Well after traveling to different corners of the world, I’ve gained a new respect for life and how it should be lived. Happiness doesn’t just happen, it takes a little bit of effort yet it’s totally free, so enough of sounding like a dalai lama and more about me and stuff. Lets see... im Chinese-Portuguese-French, not necessarily in that specific order but my dna does comprise of the three nationalities, but I was born in South Africa, and am currently still here. Roundabouts. Others tend to disagree.
So, lately I’ve been to Brasil and walked up to Chris(t) on top of Corcovado, then I got mugged in Copacabana, then I had a samba party in a Favela and watched a crazy football match in Rio and got caught in all its festivities, then I caught a plane to Salvador and drove through the streets on the opposite side of the road, got lost in a dodgy location where a man chased us with a baseball bat, finally found our way to the turtle nature reserve. Fun! Fun! Then caught a boat to some island, road a horse through the rainforests of Morro de Sao Paulo and got attacked by parrots (not pirates). Then went to Mozambique and rescued dozen and dozens of starfish off the Portuguese Island, ate the best prawns ever and lit fireworks through the streets of Maputo. Then flew to South East Asia where I stayed in Khao San Road, Bangkok Thailand. Crazy! Crazy! Got horribly drunk and then horribly drunk and forgot to salute the King. Walked with amazement through the Royal Palace and celebrated by eating a cricket. Crunch! Crunch! Got horribly drunk again and caught a plane to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Caught a bus to Siem Riep, sharing it with chickens, old ladies and 6 hours of time. Trekked through the jungles of Northern Cambodia to find the Temples of Angkor. Amazing! Amazing! Then I got a 2 hour massage in Siem Riep for $12, best $12 I’ve ever spent, partied at the Blue Pumpkin and got horribly drunk (I see a pattern) on the flight back to Thailand. Cut my foot open in Phuket and got caught with a bunch of crazy Norwegians on route to Koh Phangan. Started our own party on a night ferry and got totally stoned. Whoop! Whoop! Attended the biggest beach party in the world, Full Moon Party, and cried like a baby when sharing a bed with the biggest spider in the world, Full Moon Spider. Then I played with Tigers at the Tiger Sanctuary in Kanchanburi, walked across the bridge on the River Kwai, road an elephant and then went bamboo rafting. Played snooker for 200 hours and then promptly missed our bus to the ping pong show. Then went to Europe, arrived in Switzerland and swam in its many rivers and lakes, saw Madonna’s house in Lake Como, waved at George Clooney, shopped in Milan, saw the Last Supper painting and pondered if it really is a woman. Fell in love with Florence and its stunning landscape. Ate ice-cream, too much, sneaked a picture of the Statue of David, climbed 400 steps to reach the top of the 4th biggest cathedral in the world, caught a train to Pisa and tilted my head so the world seemed straight. Caught a train to Rome where I walked where the Romans walked in the Colloseo and through the Palatino. Marvelled at the Pantheon threw coins in the Fountain de Trivi in the hopes of returning again someday. Said a prayer in the Sistine Chapel, walked around with my jaw on the ground through the Vatican City and was completely shell shocked at the size of St Peter’s Cathedral, danced with a bunch of strangers at 2am in the Roma train station. Caught a train to France and drove a Ferrari 355 Spider through the streets of Monaco, swam in the Mediterranean in Nice, and sat in the cell where they kept the Man In The Iron Mask in Cannes. Fell in love (again) in Nice and romanced on the pebbles till sunrise over the Mediterranean. Then I caught a train to Spain (only before missing my stop and switching trains), saw Le Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, went on a crazy clubbing excursion, posed with the European Champions Cup, made some crazy friends and cooked a dodgy meal for the whole hostel. Caught a train back to France, found my way to Paris, fell in love again (I see a pattern) and then somehow making it to Holland. Got stoned in Amsterdam, saw a peep show, ate some pans, played some football in the park with some girls only to be dribbled silly, drank far too much Heineken and back on a train to Switzerland. Bounce! Bounce! Partied at the Street Parade in Zurich, ate far too much chocolate, saw the alps in the distance and got soaked at the Rhein Falls.
What else? Oh I only drink rooibos tea, no milk, two sugars. Have two kids in Deneiro and Poochino. Love a good movie but lately haven’t the time, adore Tom Robbins, well his writing. Have a secret love affair with Marisa Tomei and Scarlett Johansson and Claire Forlani is carrying my unborn child. People think im crazy and weird but im really just weird and crazy. and and and… I have an eerie collection of doll heads.
Not really.
