XxScroteMasterXx

About Me

I own and operate a body named Melissa. I am in love with the very charming and illustrious Jack Wynn.
hailed by many as:
The coolest girl in the entire universe - John Fahr
passive-aggressive, yet hysterically entertaining - Forbes Magazine
sardonically intune - Business Weekly
the feel good person of the year - ebert and roeper
gives you the feel of an indie film with much artistic potential.- Adil
20 degrees hotter than the sun! - Harry Carrey
a real asshole - anonymous
exudes more confidence, swagger, and finesse than fabio's loincloth could ever dream of doing. - the new york times
bitch stll owe me 20 dollar! - tyrell grisby
the simple pain of living; with good-byes on our lips - her space holiday
As a child, I dreamed of being one of the following:
1) A writer for Saturday Night Live
2) A veterinarian
3) An artist
If you'd like to appear on the acclaimed NBC series "To Catch a Predetor" feel free to IM me at Beepgoesrobot.. Home | Browse | Search | Invite | Film | Mail | Blog | Favorites | Forum | Groups | Events | Videos | Music | Comedy | Cla

My Interests

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, more Jack, a pinch of Jack, music, books, experience, friendly fire involving Nerf guns, avoiding social situations, fueling my neurotic tendencies, cookies and milk in gluttonous proportions, having inappropriate feelings for both Conor Oberst and Stephen Colbert, making light of serious subject matter, christopher walken fanfiction erotica, missing my childhood, mary jane shoes, blythe dolls, vinyl, SLR cameras, WIRED magazine, being of Portuguese and French descent, sprinkling crack on babies, holga photography, art, kitsch, the art & science of mixtapes, junk food, jane magazine, cryptozoology, water sprinklers, astronomy, ukuleles, heart-shaped boxes, philosophy, lollipops, ponies, rainbows, sugar gumdrops, and the consumption of helpless baby chickens.

I'd like to meet:

AND

Music:

super-power-indie-pop.

Movies:

Harold & Maude, Idiocracy, The Royal Tenenbaums, Rushmore, Knocked Up, Hedwig & the Angry Inch, Amelie, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...

Television:

Arrested Development
Human Giant
Robot Chicken
The Soup
King of the Hill

Books:

I am unliterate.

Heroes:

Bill Brasky

My Blog

Commencing to Hurl

"Stunning Photos That Will Bring You to Your Knees" ... Right as I launch myself into 'HURLING POSITION', you mean?......
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 08:59:00 PST

Can you say RAPE?

Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 10:08:00 PST

Friends, foes, stalkers, and those in between:

I'm sorry I haven't been available for social gatherings, AVON parties, or our beloved annual Seal Clubbing get-togethers. Working for peanuts and the occasional dollar bill has eradicated whatever fr...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Fri, 20 Jul 2007 12:33:00 PST

Somewhere

A trailer park is missing their resident redneck. That's what I initially thought when I was verbally threatened by one the other week for being an awful driver. ...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 09:24:00 PST

I'm curious

That's why they call me Whiskers. And, why you should respond to this cry for help, er, blog post!Name THREE THINGS you like about me:1.2.3.Name THREE THINGS you hate about me:1.2.3.Here's the fun par...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 08:05:00 PST

19 on the 19th.

I was 18 once. Now, it's forever immortalized. As a .JPG file. 19. What an undefining age. ...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Tue, 19 Jun 2007 08:58:00 PST

Shield ye eyes, o' pious one

Wayne Coyne is still foxy. Even at...40+?Oh, and remember how the Flaming Lips were suppose to release a movie?.. Wha' happened? ...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 09:41:00 PST

Naked part two

worst daay: er. burger king wants a resume.beep goes robot: apply in personbeep goes robot: no resume requiredbeep goes robot: would you like a kittenworst daay: -nod- i'm gonig to.worst daay: i wish....
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Mon, 04 Jun 2007 04:07:00 PST

NAKED

Spawned from the juicy bowels of Melissa & Amy's perverted mind. Inspired by the sexalicious Ryan Adams. worst daay: don't want him showing up on your doorstep ..worst daay: IN A CHASTITY ...
Posted by XxScroteMasterXx on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 10:00:00 PST