RAWR! Whut up Ninjas?!
Alright, let's start with the basics ... I'm 18 and from Liverpool, and live in a shit part of it called Garston with my mum and dad. I used to go to SFX (Saint Francis Xaviers College, to those who wanna know what it is), and I was there all the way up until 6th form basically. I did the first year of 6th form, but failed so decided not to re-sit so I just left and then I did nothing for a year, which was fun at first but was then boring and I needed a job. I got my first and current job at the end of July in WH Smith in Liverpool Airport, the hours can be kind of annoying, but the job itself is fine. My main interests are gaming, music and football, and hanging out with Campbell, Ian and Dean whenever possible. I have the best friends anyone could ever want, even though I don't know some of them personally, and I also have the best girlfriend anyone could ever want (information about her is below), so I guess I am one lucky guy.
Ok, now that the basics are out of the way, we'll go into more detailed information about me and my life. My childhood was awesome, the days of Kintore Road, just generally fun every single day, those are the days that stay in your heart forever, and will always be missed memories, and if a reunion eventually happens like planned, then yay, it'll be awesome, but woah, I'm saying this like I don't keep in touch with any of them, when that's just wrong. We do still keep in touch, we just don't hang about anymore and all went our own ways, but they're always gonna be in my heart no matter what happens as time goes on.
About half way through secondary school, the old me just went away, I really don't know what happened to me, and I guess I was possibly one of the biggest assholes you would ever meet. Anyone who tried to get to know me would be pushed away, I generally just tried to make people feel like shit, because I felt like there was nothing for me, so wanted them to feel the way I did. I lost a few friends during that time period, but some of them stuck by me, even though I was a complete bastard, so much respect to them, looking back on that time, it must have been real hard for them. I'd say, 2005 - late 2007, was the time all this happened, and I regret the person I was back then, I know it won't bring some of them people back into my life, but I am sorry for the way I treated them. After believing for all that time that there was nothing for me, Jocelynn came into my life, and I tried to push her away, like I did to everyone else, but she wouldn't leave me alone, she knew that the real me was deep inside me somewhere, and she wouldn't leave me alone until she got to know the real me, and she eventually did. Jocelynn helped me change my life and helped me get my life back on track, even after the shit I put her through, not only do I love her, but I'm actually thankful that she was there for me and never gave up.
As well as Jocelynn, someone else had a huge impact upon me, and also helped me to change who I was, and that person was God. I went through life believing there was never going to be anything for me and hating anyone who I came across, but even through all that, I never lost my faith in God and never stopped loving him, even though I sometimes felt he wasn't there for me. January 2008, is when I officialy changed the person I was, I had Jocelynn's love keeping me strong but I still regretted my past and all the shit I put people through. Then something weird happened, and I don't care if people throw bullshit comments at me or call me crazy for saying it, but god visited me, and I know for a fact he did. I was sitting there at the computer, and suddenly felt weird and kept getting visions of my past and started crying so much, realizing how bad I actually was, and after that experience, I knew God had forgiven me and knew on that day, that I had been given a second chance to change my life, and that's exactly what I have been doing for all these months. I've made some mistakes during this time, and I regret them and I am sorry for doing them, but I am nowhere near the person I used to be, and no matter what happens in my life, Jocelynn, my friends and God will always keep me going strong.
Now that all that's out the way, it's time for other random stuff you should know about me:
- Everyone of my friends is basically family to me, losing a friend to me, is like losing a family member, that's how much my friends mean to me. I love everyone of my friends equally, and no matter what happens, I'll always love them, they could walk away and leave me and hate me for whatever reason they want, but that won't change how I feel about them, sure, it might sound stupid to some people, but it's just how I am, I'd rather just keep them in my heart to keep me going strong, than walk away from them like they've done to me.
- After going through life thinking there was nothing for me, but then eventually finding everything I'll ever need, the best girlfriend and friends anyone could ever want, I realized I just gotta believe as much as I can, and never give up, no matter how long it takes.
- I really don't care that much anymore about what people think about me, if you want to call me an asshole, bastard etc ... then do it, if you want to be my friend, then I'll be your friend, but if you don't wanna say anything nice to me, then fair enough, but don't expect me to abuse you back. Yeah, I got a short temper, but I'm learning to control it, and know that there's no point arguing back with ya'll, it'll be a waste of time.
- I sometimes cannot feel any physical pain at all, and I don't know why. Mentally I can feel pain whenever it happens, but physically, most of the time, it don't bother me.
Ok, that seems like everything about me, if you want to know anything else then just ask me, and before I go I just wanna say that I'm sorry to all those I have ever hurt, and thank you to everyone who's there for me.
Much Mother Fucking Wicked Clown Love all!
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Ok, now that I've told you all about me, I'll tell you about the most important person in my life, well actually, she is my life. Jocelynn is perfect, no words can even describe her. We've had so many arguments, even before we got together, but she stuck by me no matter what I did wrong. I got her heart and she got mine, and nothing or no one will ever change that. I cannot imagine life without her at all, she's so beautiful and makes me so happy, and can always put a smile on my face without even trying to. I know people say that no one's perfect, well maybe that's true, but Jocelynn ain't no one, she's the love of my life and always will be. The day we got together will always be in my heart, because on that day I became the happiest guy ever, and actually felt like a person again, and no matter how many times we argue, we're always gonna be there for each other. I love you so much Jocelynn!
^ the love of my life ^
my baby girl
my everything
the one person who can make me smile at anytime
the only person in the world who is perfect
the best girlfriend ever
<3 my baby Jocelynn <3
:) 12th Jan 2008 - now :)
v my baby! v
January 12th, 2008 was the day.
Promise to you baby girl, my feelings stayin' this way.
Never wanna hurt ya, never will I leave you alone.
Everytime i'm by your side, is when i'm really at home.
Always and forever, that's the pinky promise we made.
You're the reason why i'm smilin' at the start of the day.
And I hope you know I mean it everytime that I say.
I love you always and forever, it will always be the same.
The moment you're in pain, I wanna be there for you.
Cryin' everytime you cry and sharin' laughter with you.
When I look into your eyes I know our love is really true.
Ain't nothing I won't do if I can see my baby smile.
Remember you can call me anytime you're feelin down.
No girl can take your place and love me like the way you do.
So i'mma hold you tight, cause I need you by my side.
It's me and you forever, babe I need you in my life.
We were created to find each other.
Our fate written down for us to love forever.
Our hands lockin tight, as I look into the eyes.
Of that one special person who would complete my life.
You were the one I chose, out of all the rest.
The one who I would cherish, and I put in all my best.
Just to stay in your arms, as you hold me tight.
'cause baby, bein' with you just feels so right.
Every single second that I live, i'm thinkin' of you.
How we met was destiny, our love is honest and true.
Tell me what i'm supposed to do, if I ain't got you here.
I want to be the one that's by your side through the years.
Wanna be the one who's gonna fight away all your tears.
Replacin' it with happiness and take away all your fears.
One day we're gonna look at our pictures and reminisce.
Crazy are the things you do to me with just a little kiss.
I wouldn't trade you for the world, you're all that I need.
You're the only girl who ever got me feelin' so free.
And I love you, with all my heart and soul till I die.
I truly need you, baby you're the light in my life.
And I know it that one day for sure you're gonna be my wife.
Just hold on tight, because i'm always gonna treat you right.
My baby and my closest friend, I love you baby girl.
Until the day I die, i'll try to give you the world.
We were created to find each other.
Our fate written down for us to love forever.
Our hands lockin tight, as I look into the eyes.
Of that one special person who would complete my life.
You were the one I chose, out of all the rest.
The one who I would cherish, and I put in all my best.
Just to stay in your arms, as you hold me tight.
'cause baby, bein' with you just feels so right.
If loving you is wrong, then I don't want to be right.
Can't imagine what this life would be, without you by my side.
The day we met, I can't explain the way that I felt.
Feeling all these emotions that I cant even help.
If I didn't meet you, there won't be no smile on my face.
You doin' everything to me to make my heart beat or race.
Every little thing we do is just so special to me.
We were meant to be thats something I truly agree.
And I know its fate and destiny, I see it in your eyes.
Everytime you smile, I can't explain the feeling inside.
Always gonna treat you good, exactly like the first day.
Just promise to me baby that you'll never go away.
I love you Jocelynn!
