Sexy

THE PARTY IS ALWAYS BETTER WHEN YOU LEAVE THE DRAMA AT THE DOOR..........
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Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.*************************************************** ************************************************************ ***************For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.**************************************************** **** ********************************************* ------------------------------------------------------------ - ------------------------------------------------------------ - ----------------------------------------------------------- ........................................................ ............................................................ I am a single mother of 2 kids. One is grown and the other still growning. I like being active. I like to sometimes just be chill. I have no time for arrogance, drama, or dumb shit so don't bring it. I like nice things so I work alot. I'm horrified of dogs and heights -- so don't ask me to do anything with either-- other than that-- I am game to do just about anything. During the summer I like to spend as much time as i can outdoors. During the winter I like to be warm -- so think about it!!!I have been single for a while now and I think one day I would like to get married. That would mean i should probably start with a boyfriend... So I started dating-- I am looking for a laid back dude with a lot of patience. Outside of football season -- he has to get off the couch. He has to be domesticated (a lil bit). HE has to know how to whip it up in the kitchen and put it down in the bedroom. ************************************************************ * *********************************************************** *********************************************************** ***********************************************************I t takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them and a day to love them. It takes an entire life time to forget them.......live long laugh loud and love hard******************************** ******************************************************** ******************************************************** *************************** *************************** 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." .......................................... ........... 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." ........................................ ........ 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" .......................................... ....... 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why." ..................................... .......... 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." ................................... ........... 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." ................................. ................... 7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about." ................................... .............. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." ......................................... ............ 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!" .................................................. .............. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." ........................................ ................... 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it." ............................. ....... 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!" ............................ ................ 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." .............................. ......... 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!" .................... ........................... .... 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." .................... ........................ 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home" .................... ............................... 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" ....................................... ................. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." ..................... .......................... 19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" ..................... ............ 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." ........................ .............................. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." .................... ......... 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father." .................... ............................... 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" ....................... ............................. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." ...................... ............... 25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you ************************************************************ ************************************************************ ************** ******************************* *******************

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