Mom,
3 kids,
1 dog (who thinks he's a human)
Couger is "Special". Couger is a human trapped in a dog's body.
Couger communicates in three ways:
1) barks, whines, growls, and makes other noises to get attention of animals with ears (usually his human slaves)
2) Body language: wags tail, looks soulfully into your eyes, rolls on his back, haunches down on his front paws, jumps, herds, runs, snaps, shows teeth, preens particularly at human females who usually respond, "What a cute boy"!
3) telepathic communication - usually the sending or receiving of a feeling or vision. Imagine this, today i sent him an image of "Cougar barking at the cookie jar" and three hours later he did exactly that !!!!Of course, since Cougar is trapped in a dog body and thinks he's human, he will not eat "dog food". Though he prefers to dine on the table, he will sit on a chair and eat delicately prepared bites off of a silver platter or set gently on the edge of the table in his place. When he's really hungry, he will eat snacks dropped on the floor, or left in his bowl on the floor. Cougar loves Cheese and bran muffins from Starbucks!
Of course Cougar is the alpha dog in the pack, being the only dog. At night he makes his rounds through the house and visits each of the sleeping humans. He may sleep for minutes or hours with any or all of them. It is Cougar's preference to sleep with 1) where ever the most people are congregated, e.g. with the pack - this applies mostly to sleepovers, which are doggie party times ! 2) with teenage girls in the family 3) mom - Ruthie, yes that's me!
Things Cougar does not like:
1) having his teeth brushed
2) being left alone
3) dog food
4) being groomed
5) going to VET
Cougar's favorite things:
1) Claudina (don't ask)
2) balls
3) lemons (he thinks they are live balls because when he bites them they squirt him with lemon oil)
4) walks
5) car rides
6) Chicken flavored dog snacks
Things that have been blamed on poor Cougar
1) icecream missing from the fridge
2) missing homework
3) opened Christmas gifts (yes before Christmas)
4) spills and mysterious messes of various kinds
Annoying Things Cougar does:
- Marks every bush or tree or hydrant or tire he passes while on a walk
- Hauls Claudina out for a fling when the kids bring their friends over to watch a movie
- Licks snot and eats boogies
- Guards pizza crusts
Cougar's favorite places:
- Los Gatos Starbucks
- Stanford Mall
- Borders in Los Gatos
- on Ruthie's lap in the car
- in bed with Lou
Finally it's not fair not to touch on what a difficult life Cougar is living. What a pioneer. Imagine the gender issues he faces when the girls call him "princess and Queen". Even scarier, the species issues he faces daily trying to live the life of a human in a dog body, and he's nicknamed "Cougar"
Dog factoid: Dogs understand 90 percent of human language - i wish my kids did too!
