an over-achiever Home from an early age, I mastered the art of Feng Shui at the age of eleven after studying with Sao Choi Mungbean at Oxford University. My parents were understandably estactic.
Not being one to brag, I will avoid going into all my other youthful achievements but it is worth keeping in mind that I am bordering on genius level ability when it comes to -
* Playing Uno
* Sketching
* Guitar twanging
* Billy Ray Cyrus impersonations
* Reciting the Book of Revelations - in pig latin - from memory.
* Designing erotic apparel for society's plumper ladies.
Even more impressively, I am a champion Scrabble player despite losing both my eyes in a tragic fly fishing accident.
