Gary

I'M FUCKING 34!?!? Oy, fucking vey! !!YO!!--Our soldiers need Silly String, which detects tripwires that set off deadly explosives. Marcelle Shriver, a soldier's mom from NJ, is collecting them. You can send cans to St. Luke's Catholic Church, 55 Warwick Road, Stratford, NJ 08084. A couple bucks spent on this could actually save a life. Spread the word!**Current Rant...people whose MySpace pages are like a motherfucking interactive experience at Epcot. I do NOT need things blinking, I do NOT need to hear music (yes, i'm aware of this being a Mecca for Musicians), I do NOT need to have some ridiculously BUSY background that makes reading every word a fucking chore. Many on here CLEARLY never took a layout and graphics class (props, Shaner!). Listen to Gary, jackasses! OK, now onto my cheery bio...I've now successfully surpassed the number of years Jesus Christ spent on this earth. I'm still startled by it. I'm very competitive, thus felt a need to match His accomplishments...minus the crucifixion part. People think i'm kidding, but it DOES irk me that I didn't do more in 33 years. LOOK at all Christ did! Oh, well, maybe i'll save the world in my 34th year. I'm very, VERY sarcastic, smart, wildly opinionated, always think i'm right (and usually am), have been accused of being too full of myself (see previous line), think too much, want too much, expect too much, love profanity, and have precious little patience. I just read Genius IQ Bitch Marilyn vos Savant's PARADE magazine column, and she calls people who curse a lot "less refined." I also recall Jerry Seinfeld once saying that cursing in stand-up isn't creative. Well, i'm very smart, very funny, very creative, have a superior vocabulary...and curse like it's going out of style. I find people who don't like to curse to be stick-up-their-ass dullards. Abstaining from using profanity doesn't impress me; the smarts and savvy to appear like a choir boy in the right setting does. It's all about adapting to the situation. As The Verve's BITTERSWEET SYMPHONY so eloquently said, "I'm a million different people from one day to the next." Manners are important. Respect and courtesy, too. About that patience thing...I like things fast. I walk, drive, talk, think, place items on the supermarket check-out counter FAST. MOVE, people! I'm very Type A...yet combined with a slacker/surfer mentality. Tres complex! I realize life is fleeting and fragile...and THIS is why I don't like waiting 2 minutes at a fucking light simply because the stupid bitch in front of me couldn't press her foot hard enough on the fucking gas pedal. I'm steeped in Catholicism, yet think religion's a scam. I'm more Democrat than Republican, but don't call me either one. I'm likely seen more as a liberal, but am often very conservative. I hate labels. I hate being pigeonholed. I hate expectations. I like to push the envelope. I love a challenge. I hate rules, but many are worthy. I love exploring new places, trying new things. Christ, this is like a Vanity Fair profile. Here I am...talk to me.