I prob’ly would’ve just strip-mined the CD, without ever learning what a complex and deeply satisfying band they are. It’s like that Gorillaz song “Gravityâ€, you can put it on in the background and just chill, or you can really pay attention and enjoy everything. Both ways are correct. As a fun aside, I played this for my mother, who has decent taste in music and also likes Steely Dan (Ha ha! Nailed you, Steely Dan!) So I play this trip-hop/jazz/60’s soul/kitchen sink band for her, and she listens, makes a face and says:
“It’s just not good.â€
Oh well, bands are better if you’re the only one that likes ‘em anyway. Why do you think Weezer, Metallica, NIN, Manson and The White Stripes aren’t on this list? Fame WILL ruin a good band. But isn’t that the way it is… Every goddamn time.
Tool: (5/5) Progressive rock? Post-Metal? Munge?? I don’t know what the hell Tool is supposed to be, but I do know that I need it. Tool is like those books you read and enjoy, but still get the feeling that you’re missing the subtext, and I feel that the band openly hates me for this. While I know I am not smart enough to understand Tool, I am cool enough to enjoy it. And while “10,000 Days†was a disappointing follow up to “Lateralus†(which I *think* is my favorite) I still keep the faith. After all, if every Tool CD has been (incredibly) progressively better, they’re entitled to a slight misstep. Hmm, “progressively†better? I might be on to something…
Filter: (2/3) Oh, my broken heart. If Queens is my new girl, and Alice is my first true love, Filter was the hottest girl in high school, that unfaithful bitch who broke my heart, became a drug addict, got fat, had 3 white trash babies with 3 different fathers and NOW she wants to be “friendsâ€. Whore. Fucking, fucking whore.
We can still be friends, if you want…
The Urge Overkill: (3/5 owned) Man, these guys were awesome. They drank life from martini glasses, had big gold medallions with the band logo on them, had matching jackets with the bands name on them, and even had a secret headquarters (The Bank, which I believe was actually an abandoned bank) in Chicago. They even had the same design, the iconic UO logo, on every CD disc with only the colors changing. From everything I’ve heard these guys wanted to be rock stars as much as I wanted (read: want) to be Wolverine. So of course, like every good 90’s band, with fame came excess, and that excess was drugs. And being rock stars, that drug was heroin. The band soon broke up, but not before releasing the best titled end-of-band-foreshadowing since Soundgarden’s Down On The Upside featured the band all walking off in separate directions. The title?
“Exit the Dragon.†Hells yeah.
Like very, very few bands I’ve ever heard, Urge Overkill got better and better by leaps and bound with every CD. So their final CD was their best, and one of my favorite albums ever. It was so good I want out and bought another copy for a girl I really liked, in hopes that she would recognize their greatness. Unfortunately, she recognized my lameness first, so I still have a sealed copy of this at home, just in case she ever lowers her (non-musical) standards.
Deftones: (3/5 owned) Oooh. Yeah, have you heard of these guys? I am, of course, assuming that you never have. So how best to describe the Def Tones of the Deft Ones? That’s a good question. It’s kind of like bass-heavy urban metal, similar to early Korn, but muddier and with a more distinct guitar tone at the same time. I like the first two Korn CD’s a lot, (don’t ask about the later ones…grrr) but their fretwork never even came close to the level of these guys. But it’s not even the great guitar work that makes this band special. It’s Chino. I’m not usually a big fan of lead singers who don’t play guitar, but Chino Moreno is amazing. He vocals go from dreamy longing, to impassioned needing, to frenic, near-spluttering incoherent… awesomeness. It mind blowing to hear him sing, because you can’t understand it, it’s like some beautiful, horrible alien language. And Oh God does it rock. Chino also stands out because he likes to do haunting, ambient music that doesn’t sound like the Deftones away from the Deftones, so as not to disrupt the fans enjoyment by his musical wanderings. But I gotta admit, the band had been going in a direction I didn’t care for, so I stopped buying, but recently, I heard a track from the new CD that sounded pretty good. I really want to keep liking these guys, since I love them so very much. They scratch an itch that few other bands can. I also heard about them before a lot of other people did, so I feel kind of loyal to them, and I’m willing to give them another chance.
Pantera: (5/5 owned) YES! YES! Someone got it fucking right!! THIS is how you do fucking metal! Metallica lost their nerve, Megadeth has always had their heart elsewhere than kicking ass, and Slayer? Well, Slayer fucking rules, but I only have 3 of their TEN (!) CDs, so I guess it’s me that sucks. But Pantera, oh god, it’s like these guys were all focused on just one thing, and that was showing everyone that metal still mattered, you could fucking ROCK with out having to be smart, clever, rich or even remotely good looking. It is music for those people and if you aren’t one of those, Pantera has nothing to offer you. So walk.
****** ( 6/8) You don’t know who ****** is. You may have heard of ****** but you don’t really care. The only people who know I love ****** are my sisters. I will tell you that I’ve been a fan for over 14 years, which means it was from the 90s, which nearly every band on my list is. I won’t tell you who ****** is, so don’t ask. I wait long and lonely nights for an Aeris to a fortune cookie fortune that looks like Nikki Cox from 1995 to drive up in a red 1997 Dodge Viper with the ’96 yellow wheels playing the 7th song from the fourth CD and asking me in an Irish accent where she can find an In-N-Out Burger because she’s late for role-playing because she slept through her lunch at the comic shop. So you don’t get to know that, because my fantasies are private.
Movies:
These are my favorite movies of all time. I love many more, but every time someone asks me what my favorite movie is, well, it’s Raiders. It’s always Raiders, and it will always be Raiders, but these other movies always pop up.
I want to tell you why I love all of these movies, but go and see them. If you haven’t seen them, I swear to god you will love them, and if you have seen them, you know I’m right.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark
My Five Favorite Movies That Aren’t Raiders Or Star Wars.
Se7en
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Enter The Dragon
The Usual Suspects
The Lion In Winter
Honorable Mentions
Blade Runner, Braveheart, Fight Club, The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy, all of Tim Burton’s work, American History X, The Seven Samurai, all of Quentin Tarentino movies, Spider-Man 2, Rashamon, The Way Of The Gun, Memento, Apt Pupil, Unforgiven, M, Dark City, The Crow, Flesh+Blood, Starship Troopers, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and mother-fucking Bruce Campbell Vs. The Army Of Darkness.
Favorite Genres
Comic Book (dude, it’s totally a genre now)
Action
Historical Fiction
Sci-Fi
Black Comedy (No goddamnit, “Barber Shop†is not what I mean.)
Favorite Directors
Tim Burton
David Fincher
Bryan Singer
Quentin Tarentino
Akira Kurosowa
Favorite Actors
Harrison Ford
Brad Pitt
Edward Norton
Sir Ian McKellan
Kevin Spacey
Samuel Motherfucking L. Jackson
Clint Eastwood
Johnny Depp
Christian Bale
Favorite Actresses
The Angelina Jolie
Mili Avital
Cate Blanchette
Michelle Pfeiffer
Julianne Moore
Kristen Cloake
Jennifer Jason Leigh
Kristiana Loken / Michelle Rodriguez (For the same reason; they both bring this powerful, badass screen presence, without diminishing the fact that they’re women and that’s what I love about them. Still, I wouldn’t describe them as versatile. I don’t think I could ever see them as anything other that a Viking Warrior Queen, or The Really Badass Mexican Chick Who Hurts People.)
Jenifer Connelly/Nicole Kidman/Scarlett Johansson in Girl With A Pearl Earring (All for the same reason, but this time it’s just because they’re so pretty that I can just watch them onscreen for two hours and walk away completely satisfied with their performance. Really good actresses, yes, but Jesus! Look at them! Still they’re on the list because I respect them as actresses.)
Favorite Voice Actors
David Hayter- Solid Snake, Metal Gear Solid Series
Kevin Conroy- Batman, Batman: The Animated Series
Cal Dodd- Wolverine, X-Men, Capcom Video Games
David Keith- Goliath, Gargoyles
Mark Hamil- The Joker, Batman: The Animated Series
25 Favorite Character Actors
These guys aren’t usually given the lead roles, but their mere presence enhances a film quality immeasurably, in my estimation. If some one asks my about a movie, one if the major selling points will be that if has these guys, doing what they do best. A small, well acted role that gives the movie a much higher coolness factor. They get bonus points for dying, (Happens often) super bonus points for being the only one to survive. (Never happens!) Here are actors who better every picture they’re in. If the names aren’t familiar, IMBD them, and then say, “Oh, THAT guyâ€. Alphabetical order.
Brian Thompson
Bruce Campbell
Christopher Walken
Clancy Brown
Danny Trejo
David Wenham
Jean Reno
Joe Pantiliano
John Rhys-Davies
Michael Biehn
Michael Madsen
R. Lee Ermy
Ray Park
Raymond Cruz
Roger Howarth!
Ron Perlman
Sam Elliot
Steve Buscemi
Taekeshi Kitano
Tom Sizemore
Udo Kier
Ving Rhames
Vinnie Jones
Willem Dafoe
William Forsythe
Favorite Composers
This is kind of a joke, because the music for ever movie score I’ve ever loved has been written by either John Williams or Danny Elfman. Their works are many and varied, and never ever fail to impress. Look over their resumes, I’ll bet you there’s at least one piece you like that you didn’t know they did. There are other great movie composers, like Ennio Morricone, but these two are in a class of their own.
Special Star Wars CategoryOh, yes, I love The Star Wars Saga. Yes, even the new ones. So much has been written and said about Star Wars that there is very little I can add to the discussion that hasn’t already been said and debated. But watch them if you haven’t. Try to forget the over hyped moneymaking machines they’ve become, just ignore the millions of rabid fanboys who think you need to know the exact measurement of the Super Star Destroyer, and don’t compare it to anything else that has come before or after until after you’ve seen them all. There’s a reason so many people love this move so very much. Grab some munchies, turn the lights way down, turn the sound way up, sit back and let George Lucas and his friends do what movies were always meant to do.
Television:
I am a big fan of cancelled T.V. shows, because than I can tell everyone (including my self) how great they were and no one can disagree with me. Here are some of the best shows, (omitting the more obvious series) ones that I would buy on DVD. In order of me remembering them.
Exo-Squad: This show was first on the list, because when I think of TV I like, this is always the first show that comes to mind. An incredibly well plotted American animated series that centered on the themes of betrayal, slavery, sacrifice and duty. Good characters, great setting, and good voice acting. It also had guys piloting badass suits of powered armor, flying around in space, and blowing shit up, which always equals awesome. It also translated in to the best toy line since G.I. Joe, and one day when I am rich, I will have them all.
Vengeance Unlimited: A short lived series about Mr. Chapel, played by the always cool Michael Madsen, offering to help people solve their problems for either a 1,000,000 dollars or a simple favor. I don’t think he ever got the money. It was funny, interesting in that he never used guns, and best of all, the end was always resolved in a very clever, non-lethal way. Which is nice, considering that this IS Mr. Blonde.
The State: A hilarious skit comedy show that was popular because it was the 90’s, but the cast broke up for reasons that I would guess to be creative differences, and reason that sounds suspect for anyone except the Beatles. But I buy it. Mostly because cast continued to work together on stuff like “Viva Varietyâ€, “Reno 911â€, “The Tenâ€, and “Wet Hot American Summerâ€, none of which I have watched. And there’s “Stellaâ€, which I have. Pretty funny, but it’s not for everyone.
Æon Flux: Really great trippy sci-fi by Peter Chung. It’s about an assassin/spy/terrorist/fetish footwear model who fights/loves/manipulates Trevor Goodchild the despotic overlord/savior of the neighboring country. I first caught Æon on MTV’s animation buffet “Liquid Television†where she died in like, every episode, and then I saw the series, where she didn’t die, but everything made less sense. Really, really, should have been played by Angelina Jolie in a movie, because she is angular and unsettling, not to mention a perfect fit for the part mentally. And as an aside, Kelly Brook shoulda played Lara Croft.
Sifl And Olly: Rock. Sifl and Olly was like a sketch comedy/public access/variety show, only hosted by sock puppets. And funny. Really funny, like clenched-fist-pounding-your-thigh-to-stop-laughing-so-hard-b ecause-you-can't-breathe-anymore funny, but like all the really cool things on MTV it want away fairly quickly.
Wonder Showzen: (see also: TV Funhouse) A nightmare acid trip disguised as a children’s television show. Brilliant for being able to shock in a world where no one is shocked anymore. Also, the last of my disturbingly long list of MTV programming. Sorry Headbanger’s Ball!
Gargoyles: The best thing Disney had ever done. (Maybe their interpretation of “The Jungle Book†is cooler, but it doesn’t have the same depth. Also, they stole the characters) Glowing eyes, sharp teeth, claws that can rend steel and giant leathern bat wings that let you swoop down upon your foes like the devil himself just add to the difficulty of blending in in modern Manhattan. The heroes are a clan of Scottish gargoyles that were imprisoned in their stone forms for a thousand years by a vengeful magus, and were revived as part of a plot by billionaire industrialist David Xanatos. The series went on for only a few seasons before the original creators left the show, but in that span they encountered paramilitary special forces, gigantic flying helicarriers, robotic doppelgangers, characters plucked from Shakespearean lore, a group of cyberneticly enhanced television action stars, the aforementioned angry Archmagus, heroes of Arthurian legend, and an immortal Scotsman who doesn’t make you wish his name was MacLeod. Wonderful show, go watch it now.
Iron Chef (Original Japanese Flavor) : This is a show I heard about a while before I saw, mostly because didn’t watch the Food Network back then. But when I finally got around to watching it, I was blown away. It’s a competition cooking show, where the eccentric billionaire Takeshi Kaga, Chairman of the Gourmet Academy, handpicked his “Invincible Men Of Culinary Skill†to battle in his “Kitchen Stadiumâ€. These “Iron Chefs†were to take on all comers, and rarely lost. The best part though was the mood, despite the incredibly pageantry, it was all very serious, and it was like watching a performance for royalty, crossed with commentary straight out of an American sporting event. It was so good that even though the American version is hosted by the culinary super-genius Alton Brown, it still loses.
Molto Mario: What the Punisher is to modern firearms, Mario Batalli is to Italian cuisine. Super specialized to the point that you can’t imagine he has room in his brain for anything else, but with an encyclopedic knowledge that is not just limited to knowledge, but devastatingly effective applications. Loved by noted curmudgeon Anthony Bourdain. Okay, have you ever seen Giada DeLaurentis? She’s Hollywood-movie-producer rich, and an Italian chef who graduated from Le Courdon Bleu. And she’s gorgeous. Thin, petite really, and beautiful, with waves of lovely brown hair and just amazing cleavage. By contrast, Mario Batalli looks like a red-head Kevin Smith without the animal sex appeal. And he wears some seriously short-bus safety-orange rubber clogs. So I want you to understand what I mean when I say I would rather have dinner with Mario Batalli than Giada. He is that awesome.
A Cook’s Tour: This was a cool show that came on the (surprise) Food Network but at the sorry time slot of one-o-clock in the morning on Tuesdays. It was a great show, and it came on with this fun little show called “The Food Hunter†about a portly little Englishman who also traveled the world in search of the best produce in season from whatever country it originated. Fun. Portly Pete, as I never called him, was the interesting chap who turned me on to what a Durian is. So, thanks, I think. Anyway, this Bourdain guy was a New York City tough who grew listing to the Ramones, doing lots of drugs and generally wasting his life like a stupid teenager. Only this stupid teenager grew up to be the soux chef of New York’s famous Bratesserie Les Halles. He spent his adult life behind a stove, and when he got older, he wrote a book about it. This book, “Kitchen Confidentialâ€, made him famous and led to a TV show. Bourdain wisely exploited this show by making a show where he got to TRAVEL places and eat food. This show was awesome, and thirty minutes long.
Space: Above And Beyond: Pretty upset I forgot abut this one. I’m intentionally leaving off more popular (well, in geek circles anyway) shows like Star Trek: The Next Generation, Babylon 5, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, mighty, mighty Firefly, and lots of other nerdy TV staples so that I could focus on the little shows I really liked. So even though I was a big fan of sci-fi, I know that (at least on the internet) it is very well represented. But this overlooked little show is a gem of canceled-too-soon-sci-fi. It’s about a group of U.S. Marines fighter pilots in a we-have-space ships-future setting. But they aren’t just fighter pilots; our heroes are MARINES (and had to deal with R. Lee Ermy in the pilot to prove it!) and being that they get a lot of grunt missions too. It was a show full of promise, and was made with a long term view of things, so that in the first season, as much time was devoted to developing the characters as the shooting and exploding. Which I guess is maybe a big reason the series died so quickly. No great series goes unwatched. It had a good cast, but the stand out actress for me was Kristen Cloake, who was pretty, yes, but she has this, this thing to her, that made me feel funny every time I looked at her. She was tough, but not as badass as Michelle Rodriguez. She was pretty, but she was no supermodel. She was just, I don’t know, very cool, and incredibly attractive. It might have been the name. I can’t explain it. Oh well. Great show, great cast, great writing, great producers, great ship designs, great plot, great potential, and what do you get? Another entry on my “Favorite Cancelled Shows†list. I hate everyone.
Kindred: The Embraced: Okay, I’m gonna try to make this the last one, but I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this in one setting, and I though the “last one†was gonna be four shows ago, so who knows? All right. Kindred: The Embraced. What: The Fuck? Right. Chances are excellent that you wouldn’t know or care what this show is unless you are already a fan. “Kindred†is another word for vampire, it’s what the vampires in the series call themselves. “The Embrace†is the act of a vampire making a human a vampire. The pretentious Undefined Word: The Nonsensical Context Word format is courtesy of Mark Rein•Hagen (pretentious “•â€Â® © & tm 4 8 Mark Rein•Hagen) creator of Vampire: The Masquerade Werewolf: The Apocalypse, Wraith: The Oblivion, Mummy: The Resurrection, Changeling: The Dreaming, Hunter: The Reckoning and Magic: The Gatheri- No, wait. THAT one wasn’t him. Anyway, what the hell am I talking about? Role-Playing Games. It’s like a cross between improv theatre and a board game, but without boards. In these books, collectively set in a universe/setting called the “World Of Darkness†you can play a vampire, werewolf, ghost, mummy, fairy, or vampire/monster hunter. These role-playing games gained popularity and notoriety in the 80’s when every slack-jawed mouth-breather with a dragon fetish was playing D&D, or Dungeons & Dragons. The “World Of Darkness†was the tragically hip, ostentatiously literate, morbidly pessimistic game that showed me just how angsty and gothic characters I had previously associated with Universal horror movies and General Mills cereal could be. It was grim and gritty, the epitome of 1990’s zeitgeist. (Now who’s being ostentatious?) Of course I fell in love. Like a teenage girl and her stupid poetry, I though angst made the material more important. It doesn’t. But the setting and emphasis on intrigue and subterfuge makes in an appealing counterpoint to “hack ‘n slash†gaming like D&D. So an Aaron Spelling soap opera with impossibly beautiful, preening, decadent, social vampires makes perfect sense, Right? Right. But no one watched it. I guess it came out too long after Interview With The Vampire to be a big hit, but for an Aaron Spelling soap opera, it was pretty good. The entire cast was really good looking, (even the Nosferatu!) but the two main female characters… Let’s put it this way. One was a beautiful, pale, leather wearing vampire with green eyes and long, curly, red hair and a very impressive set of- uh… attitudes. And she was the LESS attractive one. God. I need those on DVD.
Ha-HA!! I remembered more!!!
High Incident: This was a really well cast, well written, major network prime-time police drama that managed to be tough and emotional. I was relevant to the times, but I’ll bet it would still hold up to day. It introduced me to one of my favorite character actors, David Keith, (not to be confused with Keith David) and really was one of the best television dramas I’ve ever seen. What happened? Stupid people like Jenifer Anistion. Fuck you, Friends.
American Gothic: As a rule, I hate horror. It’s lowbrow, and the over reliance on scare tactics such as jump scenes and excessive gore are beneath me. Plus it’s scary. I hate scary. Well, that not entirely true. Scary me without a sudden scream and a lousy dismemberment. Silence of the Lambs was scary, and didn’t rely on cheap tricks, and I loved that movie. This is no Silence, but what is? Still, I remember this show well enough to want to pick it up on DVD. And that’s pretty much the biggest criterion on this list.
Dark Skies: Man, talk about potential. This series had more potential that just about any project I’d ever heard of at the time. Bryce Zable, the creator of Dark Skies had a simple idea: alien conspiracy. This was when the X-Files was still huge, so it sounded like a great idea. Hi series concept was even better.
Aliens exist. And they are already here.
When you ask? Roswell. They landed and the government knew about it. And that where the series starts. In the 1950’s, during the early Cold War and in the era of the Red Scare. It was going to progress, through out time, as the seasons went on to show how the secret alien menace had been behind-- everything! Aliens killed JFK!! Death ray on the grassy knoll! Well maybe not, but it would have been awesome to see what their version of history would have turned out to be. Such a great idea, and it did make it on the air, but it was too ambitious. The budget just couldn’t handle the expense of such a huge concept, and it died without ever show the world what REALLY happened. Also, I think part of the reason I like Elisha Cuthbert so much is because she reminds me of Megan Ward. And they both remind me of Invisible Woman. Not that slut Jessica Alba.
The Untouchables: This was a 1993 series based on the events covered by the original series with Robert Stack and the film of the same name. You know the set up, square G-Man Eliot Ness and his band of “Untouchables†showdown against Snarky Capone on the mean streets of Prohibition-era Chicago. So with those two excellent interpretations of the bootleg liquor wars why the hell would I watch a TV show with no big names? (Tom Amandes as Ness!) Simple: It was GOOD. And it was on really late, which is when I usually watched TV. It also featured TWO of my favorite character actors, John Rhys-Davies and William Forsythe. That’s better than most shows on this list!
Shit that ain’t been canceled yet:
Yet, because I love these shows and watch them every chance I get, and that means they Will Be Cancelled. That’s right, because of me in two years people are gonna be like, “Hey, remember professional football? That shit was cool, what ever happened to it?â€
Good Eats: A knuckle-draggingly simple title for an incredibly complicated show. Alton Brown (or A.B.) is a cross between Beakman from “Beakman’s World†and a walking, talking cooking encyclopedia. Probably the smartest man in food. His show is a fascinating mix of cooking know-how and hard science, often explained with diagrams, props, or even puppets. The most educational show you or your children will ever enjoy.
Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) : Sometimes, when no one is looking, I am a boy. I’m not proud of it, but it is genetic. And being a boy, I like to watch people get the shit beat out of them. Because that’s what boys like. Tits and ass-beatings. I also like to the shit-talking drama-fest “The Ultimate Fighterâ€. It’s usually got a pretty good fight, and the dramatic over-emoting appeals to the gay soap opera watching side of me. As for favorite fighters, it always changes, but last time I checked, which was like early 20.07 I liked Diego “The Nightmare†Sanchez, Matt Hughes, Stephen Bonner, Grey Maynard, Luke Cummo, Shone Motherfucking Carter, Jens Pulver, and despite the wear and tear, Ken Shamrock. After seeing the Coture-Silvia match, I am proud to include Randy "The Natural" Coture on my list of favorites. He's become the wandering figher archetype, like Ryu from Street Fighter III, tireless, ageless, and endlessly searching for perfection. I hate many, many, more fighters.
National Football League (NFL) : Okay, lets get this outta the way. I was born, and will die a Raider fan. So fuck you all. Also, Howie Long’s black number 75 is the only sports jersey I would ever, ever wear. And I hate jerseys, and just about everyone that wears them and isn’t paid to. So yeah, Darth Raiders For Fucking Life. That being said, I do also like to watch teams that win, and I currently follow the local favorites, L.T. and the San Diego Chargers, and like to cheer on the Colt’s because Dave loves Peyton “Laser, rocket arm†Manning. But my truest love of the sport comes in watching Brett Favre. (F-a-v-r-e. Pronounced “Awesomeâ€) There is just something about that guy that makes him a natural leader in a game that really defines TEAMwork. In a world filed with sports superstars only concerned with themselves, their endorsement deals, and their bling-bling, Brett Favre really, really takes it for the team. Loss after loss, the man has no quit in him. He hasn’t missed a game since the mid 90’s. A football game. Have you ever played football? It’s like war, with pads. People are horrible wounded on a semi regular basis, and that includes Favre. But he never misses a game. He got his hand broke. He never missed a game. He became addicted to the painkillers he needed to take for his hand so he could play with out screaming like a little girl. He didn’t miss a game. He had to tell the world about his addiction and go to rehab. He still didn’t miss a game. His own father DIED and Brett still wouldn’t abandon his team, playing the very next day, and going out and handing my Raiders an epic asswhipping that many consider to be one of the greatest performances in NFL history and dedicating to his father. I really wanted to see him play before I died, but this will probably be his last season. But the man is the single greatest player to put on a football uniform, and I will probably cry when he retires. UPDATE! Brett Favre came back from an abysmal 4-14 seanon in 2005, with many saying that he should retire, Favre lead the Pack to a excellent 13-3 season, getting as far as the NFC Championship game before finally faltering. His decision to return is another season is unknown at this time, but I'll bet he comes back!
The Boondocks: Great show, best thing on Cartoon Network since Robot Chicken. I love Robot Chicken, but everyone loves Robot Chicken. You should watch the Boondocks. Brilliant social commentary, excessive use of the dreaded “N-wordâ€, and sometime you even get anime fights! Also, the best cast of reoccurring characters outside of Springfield. Gangstalicious, Uncle Ruckus, Gin Rummy, the motherfucking Health Inspector (“Dropped the soap, nigger!â€) and, of course, A Pimp Named Slickback. No, no, not “Slickbackâ€, it’s “A Pimp Named Slickbackâ€. It’s like “A Tribe Called Questâ€, you say the whole thing.
Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations: The same guy from “A Cook’s Tourâ€. These two shows have the same host, and almost exactly the same format, but were produced by two different companies, The Food Network, and The Discovery Channel’s Travel Channel. “A Cook’s Tour†was a modest hit before it was cancelled but enough that it made him famous and led to another TV show. Bourdain wisely exploited this show by making a show where he got to travel places and eat FOOD. This show was awesome, and sixty minutes long.
MythBusters: Mad scientists. Kari Byron. That is all.
Wild West Tech: Man, this is a great show. I love this show so much, it’s probably cancelled. WWT was originally hosted by Keith Carradine, but in true western fashion, he lost his contract to his brother… in a card game. His brother? Kill Bill’s Bill, David Carradine! So this made an already great series even better. Wild West Tech comes on the History Channel; fitting for a show focused on bring you the true life exploits of the most unsavory characters in the Old West. But the tech, that’s the clincher. See it shows you how technology changed the era by detailing the inner working of whatever item the tale involves. For instance, there was an episode about massacres. (Yeah, all the episodes were miserable; shootouts, massacres, hookers and freak shows. Good stuff.) Anyway, the first massacre the covered was about immigrant workers striking for better working and living conditions. (WWT detailed the shitty houses) The strike escalated rather quickly into an armed conflict. (WWT detailed the shitty guns) Shots were exchanged, and the two sides split up before too much damage could be done. (WWT detailed how the women and children dug holes under their house’s dirt floors to hide from the bullets) The next day however, big business showed what it though of workers rights. The brought an automobile into the fray, but one with big sheets of steel mounted on the sides and cargo area, thus creating the first armored car. (WWT gleeful detailed the assembly of this then-nightmarish creation, and its potential for destruction) But like all western tales, this has a happy ending, the cavalry arrives. The actual U.S. Cavalry. So, naturally, meriting some technological description was the water cooled Gatling gun the soldiers brought into battle with them. Graft and corruption not being a modern invention, the troops were sent by the governor, who was firmly in the pocket of big business meaning the Gatling gun was, of course, used to kill the poor workers. They also burnt down the houses for good measure, killing the women and children inside. Yay, unchecked capitalism!
Mail Call/ Futureweapons/ Everything on the History, Discovery, and Military Channel: Yeah, wars rule. Put that in you pipe and smoke it, you shit-brained hippie. Violence solves everything.
Books:
Words. I like words. You must like words too, if you’ve read this long. Thanks by the way. This content took me -months- to type out by dragging my knuckles over the keyboard until coherent speech formed. “Me like MUSIC. Music loud. Loud am good.†That was the first draft I believe. Anyway, we’ve reached the circle of hell labeled books, and now I get to bore you with what I like to read.
First and foremost, Larry Hama: Without a doubt my favorite writer and the primary male role model throughout my early years, despite my never having had the opportunity to meet him. Don’t let the ruin of my life drive you away, though, he is by all accounts a good man. A veteran, an expert marksman who enjoys carrying concealed firearms, an actor, and the lead singer in a rock band. He has written, drawn and edited for Marvel Comic since the late 70’s, having worked on such titles as The Savage Sword of Conan, Crazy, The Avengers Spider-Man, Shang Chi, Master Of Kung Fu, Star Wars, Sabertooth, Venom, Generation X, an acclaimed run on The ‘Nam and a definitive run on Wolverine. He is also the creator of Bucky O’Hare, The Nth Man, and Recondo Rabbit. However, Larry Hama is most notable for being the creator of G.I. Joe. He wrote the entire 155-issue (That’s over TEN years!!) Marvel run and also wrote the 28 issue G.I. Joe: Special Missions series. He was also the writer of all the file cards that came with each figure, giving a countless amount of figures a home, specialty, and personality that children could identify with. He continues to do work in the comic field, with occasional G.I. Joe related work, and writing graphic novel adaptations of important historical battles such as Antietam, Guadalcanal, and Shiloh. It’s notable that his writings center on characters first, and then what happens as a consequence of who they are, rather than the day’s action plot happening and they show up. It’s been said of even bit characters, throw away vehicle drivers for instance, that of some one had made a character with that much depth today, Hollywood would make a TV mini series out of him.
Stephen Coonts: When I was much younger, my mother was grocery shopping and for no reason at all, bought me a novel. I read a lot as a kid, but it was mostly technical manuals on WWII aircraft or stuff about NASA in the 50’s, not big boring books with hundreds of pages and no jets. But there WAS a jet on the cover, and to my surprise, I didn’t recognize it! You have to understand I was a lot smarter as a kid then I am now, what with being past my service life and all. But back than I knew more about the workings of secret military prototype aircraft that you do about your car. So a plane I had never seen sounded pretty good. Stephen Coonts, I later found out, was a naval aviator during the Vietnam war, so we had a real-life jet pilot writing about aircraft I never knew existed! (And theorized, by the appearance of the fuselage, that such an airframe was unrealistic and dangerously unstable) Oh, but this book was not really about planes. It was much more than mere planes. This was the first novel I read to have deeply flawed characters, detailed scenes of espionage, sex, swearing, a serious look at how the world really works, and the truth about who you could really trust in government. (Hint: No one) Of course, I was hooked; there was something about the writer that I really enjoyed, past the exciting plot and sexy pilots. Something about the way he used the word “grinnedâ€. I’d never seen that word used outside of children’s books, and I never used either. I realized I just like the author. That’s not very easy to do in a fast paced techno thriller. Ask Tom Clancy. And when I read a non-fiction book he wrote about his son and himself just flying around in a rickety old bi-plane, I realized that I would buy every novel he wrote for the rest of my life.
The plane by the way, was made up. Never got over that. I became very suspicious of book covers after that.
Tom Clancy: C’mon, this guy has sold more books than King James for a reason. Simply put, Tom Clancy writes the best plots in the world. There is no better plotter writing books today, and he’s probably the best plotter since Machiavelli. His books are long, some people would say too long. I disagree. He just tells more complicated stories than every one else. Every time I talk about him, I mention this one book where he goes in detail (for an entire chapter!) about how gas caps are made for late model import cars. He describes the entire assembly line and most of the people working on it on it in such plodding detail that you feel like screaming and throwing the book through a window. I think I read that book, and stopped reading at that point. Stupid was I. Because, later, when I got bored and reread it, gas caps are later shown, in a horrible series of absolutely believable chain-reactions to cause an immense amount of trouble. I can’t say more with out spoiling. Go read his books.
P.J. O’Rourke: You ever get into an argumen- er, discussion with someone about *anything* and walk away changing your mind? Me neither. I disagree politically with so much about everything this guy believes in that we might as well be from two different countries. (That’s what makes this country great!) But this guy, who I originally noticed writing about deep-fried pickles in a music magazine, he made me re-think my political and social values. I now own all but two of his books in hardcover.
Not change my mind, mind you, but THINK. And isn’t that what all great writers should do?
Kurt Vonnegut Jr. : I hate everything and everyone, and always have, so it shocked no one when I dropped out of school. But having dropped out of school, I have had little to no exposure to classical literature. This means my idea of cultured, informed writings involve Batman beating up Superman, or Peter Parker whining about girls. So it usually surprises me that I read anything where the main character doesn’t fight crime. But one of my favorite characters in a Stephen Coots novel was a big fan of Kurt Vonnegut, so I had always planned to check him out some day. That day came when stuck in some county facility or another I saw a book by KVJ. It was called “Breakfast of Championsâ€. I thought it was an odd title for a book, so I started reading it. Three pages in I see a drawing of what looks to be an oversized asterisk (*) only to find out it was a crude drawing of the author’s asshole. And then it got weird. Needless to say, he is one of my favorite authors. Go read his books.
Dan Neil: Dan Neil is the auto columnist at the Los Angeles Times. This may seem an odd choice for a favorite author, but just read.
Los Angeles Times- Highway One- Dan Neil
See?
Black Lizard Crime Fiction: This is a Random House imprint that reprints old post war era crime fiction. Dash Hammet, Ray Chandler, James M. Cain, and the guy who wrote a book called “The Name Of The Game Is Deathâ€. I first noticed that book because the title was so goofy, and because the college bookstore had several copies for a dollar. Being an employee of said bookstore, I didn’t have a spare dollar, so I bugged my boss until she gave me one. To my complete surprise, it was excellent, and now I buy them whenever I see them, and it’s the first thing I look for when I hit a used bookstore.
Star Wars Novels: Yeah, I know it nerdy, and worse, it’s EU, so it might not even count, but the Star Wars books will always have one thing putting them in the permanent win column. The Timothy Zhan Thrawn Trilogy. These three books, done when Star Wars was still important only to people like me basically reignited the franchise, generating more fan interest, then more books, which meant more money, which meant more interest, which snowballed in to another movie trilogy, which led to Star Wars dominating the world again. All from three little books. Well, not little, the scope and span of these novels makes it a better adventure that just about anything else anyone can ever come up with. John William’s music practically sings in your head when you read about the far off starports and thrilling space battles, and the characters are more true to themselves than anyone but George Lucas could write them. And the villain! Grand Admiral Thrawn is the best fictional villain since Keyser Söze. Forget the prequels, this is the second trilogy George Lucas should have made.
Warhammer 40,000: I don’t need to write anything. You need just to read this:
It is the 41st millennium. For more than a hundred centuries the Emperor has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. He is the master of mankind by the will of the gods, and the master of a million worlds by the might of his inexhaustible armies. He is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. He is the Carrion Lord of the Imperium for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that he may never truly die.
Yet even in his deathless state, the Emperor continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the warp, the only route between distant starts, their way lit by the Astronomican, the psychic manifestation of the Emperor’s will. Vast armies give battle in his name on uncounted worlds. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Marines, bio-engineered super-warriors. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Imperial Guard and countless planetary defence forces, the ever-vigilant Inquisition and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants - and worse.
To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruellest and most bloody regime imaginable. There are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
(Old)World Of Darkness: This refers to the huge amount of fiction published by White Wolf, the Role Playing Game company. There has been a significant amount of ink spilled about the characters that inhabit the World. I’ve read several chunky anthologies, and a few novels, including Jeff’s 13-part Clan Novel Saga. All good stuff, but make sure you’re into what you’re reading, otherwise whining vampires get old real fast.
Comic Books: Many, many comic books. If you like comic books, we will always be friends, but you will have to endure long winded discussions about why Captain America can beat up Batman. Here are a few of my favorite titles, (Omitting the more obvious series) along with their defining creative teams. INPO
G.I. Joe, G.I Joe: Special Missions: Writer: Larry Hama Pencilers: Michael Golden, Ron Wagner, Larry Hama, Mike Zeck, M.D. Bright, Rod Whigham, Herb Trimpe, John Statema, Andrew Wildman, many others
Warlock, Silver Surfer, Thanos Quest, The Infinity Gauntlet, Warlock and the Infinity Watch, ect.: Writer/ Artist/ Creator: Jim Starlin Pencilers: Ron Lim, George Perez, Angel Medina, Tom Raney.
Watchmen: Writer: Alan Moore Artist: Dave Gibbons
Wolverine: (Regular series): Writer: Larry Hama Pencilers: Marc Silvestri, Adam Kubert, Mark TEX Texeria.
Wolverine (Limited Series): Writer: Chris Claremont Penciler: Frank Miller Miller
Sin City: Writer/ Artist/ Creator: Frank Miller
The Dark Knight Returns: Writer/ Artist: Frank Miller
Bone: Writer/ Artist/ Creator: Jeff Smith
Kingdom Come: Writer: Mark Waid Artist: Alex Ross
Marvels: Writer: Kurt Busiek Artist: Alex Ross
The Ultimates: Writer: Mark Millar Artist: Bryan Hitch
The Life And Death Of Captain Marvel: Writer/ Artist/ Creator: Jim Starlin
Punisher War Zone: Writers: Chuck Dixon Artist: John Romita Jr.
The Punisher Armory: Writer/ Artist/ Concept: Elliot R. Brown
The Nth Man: Writer/ Creator: Larry Hama Penciler: Rod Wagner
Ultimate Fantastic Four: Writer: Warren Ellis Artists: Adam Kubert, Greg Land
Heroes:
Heroes. Larry Hama is my hero. John McCain is a national hero and children should have posters of him on their walls. I used to have something cute here about Cap and Wolvie, and Batman, but then something terrible happened. I had a friend, from high school. We used to screw around doing all the stupid things kids do at that age, and when we both quit school, we sorta lost touch. Then he went and joined the Army. I only saw him a few times after that, but we were, I still tell myself often, friends. When we saw each other, it was like no time had ever passed. But I hadn’t seen him since, like 1998. A lot of time had passed, and I would think of him occasionally, but, honestly, not often. What I’m trying to say, is I was a bad friend. A real piece of shit.
So it was a total shock, when one day I happened to be reading the Times, and I came across his name.
In the obituary section.
There was a war going on, and that fact wasn’t lost on me. But I never looked him up. I could have tried to get a hold of him with the internet. But I didn’t. So now I get to know my very own, very personal hero.
SSgt. Christopher R. Webb died for his country doing the right thing, out on patrol, hunting for the bad guys who wanted to hurt our guys. As a Staff Sergeant he was doing the work of a Captain, in a testament to how hard our troops are working over there, and how spread thin they really are. He is and always will be the first man I think of when I hear the word hero.
Look, I don’t know how long I’ll have this version of my page up, but right now were in a war. There are men and women thousands of miles from home, scared and lonely, watching over you while you sleep. These people are your heroes. I don’t care what kind of problems you have with your political affiliations, these soldiers have earned respect. Always make sure to keep this in mind, and them in our hearts.
