Queen of teh Forest profile picture

Queen of teh Forest

CORTO PARA ARRIBA Y DOY GOLPES PARA ABAJO (my vaginal secretions smell like glue and burn little hol

About Me


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Click to see my Sexy Vids

Yo fumo blunts todo los dias y pongo pol el internet tambien.Heyz... You guys are probably not gonna believe this but... Have you guys been the QT's asking me where I get my boob and butt plumper???? Well I don't have a myspace, so I'm using my friends computer intenet accounts... but I can tell ya where to get tons of FREE boob/butt plumper and ringtones and giftcards. FREEEEEE!!!! Don't tell anyone though! Because I'm not sending this spammy message to anyone and everyone!!! These are top secret savings. Click below to make many friends and receive things for absolutely FREE! Listen to my friends band and vote for them when you get a chance, too. Peace.Click here to get FREE CRAP!!!
I used to believe that the mysterious little holes in the crotches of my underwears were caused by my vaginal secretions. They smell like glue. My vaginal secretions seem like they might have the potential to produce problems such as said porous panty parts. I was so naive. I'm way more mature now. I now know, that it was my dog, Spunky, chewing the holes in my panties. He eats my discharges, and takes some of my cotton crotch liner along with them. I caught the little bastard in the act, that's how I know. I invited him up to sleep with me one night... slept with my legs spread open (on purpose,) and fell asleep. I didnt mean to fall asleep, but I did anyhow. When I woke up, sure enough... his head was burried in between my legs and my undies were tore up. Some lessons must be learned teh hard way.
ABOUT ME?
Bar fights. I get crunk in clubs and clock cunts till they cant c straight. If a bitch be fuckin with my man, I'll beat her ass, and lift her valuables cause thats whats comin to her... He's mine and thats what she deserves. I'm all about fist fighting frumpy old ho's wearing floral frocks who cant keep their eyes to themselves. They may think they're badass, but they're not. THEY'RE NOT BADASS! THEY'RE NOT BADASS!
WOULD THEY DIE FOR YOU?!? I would die for you.NOTE: *Sometimes my poop gets stuck halfway out of my butt. I rock back and forth on the commode... maybe take my moms little bubble bath spoon, and try to scoop the big hard pieces of poop out. When I do that, I'll occasionally get a little bit of bloody stool. The blood kinda scares me and my mom, so I'll quit with the spoon and just squeeze my butt cheecks together really tightly till my face turns red. I really hate it when the squeezing forces my tampon (not even hardly used all the way) out. I have to wring it out and push it back in with my finger if I cant find the plastic applicator in the garbage.*

F.Y.I.- I don't like the way my ear wax tastes. I don't even like the way it tastes when I rub the area behind my ear, and then rub my lip with that finger... and then lick my lip. Sometimes I let my toenails grow too long. When this happens I take a toothpick, and scrape under the toenail in the corner part. I don't like the way that smells, so I don't try to taste it. I like to sit on couches, and smoke pot while watching programs in other languages.

My Interests

MYTIGHTSWEETSICKAWESOMEKICKASSFUCKINFASTVANOFAWHIP!
Mi furgoneta es mejor que tu carro. A chupate los huevos de un burro.

I HAVE SOME ACTION FIGURES.

ANOTHER INTEREST: SPUNKY (OR WUBBIE FOR SHORT) VERY VICIOUS AND ATTACKS ON COMMAND. BEWARE OF HIS SHARP TEETH. TAKE THIS WARNING AND WRITE IT DOWN MOTHER FUCKERS! IF YOU COME NEAR THE QUEEN HE WILL DEMOLISH YOUR FACE! SO WATCH OUT!

I LOVE SPUNKY AND HE LOVES ME BACK

Movies

I like to play darts

I'd like to meet:

OH, I'LL TELL YOU WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET!!!! I WILL TELL YOU WHO I'D LIKE TO MEET ALRIGHT! I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE SKINPRICK WHO RIPPED THE EMBLEM OFF THE BACK OF MY VAN THEN TOSSED IT INSIDE OF THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE CHESTER BIG K! I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THAT MOTHER FUCKER WHO WOULD DO SOMETHING TO AN OBVIOUS FOREST QUEEN. I WOULD LIKE TO MEET THE DUMB BUTT WITH THE AUDACITY TO SNATCH MY EMBLEM WHILE I AM SITTING RIGHT THERE!!!! IN THE BACK SEAT COLLECTING ALL OF MY CHUCK E CHEESE TOKENS OFF THE FLOOR!

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO MEET THE FUCKER ON MYSPACE WHO GOT ME BUSTED! THEY SAW ALL THE ROCK I HAD AND NOW I'M BUSTED! I KNOW ONE OF YOU HONKY CRACKERS REPORTED ME TO THE D.E.A. SHORTLY AFTER I GOT HOME FROM MY CRUISE THE SQUADS BUSTED ALL UP IN MY AREA MY PAD. I HAD 2 MOTHER FUCKING LBS OF FLAV IN THIS JOINT AND THE PIGS ARE KEEPING IT SAYING I ONLY HAD TWO GRAMS AND A PIPE!!!!THEYRE GONNA GET ALL THE LUCCI CRENO THAT SHOULD BE MINE. WELL IF YOU FUCKERS WANNA TATTLE THEN TELL DADDY AND THE PO PO I SAID THIS:

"NOW I'M GONNA BUST A FUCKING CAP IN YOUR ASS! WHOEVER REPORTED ME IS DEAD!!! I HATE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY 'FRIENDS' ON HERE AND ONE OF YA'S GONNA DIE.
And
Whitney Houston.

My Friend Space

Mina

Bethany White

Ginna

Amethyst

Allanah Star

Rhonda

It Hurts So Good

Bobbi

Rebecca

Barbie

lolo

Darla

Corset Doll

Panty

Michelle

Jessica
View all

Music:

Click here to view my music preferences.

Movies:

I would like to tie your shoe laces together so when you stand up you will fall down. then blindfold you and spin you around into oncoming traffic. Then I will ask you to go to the coolest new flick with me on a crowded night and before you sit down I'll sneak a whoopie cushion on your seat and when you sit down everyone will think you're gross and I'm cool.

Television:

Cops, all reality T.V., and anything with an appearance from Julia Child and/or Suzanne Roberts. Tyra, oh! And documentaries on morbidly obese people ...

Books:

Q: You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?

A: Tricks Your Cat Can Do by Gilbert W. Langley.Page 53. UPTRICK: Cat will sit like a groundhog (up on back legs with front paws up) when you give him verbal and hand signals.Page 54. Materials:1. A cat whose mother was a groundhog. 2. A platform to "show off" on. 3. Reinforcers. 4. A small whip and chair for the trainer. This will greatly enhance the dramatic effect of "up."HAND SIGNALA thumbs up (the hitchhiker's sign).COMMENTS"Up" is an extremely easy trick to teach your cat. All you need to do is get him to assume a groundhog position so that you can reinforce it. Physically shaping it, showing the cat pictures of groundhogs, and describing the posture to him. Your cat will be "up" in no time at all and you'll be the proud owner of a cat that can masquerade as a groundhog.^^^ I use that book with my cat, Damien. It works.

Heroes:



I know who my hero is. I know who I look up to. I look up to Holie Madison. She's Hue Heffners FIRST girlfriend and so she's the only one of them that I admire. She's the winner girlfriend. The other two are losers. They might as well be dead last sitting on the back burner because Holy is number one and Heff is such a dreamy catch.

Status and Info-

If you are with that damn collection agency you can:You can leave
----
Connections: old man Carter
Vehicle Type: Black She-Van
Forest Location: Behind my moms shed
Body Type: Buff.
Ethnicity:Gypsy
Any Hairy Balls? Spunky has two
Sign: Heffer
Smoke / Drink: No / Wine out of a box.
Dog: West Highland White Terrier
Education: Haven't been to high school yet
Occupation:Prostitute, Hooker... Crack Whore... etc.
Income: Depends on the weather ON JD HWY really

..

My Blog

Lesbian Lust

The Halloween party was lovely.  Great punch, awesome company...  I went as an owl.  I was a little bloated, so I had to wrap my middle section with parchment paper before applying my c...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Mon, 30 Oct 2006 07:38:00 PST

Friday teh 13th

Some lessons must be learned the hard way. I have to learn hard lessons all the time. Sometimes I have to learn hard lessons up in the attic with uncle Sal. Last Friday fell on the 13th, and I h...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Wed, 18 Oct 2006 10:37:00 PST

My Fourth Hole

My plans for Saturday evening were packed so full of exciting things that I could've given miss Paris Hilton herself a run for her money! I wanted to dress accordingly. I have this shimmery tube top.....
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Mon, 25 Sep 2006 08:59:00 PST

How teh Hackers Hurt Your Highness

As some of you may or may not already know, hackers hacked into my MySpace.com account and sabotaged my style sheets.  I couldn't log in for days.  Those mischievous subversive myspacer...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Fri, 18 Aug 2006 12:38:00 PST

Just teh Tip

Sometimes, it's the people who I'm closest to who fool me and treat me like a piece of smelly shit. I had to wake up Saturday morning earlier than I wanted to. I was having this hot dream that starre...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Tue, 08 Aug 2006 07:29:00 PST

Paint My Vomit Crimson

Last night my fetus was making me really nauseous so I smoked some chronic. Then I made myself a bologna samich with cheese and mustard on whole wheat bread. I also had a pickle spear, I dunno... may...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Sun, 16 Jul 2006 10:53:00 PST

D Clot Cleanin Robot

That time of month don't know what to do let alone a rag I aint got no tissues   Its a mess Its a mess Its a bloody mess Its a mess Its a mess Its a bloody mess   Fuck a pearl girl I rock...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Wed, 22 Mar 2006 06:09:00 PST

Herbie Nibs

I am really shocked that last Friday night turned out alright considering all of the given obstacles. To start the night off, I was really happy... dancing around my bedroom... in my see through polk...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Tue, 28 Feb 2006 07:33:00 PST

Top Rope Wrestling Moves

My life is so entirely messed up right now. No one even cares about my inner thoughts or feelings. I really have no one in my life who gives a damn. I miss the warm sunny days when me and F...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Sat, 18 Feb 2006 01:02:00 PST

Beer Bong + Burgers = Farty Odors

I was totally stoked about the super bowl XXL. I'm pretty happy that Philadelphia won, I knew they would. I had a big huge super bowl date with a buff creatine machine named Brandon. I had to wear my...
Posted by Queen of teh Forest on Mon, 06 Feb 2006 08:45:00 PST