dasroight

people who don't know me think i have the body of a svelte, pre-teen swedish boy. don't be put off by my cambodian porn star exterior. i'm not even cambodian. i have a weird fascination with the 80s. Don't talk smack about transformers or I will cut you.
i am a retired import model. i got tired of the fast cars, fast life and the tupperware parties. after hanging my thong, i had a short stint as hand model but was tragically cut short by what people now refer to as the "hangnail incident." i have now moved on to bigger and better things.
RANDOMNESS:
- i actually like reading people's profiles.
- i love coca-cola more than anyone knows.
- if there was a planet of crabs, i can annihilate their race in a month. i love crab. i can just about eat it everyday.
- for some reason, i think the sexiest part of a woman's body is the stomach.
- i'm a recovering matcha green tea blast addict.
- everything i think about is in relation to food.
- i have an acute sense of smell.
- i'm a hand model, so i have soft, smooth hands. I'm spectacular in the sack.
- love to cook and eat, hate to clean.
- very athletic, if i can get myself out of bed.
MY PICTURES:
- 10-09-04 cinespace birthday
- 10-31-04 halloween
- hawaii
- 07-29-06 malinda's birthday
- 10-07-06 my birthday
- 10-28-06 halloween party
- 05-07-07 arizona trip
WHAT'S IN MY FRIDGE?:
- a 24-pack of beer in the crisper
- a big bag of potstickers
- half a bottle of wine
- a tupperware of probably 2-month old porkchop meat
- half a bottle of 100% maple syrup
- a box of microwaveable breakfast sausage muffins
- innumerable cans of cherry coke
- several styrofoam boxes of unknown random leftovers (i have no idea how old they are)
- 30 assorted squeezebottles of "sauces"
- a large bowl of leftover kfc gravy
- a packet of shredded taco cheese
- a box of banquet microwaveable chicken
FAVORITE QUOTES:
"My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really."
[ Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery ]
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"It insists upon itself, Lois."
[ Peter Griffin, Family Guy ]
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"Hello up there, i seem to have fallen down a cliff...i'm still alive, but i'm very badly injured. I think my legs might be broken but, I, I'll try to stand up---*crrraaaack*--- yes. they are broken...Perhaps you could toss me a band-aid or some anti-bacterial cream? I'm in an extraodinarily large amount of pain. The bone has gone through the skin, i fear it might be gangrenous. The wound is beginning to smell a little like almonds....which is not good......Please?...no one?....I'll try the other leg.....*craaaack*."
[ Mustafa, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me ]
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"It's that damn Hansel. He's so hot right now!"
[ Mugatu, Zoolander ]
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"Why are you always telling me to go fuck a goat?"
"All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, tackle drunk bitches."
[ Jay, The 40 Year Old Virgin ]
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