Alan Smithee profile picture

Alan Smithee

Judge me as you would a stale waffle

About Me

I have a penis.You can also check out my writing here
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My Interests

See occupation.

I'd like to meet:

Someone with a Vagina. Preferably on their chest. And, if that fails, then I would like to meet Colin Newman, Stan Ridgway, Jason Becker, and Jay Sankey
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Music:

Joy Division, Anything Les Claypool, Bauhaus, Devo, Blues Brothers, Converge, Mozart, Led Zepplin, Beethoven, Colin Newman, Wire, Cypress Hill, Wolfmother, Pixies, Thursday, At The Drive In,M83,Buckethead,, Anything Mike Patton, Jason Becker, Randy Rhoads, Skafish, Alley Cats, Mogwai, Wall of Voodoo just to name a few. ....

Movies:


And if that doesn't cover them all.My favorite movies are; Dr. Strangelove, Blues Brothers, Sleuth, Strangers on a Train, Rope, Psycho, Rear Window, The Fly (1986), Amadeus, M, The Seventh Seal, Psycho II, Better Off Dead, Naked Lunch, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Videodrome,Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Jackie Brown, Caddyshack, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, 1941, The Public Enemy, White Heat, The Man Who Knew Too Much(both versions), Blade Runner, The Apartment, Sunset blvrd, Stalag 17, Being There, Some Like It Hot, Back to the Future, Back to the Future II, Asphalt Jungle, The Birds, Vertigo, Il Bruno, il Brutto, il Cattivo, Changing Lanes, Deul, Joyride, Casablaca, The China Syndrom, The Odd Couple, Charade, The Hunt For Red October, Clear and Present Danger, Dial "M" For Murder, Norht By Northwest, Frenzy, A Clockwork Orange, Fight Club, American History X, Fargo, Raising Arizona, Neon Genisis Evangelian: the End of Evangelian, The Unkown, Laugh Clown Laugh, The Ace of Hearts, The Phantom of the Opera (1923), The Taming of the Shrew, The 39 Steps, Topaz, The Torn Curtain, Marnie, The Wrong Man, Akira, Punch-Drunk Love, Jaws, Mother Jugs and Speed, Donnie Darko, Animal House, An American Werewolf in London, The Pink Panther, Murder by Death, The Pink Panther Strikes Again, The Revenge of the Pink Panther, A Shot in the Dark, Gambit, In the Heat of the Night, To Sir With Love, Goldfinger, And Then There Were None, The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, Freaks, M*A*S*H, A Face in the Crowd,Trouble With Harry, Jurrassic Park, Murder on the Orion Express, Modern Times, City Lights, The Circus, Monsieur Verdoux, A Woman of Paris, The Great Dictator, Network, Tommy Boy, He Who Gets Slapped, Little Ceasar, Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 8 1/2, House of Wax(1953), House on Haunted Hill(1959), The Last Man on Earth, The Invisible Man(1933), Ghost World, The Maltese Falcon, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Se7en, Fahrenheit 451, Wait Until Dark, Young Frankenstien, The Producers, High Anxiety,Star Trek: Wrath Of Kahn, Star Trek: Undiscovered Country, Space Balls, Blazing Saddles, Robin Hood Men In Tights, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Princess Monanoke, Spirited Away, Apollo 13, Gattaca, I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, For a Few Dollars More, A Fistful of Dollars, Once Upon A Time In The West, Seven Samurai, The Usual Suspects, Robocop, The Crow, The Manchurian Candidate, Support Your Local Sheriff, Alien, 2001 A Space Oddyssey, Harvy, The 400 blows, Paths of Glory, Duck Soup, Horse Feathers, Animal Crackers, A Night at the Opera, Harvey, To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Grapes of Wrath, The Big Lebowski, 12 Angery Men, Lady From Shanghai, Terminator, UHF, A Streetcar Named Desire, Taxi Driver, Ferris Buellers Day Off, Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2, Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal, Red Dragon, Brazil, Five Fingers, Fast Times At Rigemont High, Reds, Ed Wood, Sleeper, Kelly's Heroes, Memento, Insomnia, The Graduate, Manhatten, Bananas, Annie Hall, Boogie Nights, The Conversation, Good Morning Vietnam, Magnolia, It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World, American Beauty, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Play It Again Sam, Requiem for a Dream,A History of Violence, Pi, Dead Ringers, Brink of Life, Glass House (1972), Yojimbo, Sneakers, Harold and Maude, Metropolis, The Picture of Dorian Gray(1945), Theatre of Blood, Night of the Living Dead, The Candidate, Double Indemnity, Aliens, Tough to Handle, Carnival of Souls, Bird with the Crystal Plumage, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie, Un Chien Andalou, Battleship Potempkin, Night of the Living Dead(1990),My Life as a Dog, The Roaring Twenties, The Godfather, Westworld, Jurassic Park, Jurrasic Park: The Lost World, The Cube(1969), College, The Camera Man, La Strada, Wild Strawberries The Twilight Zone: The Movie, Mystic River, Snatch, Dazed and ConfusedTHIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE EVER MADE
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Television:

Television is for commies.

Books:

Silence of the Lambs, Great Expectations, A Tale Of Two Cities, Whip Hand, Richard the Third, Romeo and Juliet(if they count as books) The Narrative Life of Fredrick Douglas, The Martian Chronicles, Metamorphosis, anything from John Scarne.

Heroes:

Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, Lon Chaney, Alfred Hitchcock, Charles Dickens, Colin Newman, Stan Ridgway, Mark Mothersbough, Bob Saget, Steven Wright, John Scarne, Jay Sankey, Buckethead, Jason Becker, Randy Rhodes, Mozart.

My Blog

Me doing my thing

Well, this blog is special, because not only do I play guitar, BUT I DO CARD TRICKS! Now i have told some about my card tricks, so here you get to see me in action. First, me playing my guitar. Here i...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 11:29:00 PST

Me at Into the Bean

Well, since i played some harder stuff last time I thought i would play something softer. I made this piece and messed it up a little (I am always nervous since i only have one take to get it right.) ...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:10:00 PST

My second show

Well, I played again at the same place and I thought I would post it. Stage fright got to me again adn I got nervous because I could tell the crowd didn't like me because everyone else played acoustic...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 10:48:00 PST

My first show ever

Alright, let me start by saying that this is my first performance ever, and I am not happy with it. I could have done better, but I had trouble hearing my rythem guitarist os I couldn't tell if I was ...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Tue, 13 Mar 2007 10:05:00 PST

3 Inches of Blood

A while ago I got to go to my first concert. While most of the kids were there for shitty emo monstrousity 69 Eyes, or below medocre Cradle of Filth(I will never forgive them for the Mr. Crowley cover...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 10:55:00 PST

My latest kicks

Well, I haven't posted a blog in some time now, and I decided I owed you folks who were kind enough to subscribe to my vast craziness to post something. I have been listening to the same bands, and in...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 10:30:00 PST

Great guys with offical myspaces

Well, the year is comming to an end, and in that time I have had my myspace for little over a year and have managed to find some great musicians and comedians with offical myspaces who happen to be gr...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Fri, 22 Dec 2006 12:52:00 PST

Cut In their Prime

I have been noticing osmething rather sad to me: The good musicians always manage to die when the crap ones manage to live. Well, I thought I would mention some of my favorites who fit this catagory i...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Thu, 07 Dec 2006 03:31:00 PST

Jason Becker

I grew up on three guitarists as a kid: Randy Rhodes, Buckethead, and Jason Becker. Jason Becker was the most interesting to me since he was a Neo Classical Guitarist, a style of which I hadn't heard ...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:37:00 PST

Urgh! A Music War

Recently I downloaded the cult classic feature film "Urgh! A Music War" which features some of the biggest bands of the 80's all playing concerts. I thought I would share my favorite parts. Here is a ...
Posted by Alan Smithee on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 03:32:00 PST