JOHNS

I am Hoopty, hear me roar! I like to smile wide and give rides to friends in my gigantic blue van, which you may or may not have seen barrelling down the streets of the best city in the entire country, in my opinion, this fair city of CincinNATI. But, don't get me wrong, I'm not that nice of a guy. I have a dark side that comes out on occassion. You will know this dark side when you see it; the sinister laugh, the dishevled hair that falls over my menacing eyes...oh you will know it when you see it. But generally, "About ME", what can I say? I'm just a wholesome guy, I like architecture and I don't want to be an architect. My best friends are these guys I met when i was 2 years old, we're still best friends. I mean, wouldn't you want to know someone like me? I'm loyal as hell. On Sundays I like to get drunk by noon and read the NY Times. It's just this ritual that I've perfected over the years, it serves me and my compatriots well. To know that I can read while I'm drunk and form opinions and make judgements and deduce information from sources outside of my own mind, this is the fruit of life for me, nothing better than this really, if you ask me. Well, I will stop this incoherent rambling now because I know you're already super interested in me and if all that didn't elevate your opinion of me, I should also let you know that I have the best haircut in all of creation.